


Bearers of the New King

by Spunky0ne



Series: Bearers of the New King [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-07 04:03:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 86,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spunky0ne/pseuds/Spunky0ne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Aizen Sousuke and the Spirit King destroy each other, Byakuya and Renji are chosen to undergo a ritual meant to bring forth a new Spirit King. As Interim King and Consort, the two attempt the a rebirth ritual. **This is the first of my stories to include my OC, Kuchiki Tetsuya. I had no idea how well readers would respond to him, and that I would be asked constantly, "Is he a real Bleach character? He must be!" Thanks so much to everyone who has made him such a success! Spunky and Tetsuya both love ya'!!!**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Coming of the Black Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji are chosen to engage in a rebirth ritual to make a new spirit king.

Renji paused in the midst of signing the report he had just finished, upon hearing the sound of rain falling outside. He enjoyed the way it sounded, the way it felt on his skin when he walked in it, and the way it brought such good smells and the growth of new flowers everywhere it fell. He was glad for the rain falling now. Hearing it, he couldn't help but think about how what he and his taichou had experienced together in the aftermath of Aizen Sosuke's treachery had been like the rain falling on parched ground.

Renji had fully expected that Kuchiki Byakuya would seek to have him removed from his post, perhaps arrested after all that had happened. It's what he would have done before. But despite the fact that Byakuya seemed, in most ways, to have returned to his distant, stoic self, some things had changed. Renji was surprised to learn that not only had Byakuya refused to pursue action against him for his insubordination, he had also made a point of telling Soutaichou, when asked, that he preferred to keep Renji at his side.

It had confused Renji at first. He wondered what could be the reason for him doing that…and waited for Byakuya to say something. But Byakuya had never been one to reveal his reasons easily. One had, Renji knew, to look beneath the hardness and quiet at the surface to see what lay beneath it, and when Renji looked at the things Byakuya did, what he saw was a new level of respect growing between them…a sense of gratitude for Renji's persistence in protecting Rukia, and a sincere desire to improve their working relationship. Renji answered his taichou's veiled overtures with a return to his general friendliness in exchanges with his taichou, in sincere efforts to improve his fighting skills and in finding small way to indicate to Byakuya that, despite everything, he too, wanted to improve their working relationship.

He couldn't help but feel proud at how well their division had performed ever since. Byakuya's strategic knowledge and Renji's ability to communicate the taichou's commands to the others in such a capable way, resulted in a squad that worked together seamlessly. But even with all that had improved, there were some things Renji wished would change.

He looked over at the quiet form that worked at the desk across from his…hardly looking up, hardly acknowledging he wasn't alone, hardly seeming to notice the world around him. Despite the fact that Renji understood what had changed between him, he longed for some kind of shift in demeanor, something stated openly, something other than having to interpret every small sign. He wanted Byakuya to tell him in words that he was valued, that he was capable, that he was appreciated. He knew very well it wasn't likely to happen. Byakuya simply wasn't made that way. When one worked alongside Kuchiki Byakuya, he had to be willing to rely on the small details, the half-hidden things that said what he was thinking beneath those calm gray eyes. And in absence of a way to do that, Renji made the choice to simply accept Byakuya as he was. After all, Byakuya had done the same for him.

Still, there were times…

"Abarai, is something wrong?"

The tone was placid, like everything else…not cold, but not warm either. And it told Renji to stop daydreaming and to return to his work.

"Sorry Taichou," he said softly, "I was distracted by the rain."

"Hmm…" came the noncommittal reply.

In the past, he would have issued a reprimand for Renji not to lose focus or slack off…but this small concession was another reminder that something was different…in a good way. Anyone else would have overlooked it, but Renji saw it for what it was and responded in kind.

"Would you like some tea, Taichou?" he asked pleasantly.

"Yes, tea would be good, Abarai, arigato."

Again, not a word was wasted, but there was something there. Renji smiled congenially and, rising to make the tea, contented himself with that. He hadn't taken more than a few steps when the alert sounded.

Code Red Emergency…Code Red Emergency…The dimension wall has been breached. All squads report to the dimension wall…The dimension wall has been breached…all squads report to the dimension wall.

Byakuya's eyes rose to meet Renji's and Renji nodded, then shot down the hallway, calling the squad to assemble. The barracks erupted in the sounds of startled voices, the swish of clothing, and the hiss of flash steps as the squad quickly assembled outside the Squad Six Headquarters and Byakuya and Renji led them away.

They heard the sounds of battle even before they arrived, the shouts and grunts, the crashing of swords. Byakuya's eyes met Renji's again and Renji turned and shouted to the group following.

"Arms ready!"

Zanpakutou clicked free and hissed as they were drawn, then moments later, the noise exploded around them. Renji shouted to the group to break for the palace and followed as Byakuya flash stepped forward. They shot through the break in the wall and bypassed the entangled forces engaging the hollows. Their duty was clear. Protect the royal family at all costs.

They burst into the palace, shaken by the sight of the shattered doors, the bodies lying all about and the blood running beneath their feet. They heard voices ahead of them and turned toward the throne room, shuddering inside as they turned the corner and saw the blackened remains of the throne room door and the guards that had tried to protect it.

Suddenly, Byakuya slid to a stop, releasing a small, barely audible gasp of dismay. Renji stopped as well, catching his breath sharply as his eyes fell on the scattered bodies that littered the room…the queen, fallen with her protectors all around her and behind her, the children that she and the others had tried to protect. And all around them, the royal guardsmen, their white uniforms splashed with their blood and the blood of the royal family they had sought to protect. And at the final doorway, they found the bodies of Gin and Tousen…not torn, like the others, but neatly executed…at the moment their usefulness ended.

"Renji…"

He had never heard emotion like that in Byakuya's voice, but he heard it now. He turned to the rest of the group.

"Check for signs of life, no matter how small. Save anyone you can! And stay here…"

He turned back to Byakuya and the two stepped forward into the Spirit King's Garden, where none but the royal family and royal guardsmen were allowed to go. They had only gone a few steps in when they found the two…their bodies locked against each other, blackened and ruined.

Renji stared in disbelief. He turned to say something to Byakuya, but the noble had dropped to his knees. Renji moved closer and felt a new wave of shock pass over him as he realized that Byakuya's body was shaking. His breath came out in trembling bursts and his eyes were filled with tears.

"Oh, kami…Taichou…" he breathed.

Byakuya's next words nearly shattered his heart.

"They…trusted us to…protect them. The Gotei 13…and especially the noble families…Renji…"

He opened his mouth to reply, but was struck silent as the spirit energy rose around them and the other taichous flash stepped into the gardens. Soutaichou approached Byakuya and as he quietly observed the fallen king and Aizen Sosuke, he brought a hand to rest on Byakuya's shoulder. The noble's eyes closed and his head bowed.

"We…failed them…" Byakuya managed in a whisper.

"Hai," the old voice intoned sadly, "but do not let yourself be overcome with grief, Kuchiki Byakuya. Our enemies have fallen as well…and we have the ability to bring forth a new king. The way will be difficult…but we will find our way."

He turned to the rest of the taichous.

"We must seal off the palace and gardens and begin repairs on the dimension wall. As soon as the crews are at work, I want all of you to meet with me to discuss our plan of action. The worlds of shinigami, hollow and human will begin to collide quickly. Unless steps are taken to provide an interim king and consort, everything will be lost. Move quickly now!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya stood quietly in the first division meeting room alongside the other taichous, awaiting the arrival of Soutaichou. Calm had been restored to the stoic features as realization set in that there was nothing anyone could do to change the facts of the situation. Aizen Sosuke had managed to break through the dimension wall and had murdered the royal family. And although he paid for the attempt with his life, he had forced the Gotei 13 into a desperate situation. Byakuya shivered softly, wondering how awful the process for restoring the royal family must be.

The king commanded great power…power protected by several deep enchantments. Byakuya knew that upon the death of the king, his powers had left his body and had returned to the king's prism…there to await the arrival of the interim king and consort…and the way of renewal. He felt another shiver pass through him as he wondered how the interim king and consort must be chosen.

He felt the approach of Soutaichou and felt as though the breath had been suddenly sucked from his body. But he held himself perfectly still…surrendering nothing of the turmoil within.

"I thank you all for gathering so quickly. As you know, the royal family has fallen and it is left to us to bring forth the new king…or our worlds will collide and end. As long as the palace remains empty, our worlds will close on each other. We will slowly lose our powers as our worlds collide and, in the end, all life, human, shinigami and hollow, will perish. Only the birthing of a new king can prevent this."

"How do we birth a new king?" asked Ukitake in a soft, sad voice.

"The birthing of the new king is a process, the knowledge of which is given solely to Soutaichou…me. I will tell you the process and we must decide how best to achieve it."

He gave a deep sigh.

"This will not be an easy path, but we have no choice. First, we must decide upon a consort to bear the new king. That person may be male or female, because the process of birth is a different thing for the king. It is a gathering of power within the consort and a yielding of that power when it has grown sufficiently to maintain itself. It is like the human process of giving birth, but in the rebirth ritual, the power exits the consort and forms into the body of the new king. But it needs the body of the consort to contain it until it is safe for the king to emerge," explained Soutaichou, "The body of the consort will not change as human bodies do, as the power being housed in the consort's body replaces that person's own power for the duration of the rebirth ritual."

"What happens to the consort's own powers?" asked Hitsugaya, frowning.

"The consort's powers are sacrificed for the duration of the ritual…as is all connection to his or her zanpakutou. This is what creates the necessary space within the consort to hold the king's spirit energy."

"Damn…" muttered Zaraki, shaking his head, "Well, you can count me out for that!"

"Now…as to the qualifications. The consort must be taichou level…must be willing to sacrifice all powers and the connection with his or her zanpakutou for the duration of the ritual. And the most important factor…The consort must be virginal."

"But Soutaichou," said Ukitake, looking around, "There aren't any virgins among the taichous…I don't think…unless Hitsugaya…"

"No…" said Hitsugaya, shooting an angry glare at Ukitake, "I do not qualify."

"I don't know a damned one of us who will!" laughed Zaraki.

"Well then," Soutaichou went on, "We shall have to attempt purification of one of you."

"Purification?" queried Soi Fon.

Soutaichou nodded.

"A captain may be purified by bathing in the pool at the center of the King's Garden. The water there will purify the body, but the memory of the consort would be made a clean slate as well…"

"Would the consort regain his or her memory after?" asked Hitsugaya.

"If the completion of the rebirth ritual is successful, then, yes, the consort would regain memories along with the sacrificed power at the end of the process. But be warned, there are no guarantees the rebirth will be successful…or that all memories would be restored perfectly. It is a risk the consort must assume."

"But you say that if the taichou level consort is virginal, then there is no need for loss of memory in addition to the loss of powers," Byakuya said, not raising his eyes.

"Weren't you paying attention, Kuchiki?" Zaraki said, impatiently, "There aren't any virgin taichous…or taichou levels…right?"

"That is incorrect," Byakuya said softly.

All eyes turned to stare at the noble. He looked up at them warily.

"Weren't you married?" asked Soi Fon, frowning.

"I was married," Byakuya said, raising his eyes, "but due my wife's fragile health, we did not consummate our marriage."

The room went deathly still. Soutaichou's eyes met Byakuya's questioningly.

"Then will you offer yourself as consort?" he asked the noble quietly.

Byakuya took a steadying breath.

"As I have the least to lose in doing so, in that I will not be forced to lose my memory…I think it would be best for me to do so."

Soutaichou nodded.

"It is best if the consort is able to remember. It assists in the recovery of both consort and interim king after the rebirth ritual. If both are not able to remember, it makes the recovery process more difficult. I do warn you, however, that you may end up wishing you did not remember, Kuchiki Byakuya. Because in giving yourself over to this process, you must yield everything for the duration of the ritual. You must travel to the palace with the interim king and live there with him until the new king's birth. You must be able to accept yielding your powers, your connection with your zanpakutou, your identity as taichou and clan leader. And you will share this ritual with one you know, but who will not know you in return…one who has lost all sense of self, while involved in the rebirth ritual. Having your memory may become a burden that threatens your mission. Are you certain that you wish to do this, Byakuya?"

The noble met Soutaichou's eyes calmly.

"Hai, Soutaichou."

"Very well. Kuchiki Byakuya will act as consort for the rebirth ritual. Now, as for the interim king…"

Several hands rose among the taichous, but Soutaichou's glare made them quickly fall again.

"You must all understand. The situation is likely to grow dangerous during the ritual. We are already short several taichous and we are losing another to this ritual already. Therefore, I wish to choose a captain level fukutaichou or equivalent to act as interim king."

"Do we need another virgin?" asked Zaraki.

"No," said Soutaichou, "The reason for this is that the interim king must bathe in the waters in the King's Garden in order to receive and contain the former king's soul power. His body must slowly render the former king's power into a new reiatsu and place this reiatsu within the consort's body."

"And how does that work?" asked Shunsui.

"How do you think it works?" asked Soutaichou, glaring.

"Oho," chuckled, Zaraki, "looks like our virgin taichou won't be virgin for long."

There was a sharp click and the hiss of a flash step, then the clash of swords crossing.

"Enough!" shouted Soutaichou.

Byakuya and Zaraki stood, braced against each other, swords drawn and crossed.

"Go ahead," Byakuya said in a dead-calm voice, "Say that again and I'll cut your throat."

"As if you could!" Zaraki replied, pulling his weapon away and sheathing it.

Byakuya hesitated a moment longer, then returned his weapon to its sheath as well. Soutaichou's reiatsu flared dangerously, silencing both.

"I have already considered all of the qualified shinigami and there is one who stands out as the one most likely to be successful in this process."

He turned to Byakuya.

"It works out well, I think that you have worked together. Perhaps that will ease the discomfort of your mission. Byakuya, it is your duty to go now and collect the one who will act as the interim king and assist you in birthing the new Spirit King."

He paused, gazing into the noble's dark, guarded eyes.

"The one I have chosen to aid you in this mission…is Abarai Renji."


	2. The Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji prepare for the rebirth ritual and remove Byakuya's powers.

Byakuya waited until the rest of the squad members had settled into the barracks or returned home before calling Renji to his desk. The redhead's face was somber, still touched with sadness over the death of the royal family and the growing worries about what was going to happen. He hoped that Byakuya would abandon his usual closed-mouth nature and give him some news about what the taichous had been told about their situation. He looked up into the shadowed gray eyes and was stricken with the feeling that something bad was about to happen. On the surface, Byakuya looked as calm as ever, but Renji could feel the reiatsu boiling beneath the surface, threatening to ignite.

"I imagine that you are wondering what is happening and what will be done about the loss of the royal family."

"I remember Soutaichou saying something about an Interim King and a Consort. It seems pretty obvious what they're going to do, Taichou."

He hadn't meant to offend Byakuya, but the sudden flare of reiatsu told him he had stepped over a line. The problem for Renji was that he wasn't sure what he had done that was so offensive. He lowered his head apologetically and was surprised when Byakuya reached out and lifted his chin to meet the noble's eyes.

"Soutaichou has forbidden us to speak about the rebirth ritual with anyone but those directly involved in some way in the rebirth. I have been given leave to relay this information to you."

Huh? Does that mean I'm to be involved or…

"The loss of the royal family has caused our worlds to begin to destabilize. If we were to do nothing, then all shinigami, humans and hollows would slowly lose their powers and our worlds would collide, destroying all of them."

"Shit, Taichou! What do we do?" Renji asked breathlessly.

"The rebirth ritual will stop the decline of our worlds. But while the ritual takes place, our squads will be responsible for keeping order and making sure that the populace does not panic and go out of control. That is why Soutaichou has ordered that only us few should know the truth of what is happening. We must maintain order."

"Hai, Taichou, I understand…but…"

"While the squads work to keep order in the Seireitei, the Interim King and Consort must travel to the spirit dimension and be sealed into the palace."

"So then they make a child together?" Renji asked.

Something in the way Byakuya was looking at him made Renji feel quivery inside.

"The Interim King will bathe in the waters of purification in the King's Garden, then will receive the former king's reiatsu into his body from the King's Prism. His body will render the old king's reiatsu into a new reiatsu, which will be placed within the Consort's body through multiple acts of mating."

"Well…that doesn't sound too bad…"

Byakuya ignored him.

"As the reiatsu collects within the Consort, it will slowly stabilize and eventually it will emerge and form the new king. When that happens, the Interim King and Consort will have completed their duties and will return to the Seireitei with no further expectations."

"So…do you know who is going to be going to do this stuff, Taichou? Have they chosen an Interim King and Consort?" Renji asked.

"They have," Byakuya said.

Renji was unnerved by the touch of uncertainty in Byakuya's voice.

"It was necessary that the Consort be taichou level and that the person be virginal. The consort must sacrifice all powers and the connection with zanpakutou to make room within for the acceptance of the king's reiatsu. The Consort must also agree to travel to the spirit dimension and be sealed into the palace with the Interim King and to submit to the Interim King's need to transfer the rendered reiatsu through mating."

"So…who did they choose to do that?" Renji asked, his heart pounding strangely in his chest.

"I agreed to act as Consort," Byakuya said calmly.

"Wha..? You, Taichou? But…you said…"

"I was married, but because of my wife's poor health, we never consummated the marriage…so I am virginal."

"But…you said…mating…" Renji stammered.

"It is the way in which the reiatsu is transferred and does not require that the Consort be female. But the Interim King must be male…to distribute the rendered reiatsu."

"Whoa…wait a minute! Taichou…you mean you're going to go and stay with some stranger and have your first sexual experience be with someone you don't know or love? That's crazy! How can you agree to do that?"

He saw a moment…a flash of fear in Byakuya's eyes, then he closed them and bowed his head slightly.

"If I do nothing…they could possibly purify someone else with the waters in the King's Garden, but that reduces the chances of successful mating. It is best to have a virginal Consort and I was the only qualified taichou level shinigami."

"So…they are making you do this?" Renji asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"No, Renji, I chose to do this…because as the one with the best chance of success, I have a duty to assist in this."

"And having sex with some stranger? That's your duty too?" Renji asked, his reiatsu flaring.

He couldn't quite figure out why the thought of Byakuya doing this was making him so damned angry…

"I will not be with a stranger. The Interim King who was chosen is someone I know."

"Oh," Renji sighed, feeling a bit relieved, but still unusually agitated, "Well…Taichou…I hope it is someone who you…you know…like. It would be sad to have it be with someone you weren't on good terms with…"

"It does not matter how I feel about him, Renji. This is my duty. I am doing this to protect the Seireitei, my clan...Rukia…"

"And you think, just like that, you can have sex and have it mean nothing? Taichou…I know it's for the right reasons, but…I think you're going to find out that it won't be as easy as you think. Sex isn't just an act of mating, Taichou. It is more than that. I worry that you will go there and find out later that it wasn't as easy as you thought to give yourself to someone like that."

"Nothing of what I feel matters in this, Renji. This is simply necessary and there is no way around it, so, I feel I have no choice. I will do what is necessary and then I will return home. All that is taken away will be returned when my mission is complete."

"But you'll be away from home in a strange place…and separated from your powers, from your zanpakutou. Taichou…"

"Renji," said Byakuya with forced calm, "are you telling me that I shouldn't do this? Are you telling me that if it were you that you would choose differently?"

Renji went quiet for a moment.

"I…no…I think that because of the situation…I guess I would choose to do what I could to help."

"I know you would," Byakuya said, his voice becoming strangely soft, "and that is why I know that you will do your part in this as well. You have a strong sense of duty, as do I. And I know that, to protect the ones we love, you would do what is necessary…even though it might be unpleasant."

"Well…yeah, I would."

He sat, scratching the back of his neck and trying to think of something to say.

"Um, Taichou…what am I to do? Will I go as your guard or…"

"No one may enter the palace during the rebirth ritual except the Interim King and Consort."

"But you said I have a part in this…What am I going to do?"

Byakuya met his eyes squarely.

"It was decided that you would be the most suitable to act as Interim King," he said calmly.

Renji's eyes went wide and he caught his breath sharply.

"B-but, Taichou…T-taichou?"

His head spun, trying to cope with Byakuya's words.

"But I…I…I can't…" he stammered.

"You must. You are the one most likely to be successful in rendering the former king's reiatsu. Soutaichou used many tests to determine this."

Renji put a hand to his head and tried to calm the racing of his heart.

"I can't do that, Taichou. I can't just…do that…to you," he managed.

"You won't have to fight your instincts, Renji. When you bathe in the purification waters, you will emerge with no memory of your former life here. And the former king's reiatsu will drive your instincts. It will not be a concern to you."

"M-my memory will be…gone?" Renji said, moving his hand to his stomach and leaning forward, "Taichou, I think I'm going to be sick…"

He felt his heart skip when Byakuya's palm came to rest on his shoulder.

"Will I…ever be…myself again?" he asked weakly.

Byakuya nodded.

"When the new king emerges, we will regain what we have lost and will return here unharmed…and we will have stopped our worlds from colliding. Renji, I realize that this is too much to ask of you, but I hope you will be able to accept it as I have. I know that you are unnerved by the loss of memory and the fact that we will be engaging in intimacy, but…there really is nothing else we can do. You must see that."

"Taichou…I'm worried…for you and for me. Will you lose your memories too? Will we remember what we do…after…when we come back?"

Byakuya stared for a moment, then seemed to gather himself.

"Because I am virginal, I do not need purification. Therefore, I will not lose my memory. And to my knowledge, whatever occurs while we dwell in the palace will remain in our memories when we return."

He studied Renji for a moment.

"Have I answered all of your questions, Abarai fukutaichou?" Byakuya asked.

Renji paused, taking several deep, slow breaths.

"Just one more question, Taichou…" he said finally, "Taichou, I need to know honestly how you feel about having sex with me like that…just from a sense of duty. Is this really okay with you?"

Byakuya sighed and lowered his eyes.

"That is a pointless question, Abarai," he said quietly, "The only honest answer to that is that it has to be."

The words sounded sincere enough, but the dark gray eyes betrayed his uncertainty.

"I…will say, however, that it is a comfort that such actions will take place with one who I trust."

Renji knew better to push for more than that. He gave Byakuya what he hoped looked like a good-natured smile.

"So, uh, when do we have to go, Taichou?"

"We leave now. We take nothing. Soutaichou wants to keep this as private as possible for our sakes. Only the taichous will know our full mission."

Renji hadn't the heart to disillusion Byakuya, so he simply nodded and started to rise. He stopped and stared as Byakuya stood and removed his kenseiken, ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu, haori and wrist guards. Without them, he looked decidedly smaller, more slender and deceptively fragile.

"You will not bring your zanpakutou. After the memory loss, you will not be connected in any case, so it is best to leave it behind."

Byakuya turned and started for the door. Gazing back for a moment at the markers of his Taichou's status and two zanpakutou that rested in their stands, Renji turned to follow.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji swallowed hard as they passed into the palace and the new members of the royal guard sealed the entrance behind them. They walked through the empty halls, haunted by the memory of the carnage they had seen the day of the murders. With every step that carried them closer to the King's Garden, Renji's heart pounded harder and harder. He took calming breaths, but felt his heart pound even harder when Byakuya stopped in the throne room and picked up a large, beautiful, multicolored prism. They passed through the doors into the King's Garden and Byakuya turned back to close the doors. Renji felt as though his stomach was in knots as the doors were sealed and Byakuya turned to face him.

"The purification pool is this way," Byakuya said softly, "Come, Renji."

"Uh…Taichou, can't we…uh…wait a few minutes? An hour? Have dinner together or something?" he asked, wanting like crazy to slow things down.

Byakuya frowned uncertainly.

"Why would we wait?" he asked, "We need to begin as soon as possible. Our loved ones are waiting for us, Renji. Their safety is in our hands. There is nothing to be gained by waiting…and while we dwell here, there is no need for nourishment."

He held the prism in his hands and extended them.

"We need to remove my powers…so that I will be able to host the king's reiatsu," Byakuya said in a soft, uncertain voice.

Renji extended his hands and placed them on the prism. Both lowered their heads in concentration. The reiatsu around them rose sharply and Renji heard Byakuya bite back a soft, pained cry. Light shot out of the prism and surrounded his body, making it glow a bright blue. Byakuya winced as the power was slowly drawn out of him and sent into the prism. His breathing grew short and ragged and Renji could feel that he was shaking. The sick feeling was returning to his stomach. But as the light died and he prepared to ask if Byakuya was all right, the noble gave a sudden, pained gasp and dropped to the ground on his hands and knees. For just a moment, Renji caught a glimpse of intense fear and pain. Then calm retook his features and he pushed himself back so that he sat with his legs curled beneath him.

"Taichou…" Renji said softly, "are…are you okay?"

Byakuya nodded.

"I am fine," he managed, "It was just…sudden. That's all."

"D-do I have to…?"

"No," Byakuya assured him, "Your powers are needed for rendering the reiatsu."

"That doesn't seem quite fair, does it?" mused Renji.

Byakuya ignored him.

"Go now and bathe in the waters of that pool," he said, motioning to a shallow pool at the center of the garden.

Renji stared back at him for a moment.

"What is wrong, Renji?" Byakuya asked softly.

"Taichou…I…I'm sorry you have to do this. Really…I wish…that your first experience could be with someone you love. I know you don't think that matters…but I do."

His heart in his throat, he moved closer and sat down in front of Byakuya. The noble stared back at him questioningly. Breaking every known rule, Renji reached out and wrapped Byakuya in a warm embrace. The noble froze for a moment, looking deeply conflicted, then slowly relaxed into the embrace. He let Renji hold him for one long moment, then gently pulled away.

"Go now, Renji."

The redhead nodded solemnly and climbed back to his feet. He glanced back only once and saw an unreadable expression in Byakuya's eyes. Then he was at the water's edge and looking down, trying not to shake as he thought about what he had to do. Letting everything else fall away, Renji focused on the fact that this was for the ones they loved, for the worlds they protected, and slowly, step-by-step, he entered the pool.


	3. The Taking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rebirth ritual begins with an unpleasant shock for Byakuya.

Byakuya watched in silence as Renji stepped into the purification waters. As soon as his feet sank in, the water began to bubble around his ankles and a curious expression came over his face. Then he was moving forward, sinking in deeper and a mist rose around him so that he disappeared from Byakuya's sight. The sight was both a relief, in that he could finally have a moment to deal with the intense emotions sweeping through him without Renji noting his every change of expression, but it was also disturbing in that he had no certainty who he would be looking at when Renji emerged from the pool.

He decided to use the time to calm the racing of his heart. It had been racing madly ever since picking up the prism and having it strike him what he was about to do, what he had given up, and what would happen to him before he could return home. And then, there was Renji to consider…how sick he had looked upon learning what he had to do. Byakuya wondered briefly what had been more difficult for Renji…knowing what he would be responsible for doing…or the fact he would be doing these things with Byakuya. Despite the fact that they had grown more comfortable with each other since Aizen's betrayal, he doubted Renji had ever thought that he would be having sex with his taichou. And Byakuya had never felt an attraction to Renji…or an overwhelming urge to have sex with anyone.

"Taichou…I know it's for the right reasons, but…I think you're going to find out that it won't be as easy as you think. Sex isn't just an act of mating, Taichou. It is more than that. I worry that you will go there and find out later that it wasn't as easy as you thought to give yourself to someone like that."

And he couldn't say that Renji was wrong. He simply didn't know how he would feel. So he resolved not to concern himself with that until it became necessary for him to do so. But…he realized that might not be a very long time. As soon as Renji accepted the king's reiatsu from the prism, the rendering would begin…and he was uncertain how long it would then be before the Interim King was filled with the instinct to mate.

He pushed the sick feeling away and tried to release a little burst of reiatsu, then realized it was impossible as his powers were gone. And what that meant was beginning to really sink in. He was alone in the garden with what amounted to a powerful stranger and waiting for that stranger to attempt to have sex with him. A shiver went through him as he tried to force the thought away again.

But it was hard to think of anything else as his body shivered softly at the unusual feeling of emptiness. Not only were his powers gone, but Senbonzakura's voice was gone from his mind. It seemed suddenly colder and Byakuya wrapped his arms around his midsection, leaning forward and feeling the sick feeling returning. The intensity of the feeling of weakness without his powers and the lonely feeling of losing Senbonzakura set his heart racing again and it took several minutes to regain control.

He decided that it was useless to sit there worrying about it and climbed to his feet to take a walk around the gardens. He remained close to the purification waters so that when Renji emerged, he would be there. He distracted himself by noting the huge variety of flowers and trees in the garden, then studied the sky as the afternoon gave way to evening and the stars began to emerge. He decided that if it was going to happen soon, the darkness might be a good thing.

A chill went through him as he heard the bubbling sound begin to recede. He returned to the water's edge and stood quietly, waiting as Renji reappeared and walked back to meet him. He shivered softly as his eyes met the blank looking brown eyes and it struck him that Renji was essentially gone for the duration of their time in the garden. He felt an unexpected burning in his eyes as he reached for the prism and set Renji's hands on the side opposite his. Immediately, power flashed around them and slowly the king's reiatsu began to flow out of the prism. It lifted and wrapped around Renji like a shimmering golden curtain. He was beautiful like that, Byakuya thought…but beautiful in a very cold way, with the empty eyes and shaded features. He was nothing like the warm and brash fukutaichou he remembered and…and…cared for.

_I do care for him._

He cared for the Renji he remembered…the one who smiled and said good morning to him every day, the one who made his tea the way he enjoyed it, the one whose kido exploded half the time when he tried to use it, who would sleep all day if not forced to come to work, who sometimes dropped off to sleep while working at his desk…the one who had cared enough to plead with him about what he was doing…because…

_He is that kind of person._

But the one wrapped in the golden curtain was nothing like the Renji he remembered. His eyes were filling with hot, golden power, but his expression remained cold and empty. He must, Byakuya decided, have to focus so much of his energy on the rendering that he had nothing left for emotions…or maybe a soul king didn't need emotions…but how then could he rule wisely?

The light from the prism fell away and the curtain faded. Byakuya caught his breath sharply as he realized that something about Renji had changed. His skin was still tanned golden brown, but now the tattoos that marked his skin were as sparkling and golden as the curtain around him had been. He reeled as he noticed as well that the brown eyes that had looked into his so many times were golden as well. He stepped close to Byakuya, studying him for a moment, then handed him the King's Prism.

"You are my Consort," he said in an emotionless voice that bore little resemblance to Renji's.

"Hai, I am Kuchiki Byakuya."

"We have no need for names here. You are my Consort and I am your King. Do you understand your place?"

Byakuya froze at the coldness in that voice. It was a coldness he had heard over and over growing up and then it was poured into him and he used it with everyone. It was the way that a master spoke to his servants. Byakuya swallowed hard and stared.

"I asked you if you know your place."

"Hai, my lord," he said in a thick voice.

The sick feeling returned and became overwhelming. He tried to breathe through it, but found it impossible. His heart was racing too fast and his head was beginning to spin. He was vaguely aware of the other moving closer, but felt shock burst through him as a strong hand wrapped around his wrist and another took hold of his chin.

"They chose well, Consort. You will be acceptable for this task."

He started to pull away, but the hand around his wrist tightened and the one holding his chin reached down to untie the belt at his waist. He froze in place, forcing himself not to move as he was quickly deprived of his clothing.

It should have been easy for him to do, to stand unmoving like that as he was undressed. He had never been overly self-conscious and, he told himself, the king had the right to undress him at will. That was why he was here. He could say the words in his mind and he could force himself to stand still as his clothing was removed…and even as the blank looking golden eyes raked his body with a hungry glare.

But when the king's arms wrapped around his body and began to lower him to the ground, the embrace Renji had given him just before entering the pool came back to him with shattering force. It had been warm and caring and full of affection, nothing like these arms that held him just for the purpose of bringing him to the ground.

He was going to…

He couldn't even think it.

He couldn't bear to feel it.

It was like Renji had tried to tell him. It would have been difficult enough to surrender to those warmer arms that had held him before. This way was unbearable. He began to shake uncontrollably as he reached the ground and the king's glowing golden form rose up to block out the stars overhead.

He couldn't look into those cold emotionless eyes and…

But they were looking at him and the king's hand came to rest over his racing heart.

"Do not be anxious. I will be gentle with you."

The words did nothing to calm him. His head spun and his breath moved in and out too quickly. He was losing control and felt a cry rising in his throat. The king's eyes held his for a moment and then a feeling of dizziness passed over him and the scene around him faded. He could feel the strong hands working quickly, carefully preparing his body, but no longer had the ability to make his body react. He was screaming inside, but not able to move as the king finished preparing him and moved into position over him. He couldn't bear to meet those cold, emotionless eyes as the king pushed into him. He forced his head to turn aside and closed his eyes.

The king did not kiss him or touch him in any intimate way. He only entered him and waited as Byakuya's body adjusted. Then he moved in and out of the noble's unmoving body, slowly at first and then gradually faster. Byakuya felt the dizzy feeling increase and realized suddenly that he was holding his breath. He released it and tried to breathe in, but found it forced out again in a short, pained sob as his body reacted in a way that defied control. The sound didn't seem to register with the king. He continued the unforgiving motion for several long minutes before his body stiffened and pain exploded through Byakuya as the first of the rendered reiatsu was forced into his body. He forced himself to remain still as the king emptied himself, then withdrew and sat up next to him.

"You will adjust to the feel of the reiatsu entering your body. It was a shock this time because the feeling is new."

He rose and walked away, leaving Byakuya lying naked on his back, looking up into the stars. He waited until he was sure he was alone, then rose and walked to the bathing pool on the far side of the purification pool. He stood under a small waterfall, letting the icy water wash away the feel of those strong hands, the memory of the invasive touches, everything that tore at his beleaguered mind and threatened to overwhelm him. He tried to think back to the early days of his training as a young noble…but he had never been prepared for feeling like this…used, nameless, worthless…

No matter how long he remained in the water, the feeling would not leave him. He still felt those hands and the cold eyes and the invasion of his body. The dizziness rose up in him again and nausea passed through him. He staggered to the edge of the pool and collapsed onto his hands and knees, retching…but even when he had loosed everything, the scent of crushed grass and flowers refused to leave his skin.

He walked back and picked up his white yukata, slipping it on and looking around, trying to decide where to lie down for the night. It was ice-cold in the garden, but he hated the thought of sleeping in the bedrooms of the palace, where the ghosts of the murdered royal family seemed to be all around. He didn't know where the king had gone and he only wished he knew so that he might avoid that other.

But it wasn't as though the contact had been unexpected or forceful. The king had been deliberately gentle and had not left a mark or bruise anywhere on his body. And yet, every inch of him felt pain. It might not be physical, but it was every bit as real…every bit as deep.

He forced the pain away and found a spot beneath a small sakura tree that seemed somewhat sheltered by the surrounding bushes and plants. He settled with his back against the tree, his eyes slowly scanning the darkened garden and the trees. He shivered softly beneath the too-thin yukata, but tuned the feeling out. He remained awake for several hours before dropping down and curling slightly to fend off the cold. The intense emotions had left him drained and it was a relief to give in to the drowsiness, to drift off and try to forget where he was, who he was now, what he was doing there. He slept soundly, despite the cold and woke, surprised to find that a warm cloak had been placed carefully over him as he slept.

_XXXXXXXXXX_

Byakuya slipped out from underneath the warmth of the cloak and rose with the first touches of light. He walked slowly back to the palace doors and opened them, passing into the large throne room. He went out the other set of doors and followed the corridors, looking into the rooms and studying the colors, the furniture, anything and everything that could distract him, that could help him bide his time so that he wouldn't think about the next time the king would come to him.

There shouldn't have been anything frightening about it. Of course, the first time would have been the worst. Not knowing what to expect had made him shaky and uncertain. The next time, he would proceed more calmly, relaxing his body and accepting the invasive touches with grace and poise. Because he was, by doing this, serving the needs of all three worlds. He was doing this for the good of the clan, for the good of his loved ones. And yet, some part of him doubted. That part of him nagged at him and warned him that it wasn't likely to get much easier, especially given that the one doing this to him was Renji…

But then…it really wasn't Renji exactly…

He sighed in confusion.

He wondered if perhaps it would have been better if the other had been a stranger. It would have been frightening as well…but there was a tearing down of walls that had happened after Aizen Sosuke's betrayal…a loosening, a giving of trust. And that trust had been honored and respected by both. Although the king had not been cruel and had, in fact, seen to his comfort as much as he was able, the kindness and warmth that Renji had always exuded was gone. There was no familiarity in these eyes and there was no mercy.

The king saw Byakuya as a vessel for the king's reiatsu, important to keep sufficiently well to bear the new king, but not important enough to grant a name…or any sort of affection. But nobles were a class that taught their children to refrain from great shows of affection…to refrain from great shows of any emotion. He had been carefully trained to shut down his own emotions until it was second nature. He wondered sadly if there was any portion of Renji that felt that shutting down as he had growing up. It had hurt to learn that coldness. And it had hurt him even more to inflict it on others, but he had been forced to harden to it, to accept it as his noble forebears had…and he had, on occasion, been that cold to Renji.

So perhaps he was getting what he deserved. Perhaps he deserved to become nameless, to be reduced to a vessel meant to contain something of value, but not to be of value himself. Perhaps he deserved to have his first sexual experience be filled with the same coldness as all things noble. He was, after all a noble. And he had learned early on about the ugliness that lived beneath that pretty surface.

Yes…he deserved this.

But unfortunately, that didn't make it any easier to bear. It didn't give him any tools for handling the numbing shock, the deep emotional scarring, the endless ache, the desire to scream…and it couldn't help him deal with the feeling of betrayal as the cold emotionless voice rose up behind him again and those hands took hold of him, heedless of where they were or what he might be doing.

_It isn't Renji. He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't want this and when he remembers, he won't want to forgive himself, so I must be careful not to show how much it hurts. I don't want him to remember that. I don't want him to know what pain existed._

He lay calmly beneath the body of the king and turned his face away.

_It is better this way. It is better that he never knows._


	4. Easing the Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya comes to an understanding with the Interim King.

Byakuya woke to find that he had been moved to a soft, comfortable bed, somewhere within the palace and he couldn't help but be somewhat bolstered by the fact that if the king truly had no feelings for him, he simply would have left him lying on the floor in the room he had been in when the last mating had occurred. So the king did have some basic concern for his welfare, most likely because of their interdependence…not true affection. It wasn't much, but it was something.

He started to get up, but felt a pain move through his midsection and paused for a moment, breathing calmly through the sensation until it eased and he could move again. He was certain now that the process was working, because he felt power forming inside him. He knew better than to use any of it. To do so would be to steal power and life from the developing king. His job was simply to carry the rendered reiatsu and to allow his body to stabilize it so that it could later emerge and take the form of the new king. Still, it was a small comfort to not feel quite so empty.

He climbed to his feet and resumed his slow, methodical exploration of his new surroundings, sighing at how it reminded him of the large, impressive homes of some of the nobles. His own manor was much less grandiose. It had never been the way of the Kuchiki family to pour their finances into markings of splendor. The house itself at Kuchiki Manor was large and it was elegantly furnished, but unlike the palace, his manor was more about physical and spiritual comfort than about displays of wealth. What gave Kuchiki Manor its unique beauty was the large garden and the forested areas…and the lake and meadow areas beyond. The simple truth being that nature provided a great deal of beauty and one didn't need to augment it with displays of material wealth. It wasn't, he realized, the most popular viewpoint among noble families, but in addition to walking their own path in life, the Kuchiki nobles were resolved not to allow others to interfere with the estimation of self-worth, and it wasn't the having of wealth that was important anyway. It was taking what was given and using it in proper ways, to support the well being of the society that honored them, to improve what they could, while realizing that they were not in control of everything and to pave the way for their children and their children's children.

Byakuya sighed softly as he considered how he had never really thought before about what it would be like to have children. It probably wasn't important now, as the life he was beginning to feel growing inside him was not his own child. And despite carrying it, he would have no part in the new king's future. Once that life entered the world, his usefulness here would end and he would be returned to the Seireitei to resume the life he had left. And while that was a light at the end of this dark tunnel, he couldn't help but wonder how he would resume his life…emptied of the king's reiatsu, and removed from this place…Would he be able to forget and move on?

He realized that was a dangerous line of thinking and abandoned it

He focused instead on making himself familiar with the endless rooms and hallways of the palace. He would never in his life have another opportunity to experience it this way, so it made sense to be thorough in his exploration.

There was one room in particular that he was seeking with purpose. As much as the Kuchiki's were charged with the other duties given to the nobles by the Spirit King, they also served as the vault for knowledge and history in the Seireitei. The archive at Kuchiki Manor was second only to the one that existed somewhere in this place. If he was going to be trapped within the palace and in need of distraction, the library would be the greatest comfort to him. He was an avid reader, both of the drier historical texts and the livelier recreational outpourings of myth and legend. He especially loved the myths relating to the stars and marveled how, wherever he went, different groups of people…shinigami…human…hollow, all had their own understanding of those calm lights that lit their skies at night. The tales were many and so varied that even in the time he had been clan leader, he hadn't made a dent in the mythical writings there. But those, he could peruse at his own pace. As he would never return here, it would be enjoyable…breathtaking even to see what treasures this library held.

He had just spotted the library when the king appeared suddenly in front of him. Suddenly, his thoughts scattered and the darkness inside began to return. He wondered at himself for allowing such dark feeling to hold him so tightly, so tightly that the mere sight of this other could send everything plunging into the abyss. But then, there was only one reason that the king had for seeking him out.

And suddenly, he didn't want to exist for only that reason. For some reason, he wanted his existence here to have more meaning than that. It was stupid of him to think that way, of course. What more meaning could his life have than saving the colliding worlds? What greater purpose could a noble life have than bringing forth the next king? This was a relatively short period of his life, considering…so it wasn't so much to ask that he stay here and give himself unselfishly to this task.

But he had never for a moment thought that something like this would be asked of him. He knew he was unique among the nobles for being chosen to do this. It was an honor. And so being, it was something he shouldn't shrink from.

But as that strong hand settled around his wrist…as he was taken down onto the floor, somehow the honor seemed lost. He caught himself holding his breath again and released it, trying to ignore the sudden revulsion he felt at the touch of those hands, at the glare of the golden eyes he refused to meet. He swallowed hard and turned his head aside, trying to focus on the sight of the library, only steps away and waiting for him to explore it.

He had almost made peace with what was happening, had almost disappeared into thoughts of the library, when all at once a hand took hold of his face and turned his eyes to meet the golden eyes of the king. As their eyes met, the king began to enter him. And suddenly all thought fled except one.

_I cannot do this._

And before he knew what was happening, he was struggling against the hands that held him down, pushing forcefully at the body that held his trapped. He twisted and started to pull free, then felt a flash of the king's power and dropped to the floor unable to move. He waited for the king to admonish him for the way he had reacted, but he merely turned back to preparing, moving into position, sinking into Byakuya's immobilized body again. The one comfort he had left was that he could move enough to close his eyes. And this time, the king did not try to force him to make eye contact.

He couldn't do that. He couldn't look into the king's eyes while they were together like that. Because when he looked into the king's eyes, he still saw Renji. But Renji had ceased to exist when they arrived and he wouldn't return until their work here was done. So he closed his eyes and let his mind wander back to thoughts of the worlds and their mythologies, of pages and pages of shining heroes and beautiful heroines who fought their enemies with valiant hearts and whose lives actually meant something.

He realized suddenly that the king had stopped moving and he opened his eyes. The golden eyes were looking down at his face and one hand reached out and touched his cheek. It sent a chill through him, but he knew struggle was useless, so he lay quietly, wondering when the king would leave him…when he could go and bury himself in the books that were only steps away, waiting to ease his pain. He was not only unprepared when the king spoke to him, he was wholly unprepared for the question.

"Why are you crying?"

He hadn't even realized…

But he was. The king's fingers were wet where they had touched him and he could feel now that he was shaking and that more tears were falling. But how could he explain it? This powerful, cold being couldn't possibly understand, because if he did then he would never be doing what he was doing.

"I asked you why you are crying."

He didn't trust his voice, so he merely looked up into the deep golden eyes and forced his body to calm, forced the tears to stop. He freed a hand and brushed them away, then summoned the strength forced into him by the years of his grandfather's teachings. This was his king, his superior. It didn't matter at all that he looked like Renji. It didn't matter how Byakuya felt about what was happening. What mattered was his obedience.

"I am sorry. Please continue."

The words were unbearable, but they were also necessary. And as much as he hated what was happening, the alternative to this was the end of all things. It wasn't, he told himself again, so much of a sacrifice. The noble families were sworn to serve the king. And the king could ask anything of any of them at any time. All nobles knew this. This is what his king had asked of him and it was his duty to act accordingly. He looked up into the golden eyes, waiting. They stared back at him with something approaching curiosity. Then, a warm palm settled onto his cheek.

"I want to understand why you are in pain," the king said, "You agreed to be my Consort, did you not?"

"I did."

"And you knew what would be expected when you made that choice, did you not?"

"I knew."

"And I have done nothing to cause you injury?"

"No."

"And I have been gentle with you."

"Yes."

"Then why are you in such pain?"

He knew better than to deny it. It was a useless lie when faced with the fact that the king was quite capable of seeing through any deception.

"Although I know this is important, my heart is not in this."

"So while your mind is resolved and your body compliant, your heart is resistant."

"Yes."

"And this is what caused you to shed tears?"

Could he really not understand?

"Yes…On occasion, the body will weaken…will surrender to the will of the heart…and tears will fall. I apologize for my weakness in allowing that to happen."

The golden eyes continue to look down into his curiously.

"I do not understand matters of the heart. My task is to provide the new king's power. It is your job to give the new king his heart and conscience."

"What?"

"You mean to say that you do not understand why you are here?"

Byakuya stared.

"I am here to assist in the birth of the new king."

"That is not the whole of your mission."

"I am to receive the rendered reiatsu and my body will stabilize it. Once I am filled and it has stabilized, the new king will emerge."

"But as much as my job is to render the reiatsu…yours is to stabilize it…and the reiatsu will not stabilize properly unless your mind, body and heart are accepting. You are threatening our mission."

Byakuya closed his eyes and released his breath in a soft sigh.

"How is that?" he asked.

"Your pain is interfering with the stabilization process."

Now he felt a touch of anger.

"So…you are asking me not to feel anything?"

"I am charging you with the responsibility of addressing your pain. If you do not release yourself from it, then the mating will not be successful."

"I am not unwilling to do this, but…I don't know how to stop it."

"Would you prefer to have your senses dulled when we mate?"

Byakuya stared in surprise.

"You concern yourself with my pain?"

"As I said, we will not be successful if your pain interferes. So we must ease it. If I know what is causing you pain, then I can address it."

It made sense.

"I don't wish to be nameless."

Not that his name mattered, but it was affecting him.

The king blinked slowly and nodded.

"I would prefer that we share a bed."

Another short nod.

"And I would like to be kissed and touched with some amount of affection."

The next thing he knew, he was being lifted and carried back down the hallways and corridors to the bedroom. The king set him down in the bed and settled next to him, leaning over him.

"Show me how you would like to be kissed."

Byakuya looked back at the king questioningly.

"If I am to ease your pain, I need to know what brings you comfort," the solemn voice explained.

And it seemed to Byakuya that it had become somewhat less cold.

"Show me how you would like to be kissed," the king said again.

He thought back to his days with Hisana. They had kissed and it had been pleasant. But their kisses had been light and tentative…and the king hadn't asked how he had been kissed, but how he wanted to be kissed. So he reached up and put his hands on the king's face and pulled him closer, so their bodies were touching. Then he lifted his head slightly and met the warm lips tentatively at first, and then with increasing pressure. The king merely accepted his kisses at first and Byakuya could feel that he was taking in what it was like, so he opened his mouth and thrust his tongue into the king's heated mouth, and he felt the warmth of their kissing flood his body. And soon, the king's lips began to respond to his, and his tongue invaded Byakuya's mouth, stroking his warmly, then moving on to touch and explore the surfaces and depths. And he felt himself growing breathless and inside, something was happening.

"Our kissing has made you aroused."

He couldn't help but smile and it would do him no good to deny it. So he merely nodded and enjoyed the continuance of their kissing.

"Do you want to be touched with affection now?"

A laugh escaped him.

"How can you touch me with affection? Do you even understand it?"

"No…it is your task to instruct me."

"Well, to touch someone with affection, you have to feel affection first. It isn't difficult for me because before you were the king, you were Abarai Renji."

"And you were affected by him."

"Well, perhaps not sexually, but I do feel affection for Renji, so when I look at you, I feel like I am close to him."

"Renji felt affection for you as well…and he was often sad because you would not express it to him."

Byakuya sighed.

"I know that."

"And yet you did nothing about it?"

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because it is not the way of the nobles to express deep emotion."

"And yet you are aware that not showing you emotions can cause pain. You knew it caused him pain that you would not express more and you know that it is painful when I do not express affection for you. So why then do the nobles teach their children to do something that causes them pain?"

Byakuya stared in surprise at the question.

"I don't know," he said softly.

The questions ceased then and the king began kissing him again and this time he entered more slowly. And his hands touched Byakuya's face with tenderness. Then one slipped down between them and wrapped around his thickened member, sliding up and down his length and encouraging his body to move. He grew breathless again and dizzy, but this time, the feeling was a pleasant one. Something was happening between them…a bond was forming, a connection opening. He had never felt anything like it. He sank into the kisses hungrily now and moved in heavy thrusts against the king's body. And this time, he felt like he had begun to fall over the edge of a cliff. He lost the ability to breathe, to move, to do anything…except to feel the hum of life in his body again as hot seed erupted and spilled out between them…as the king's body pulsed again and again, filling him with the new king's reiatsu and moving things forward.

And after the release of pressure, that warm mouth met his repeatedly, and their hearts continued to beat at that rapid pace.

"Renji!"

He didn't know why he said it…why it had felt so natural to release it with such affection. He stopped for a moment and looked up into the golden eyes, hoping he hadn't done damage. They were observing him closely.

"I am sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You were expressing affection for the soul whose body I am using. This has eased your pain. That is a good thing."

"It doesn't matter to you that my feelings are for Renji?" he asked softly.

"It is Renji's body. It is understandable that you would connect with the one you know."

"But when I said his name like that, I wasn't thinking of his body. What made me say his name was that I was thinking of his heart…his affection…all of the affection he ever showed me."

"And you are falling in love with Renji's heart?"

Byakuya frowned uncertainly.

"I'm afraid that I don't know the answer to that."

"Well, perhaps it will become clear to you when he returns."

"Perhaps…"

The king started to pull away, but Byakuya placed a staying hand on his arm. The king looked back at him questioningly.

"It would ease my pain if you would stay," he said quietly.

The king gazed at him for a moment, nodded briefly and settled down next to him. Moments later, Byakuya turned and curled into his arms.

"Good night, my lord," Byakuya said softly.

"Good night, Byakuya."

The smile didn't leave his lips even after he fell asleep in the king's arms.


	5. The Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya faces devastating circumstances that threaten the rebirth process.

Byakuya surprised himself by leaving the palace without returning to the library. The return of some sense of equilibrium left him longing for fresh air and the smell of sakura, so he walked back down the hallways, listening to the soft echoes of his footsteps and passed through the throne room doors into the King's Garden. To say it was a garden was a misnomer. The expanse of color and life went on for miles in every direction and included most of the plants and flowers he recognized and many he had never seen before.

He followed numerous pathways, never losing his way, always drawn on by the curious sights, sounds and fragrances, by the feel of dirt and grass under his bare feet, by the touch of soft fern against his skin. Everything was alive and beautiful, and to walk in this place brought back a feeling of strength…of being alive.

Still, even beneath his new contentment, he couldn't help but long for home, for his work in the sixth division, for walks on his own lovely grounds. It might lack much of the foliage in this place, but his own home had a distinctive feel to it, one carefully and fastidiously grown and maintained under Byakuya's own direction. It was a task he need not have concerned himself with. There were plenty of capable gardeners and planners, but given the amount of time he spent there, it meant a great deal to him that it be a place of peace and comfort. It was there to restore and rejuvenate him after long hours of work. It was designed to his particular tastes and it had very specific scents and spiritual markers. This place was more massive and too widely varied. It was meant for the all-powerful monarch, whose ability to experience and appreciate it was more developed than Byakuya's…and that was as it should be. The king, after all, oversaw everything. His mind would enjoy being occupied by this place.

Byakuya stopped to admire a hummingbird lighting on a nearby branch and was suddenly touched by the most unusual of sensations. It started as a tingling sensation deep within the core of his body and radiated slowly outward. The feeling was warm and timid and searching. It touched his senses and paused, then he felt a soft stirring. It was something akin to what he had heard described by women with child as when the baby first moved, but not yet being a physical creature, it instead played along the lines of Byakuya's own spirit, touching and searching, bonding with this other who shared that same body. He let his own life force touch the other and felt the warm flare of affection and acceptance, the feel of gratitude for what he was yielding to bring life to this other. He let himself drop down beneath a plum tree and let the emotions wash over him. It was an exquisite feeling that he had never experienced before.

And now that the life force within him had become sentient, he connected with it and felt a deep desire to see to its protection and growth. It was a great responsibility and he was determined to see to it with all of his heart.

He dropped onto his back and looked up into the blue sky, watching quietly as the puffs of clouds crawled across, swirling and changing as they moved. And he thought about how people too were changed by what they moved through…through the good times and bad, through times that amazed and held deep wonder and the times that tested the soul and left it weary and tired.

"Are you enjoying the scenery here, Byakuya?" asked the king.

He wasn't surprised at the king's presence. As the amount of reiatsu he carried increased, he was able to sense where the king was. He sat up and nodded silently, then settled into the king's arms, resting against him comfortably and still gazing up at the sky.

"I do enjoy the gardens," he said finally, "Thank you for asking."

"I am improving in my ability to help you find contentment, then?" the king went on.

"Hai," agreed Byakuya, closing his eyes for a moment, "I have no complaints. You have been quite accommodating."

"But I have a question to ask you."

Byakuya turned to meet the golden eyes.

"I wish to know if it would be acceptable to you if we were to make love even though there is no reiatsu to place."

The question caught him by surprise.

"You…wish to…"

"I wish to bring the two of us pleasure. Since you explained affection and kissing, I find myself pleased at the thought of it."

Byakuya lowered his eyes respectfully.

"I am here to serve you. I will do as you wish, my lord."

The golden eyes fixed on his.

"I did not ask if you were willing. I asked if you desired this."

Byakuya looked up at him.

"Desire is not a need. And as a noble, I must attend to what is needed. We need to complete the ritual, but our own pleasure is simply a 'want,' and must be resisted."

The golden eyes flared softly with thought.

"You still do not answer the question I asked you, but we will return to that in a moment. First, I must tell you that your view of desire is mistaken."

Byakuya furrowed his brow softly.

"How is that?" he asked.

"Desire is the heart speaking its need to you. Desire is the need of the heart, just as food and drink are needs of the body. Do you understand?"

It was so different from what he had been taught…

"You are not like other nobles, Byakuya," the king told him softly, "I know this because the former king's reiatsu whispers its thoughts to me. You were meant to be as you are. You were meant to differ. You were meant to lead them. And you were meant to change them with the employment of your heart and conscience."

"So, I have a destiny?" he asked.

"You have many purposes. But it is your choosing whether you achieve these or not."

He paused and let his fingers slide through the silken lengths of the noble's fine hair. Byakuya sat calmly, uncertain of the intent…whether it was meant to entice him or merely to acknowledge the bond between creator and creation.

"I must ask you again, Byakuya. Do you desire that we should make love when we are not placing the reiatsu?"

"I do not wish to hurt you by rejecting you," he answered quietly, "but I am not in love with you."

"I am aware of that. I was offering you pleasure, not love."

"I understand," Byakuya answered calmly, "but lovemaking includes the word 'love' for a reason. It is something that should be based on love between beings."

"So because you are not in love with me, you do not desire me, even though I reside within one you love?"

Byakuya froze, staring.

"I…"

"You think about Renji more than you think about most other things, Byakuya."

"I think about Renji because I long for home…and Renji is a part of the home I know. I…"

"Answer carefully Byakuya. I know the content of your thoughts. And you think deeply on Abarai Renji. You think about the way he looks, the way he speaks and acts…the things he has done. And you spend much time considering what you find to be beautiful about him."

"I miss him."

"Would you like for him to emerge?" the king asked.

Byakuya caught his breath and a deep ache passed through his heart.

"No…" he whispered, "No, I…cannot see Renji until this is over."

He felt the king's eyes studying him.

"You long for him yet you choose not to fulfill that need of your heart."

"Because to see him would only make me long for him even more."

"Because you have fallen in love with him?"

He couldn't answer…

"Tell me what you long for…"

It was growing hard to breathe again. He didn't want to do this…but the king had asked for an answer…

"I want to go home. I want to wake up in my own room, to rise and dress for work, to share breakfast with my sister, to walk slowly to work, breathing in the fresh air. I want to walk through the doors to my division and sit down at my desk and five minutes later have Renji burst in, cursing his 'lateness' even though he is perfectly on time. I want to hear him greet me and to taste the tea the way only he makes it. I want to feel his fingertips touch my arm as he turns to leave. I want to sit quietly, working and feeling his reiatsu…to feel his eyes when he looks up…to feel his desire to know if I am all right or if I need something…anything. And when the day ends, I want his parting words to stay with me as I walk the cooler path home and settle into my own bed again. These are my desires."

"But do you desire more of him?"

"Why are you asking me this?" Byakuya asked uncertainly.

The king gazed at him solemnly.

"I think you are not ready to address these desires," he said, leaning forward to kiss Byakuya's forehead, "So I will leave you this task to complete before you return home. I want you to know the contents of your heart, to know your desires and be able to speak them."

He rose and turned away.

"The reiatsu will be rendered by sunset. I look forward to seeing you then."

He did not wait for an answer, but disappeared in a flash step, leaving Byakuya beneath the tree.

He stretched out on his back, looking up into the sky and thinking about the king's words.

_Why is Renji so much in my thoughts? Is it really because I am here…far from home and thoughts of Renji comfort me? Or is there something deeper?_

He thought of how it felt when the king lay next to him…how when he closed his eyes, he could feel Renji's presence. He thought about how he caught himself studying the golden tattoos and longing to see them in their characteristic black again. And he thought it would be pleasant to see all of them…the way it was when the king was undressed in his presence. But he was clear on wanting it to be Renji's black markings, his warm reiatsu, his smiling, friendly personality. Yes…being away from home did make him realize an attraction for Renji. He wasn't certain at all when it had begun or how long it had been there beneath the surface. It was nothing he had recognized before, but here…away from the weight of his other stations and responsibilities, he could see that he had indeed been gravitating toward Renji.

But was it love?

Where was the line between affection and love?

He remained beneath the tree wondering until the sun began to set and he knew it would soon be time for him to join the king again. As he began to rise, a sharp pain in his midsection made him pause and breathe a few slow breaths. He felt dizzy and overly warm, but decided that it might have been too much sunlight. Turning toward the palace, he shook off the heavy drowsiness he was beginning to feel and tried to force down the apprehension he still felt when he thought about lying with the Interim King. He might, he decided, feel more comfortable with his situation, but that didn't make the situation a good one…just more bearable. It made his task easier to carry out, but that did not mean he enjoyed it. It still felt somehow wrong to send his body to a place his heart would not follow. He couldn't fall for the king…because, he realized suddenly, his heart did not desire that. But did that mean that it did desire Renji?

He noticed suddenly that it had begun to grow dark and it seemed he had slowed in his walking more than he realized. He was hot and fatigued, still dizzy and weary. And even as he tried to move faster, a feeling of unease swept over him and he felt the reiatsu within him flutter. He stopped and placed a hand on his abdomen. He could feel the reiatsu fluctuating uncomfortably.

Another sharp pain made him catch his breath. He felt the sweeping reiatsu of the king reaching out, searching for him and he tried to reach out in response, but the pain in his abdomen flared and sharpened.

He lowered himself down onto the ground so that he wouldn't fall and lowered his head, trying to slow his breathing. The reiatsu inside him was crying out in fear. He felt it as sharply as if it was his own. He touched the reiatsu with his life force and tried to understand what was happening, then was hit with an overwhelming rush of fear and pain.

He dropped onto his side, wrapping his arms around his midsection and breathing slowly. The heat in his body was nearly at the point of being unbearable. He felt sweat breaking out on his skin and his heart was pounding too fast, too lightly. His vision was fading and he was losing touch with the growing reiatsu. The garden was fading away and he felt himself sinking into a dark, quiet place inside.

A distant voice reached him, and he felt the touch of cool hands on his face. He heard his name and felt reiatsu searching his body. He was lifted and carried at flash step speed back to the palace. He shivered as he was placed in the bed and his body made contact with the cold sheets. Blankets were pulled over him and healing reiatsu flared around him. He reached down inside and latched on to the growing reiatsu, pulling it close and surrounding it with his life force. It shuddered and pulsed fitfully, then inexplicably, it began to slowly fade.

Panic rose up inside and as he felt the healing reiatsu swirl around him, he suddenly became aware that it was focused, not on the life growing inside of him, but on his own life force. There was a dizzying moment of uncertainty, then a calm voice sounded in his mind.

"Let go."

_I can't…_

His heart raged at the thought. He was charged with stabilizing this reiatsu…with bringing the new king to life. He could not fail in doing that. And, he realized, it was more than that. He couldn't let go of what he had felt before in the gardens, that feeling of being one with the small life growing inside. It didn't matter that the life wasn't fully formed or that they could try again. He had touched a mind, an inteliigence…one that had reached out to him and connected with him. He couldn't lose that…

"You cannot save him."

And yet he had to try…

He held on to the retreating reiatsu, straining against the awful feeling of loss that was building inside. He ignored the king's repeated warnings to release it. He wasn't going to let go…

"Byakuya…if you do not let go, then you will only join him in death. We can make another attempt…but not if you die with him. You must remember our mission. You must act to save yourself or we will fail. Once we are sealed in the garden, I can mate with no other bring forth the king. We can try until we are successful, but if you die, I will die, and your Renji, too, and our attempt to bear the king will fail."

He felt the sensation of hanging on to the edge of a cliff…with a life held in one hand and his own fate suspended on a hand that was slipping free. The king's words cut him, but the idea of failing to bring forth the king was a greater burden. He reached out to the fading other, the one that had been with him, that had connected with his heart, that wanted so much to live. He wrapped his heart around the tiny spark of life and released a burst of affection and regret. He released the contents of his heart, pouring it into the dying reiatsu, sharing in its pain and the feeling of being lost.

His hold on that tiny speck of life loosened and he felt the reiatsu pulse beneath his own. It was with him for one moment longer, long enough to swell with gratitude and longing, then it slowly dropped away and disappeared.

He felt himself beginning to fall, to disappear as well. He couldn't feel his body or his life force any more. He couldn't sense the king or feel if he was still in bed…or if he had died and his spirit had broken free. He was lost and alone, unanchored and spinning away. He began to sink into the darkness, to disappear beneath the surface of a sea of calm and quiet. He knew what he was feeling and his heart raged against it.

If he was lost…

He took three worlds with him…

He knew the king reached for him and he reached back…

Slowly, something broke through all of the darkness and caught him as he fell away. It was a single word…in a voice that was loving and achingly familiar.

_Taichou…_


	6. Surfacing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renji returns to help Byakuya cope with a devastating loss.

"Taichou…"

He could feel that he was back in bed again. His body still shook with fever and he felt weak and tired. He felt a cool, wet cloth wash the heat away from his face and throat and heard that warm voice again.

"I'm going to take care of you. Just relax and try to sleep."

"Renji?"

He fought against the weight that held his eyes closed. Slowly, the heavy eyelids rose. He was sure he couldn't be seeing what he was seeing.

Black tattoos…

Warm eyes that were large and brown and filled with concern…

But the light, respectful touches on his skin were nothing like the touches of the king. While the king's touch was always gentle, it always insisted. These touches offered.

"Renji," he sighed, letting his eyes fall closed again.

He was vaguely aware of someone moving closer, kneeling on the bed beside him. He let everything fall away and sank into a deep sleep. He wasn't certain how long it lasted, but as it receded, he reached out tentatively and his hand found another that twitched softly, then the fingers laced lightly into his.

"How are you feeling, Taichou?" Renji's voice asked.

He didn't want to open his eyes. He was afraid it would be a dream, that he wasn't feeling what he thought he felt.

"If I open my eyes again, will you still be with me…Renji?" he whispered.

The warm hand tightened on his.

"I'm going to stay with you, Taichou. I'll stay with you until you are well again…until…"

Byakuya forced his tired eyes open met the dark brown ones wearily.

"I know I failed to carry the king's reiatsu, Renji. I felt it leave me," he said quietly.

"Hai, but the king assured me that you will be able to begin the process again."

His eyes closed against the darkness that rose up around him at the words. He knew they were meant to comfort. There was no way that Renji could know.

"That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it?" Renji said apologetically, "I'm sorry, Taichou. I know it must be difficult…"

"I will be fine," he assured the redhead calmly, "and you said nothing wrong. You are right in your estimation that the king and I will be able to begin the process again."

"But that doesn't change the fact that you feel the loss…I don't know what that's like, but I know what I see when you look at me."

_I will leave you this task to complete before you return home. I want you to know the contents of your heart, to know your desires and be able to speak them._

He thought he understood the request now…

"It was…deeply painful," he said, his voice tentative, "but it wasn't physical pain so much."

It was all he could manage.

Renji nodded in understanding. He wanted to say more, but he didn't dare push Byakuya when he could read the signs of strain so clearly. It was enough that he had forced the words out. That alone was something deeply unexpected. Renji sensed a need for him to gain more distance. He ran the wet cloth over the noble's face and throat again, then sat back and squeezed his hand again.

"You should sleep some more, Taichou," he suggested.

Byakuya looked up at him uncertainly.

"Will you…be here…when I wake?" he asked softly.

Renji nodded.

"I will be here for as long as you need me, Taichou."

_Need, not want. So carefully stated._

He surmised that once he was judged ready to begin the process again, then Renji would disappear and the king would return.

"Will you…" he began, but he stopped himself before he could finish the request.

"What Taichou?" Renji asked.

_I want you to know the contents of your heart, to know your desires and be able to speak them._

But he couldn't move closer to Renji now…not while he was acting as King's Consort. His body belonged to the king until the new king was birthed. And even if not for that…there was no knowing how Renji would respond to him. What if Renji wasn't able to love him in return? In his current state, his heart was too exposed, too vulnerable. Rejection in his weakened state would be crushing. No, any opening of his heart had to wait until this process had ended. To reach out to Renji now might cause him to fail again. He had already failed once…

"I just wanted…to say, arigato. I am glad you're here."

"I will always be here when you need me, Taichou."

And Byakuya knew it was a promise the redhead would keep.

"You should sleep now."

He did try. He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of warmth at his side. The flashes of hot and cold were easing and the ache in his head was slowly fading. He drifted in and out of sleep, surfacing to open his eyes, just to make sure that the redhead was still beside him, then dropping off again.

He opened his eyes and found himself in his own room. Where he was told him immediately that it was a dream, but it felt real and warm and comfortable. He realized all at once that he wasn't alone. Renji still knelt beside him…but here in this place, he could say the words. Here, it was safe and there was nothing to hold him back.

"Renji…" he whispered, "Renji…I…"

"What is it, Taichou?" Renji asked quietly.

He looked into the affectionate brown eyes.

"Will you," he began, "Would you…?"

What if?

"Will you lie down next to me?"

There was a long silence. He swallowed hard, not daring to look, not daring to hear…

"Taichou…this is what you want?"

"No, Renji," he whispered, "This is what my heart needs."

He held on to the warmth of his words, to the smile Renji gave him in the dream and to the gentle feeling of Renji's body lying alongside his.

XXXXXXXXXX

Will you lie down next to me?

Renji stared in surprise. Byakuya's eyes were closed, but he had drifted in and out of sleep so many times, Renji didn't know if he was lucid or not. But he had to do something.

"Taichou," he whispered, "This is what you want?"

No Renji, this is what my heart needs.

And then Renji understood that, awake or not, he was hearing what Byakuya wanted. He was hearing the contents of the noble's heart. It was what he had wanted for so long…not so much what was in the request, but that Byakuya would ask out loud. And what he requested sounded so beautiful when he put it into words. Renji was moving before he realized what he was doing, sliding under the blanket, moving closer. He touched Byakuya's arm very lightly in askance. Surprise rose up in his eyes as the noble's eyes flew open and he sat up and pulled away, staring.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a shaky voice.

Renji blinked in surprise.

"You asked me to lie down with you."

He had never seen his Taichou's eyes so wide…his expression so intense.

"You said that it was what your heart needed."

He paused a moment, reading the uncertainty mixed with desire and regret, and he shook his head slightly.

"Oh, Taichou, I thought that you were awake," he said apologetically, "I am sorry…"

He started to pull away, but was stopped by a hand on his arm. He turned to find that Byakuya was sitting up next to him and looking directly into his eyes now.

"You understand the danger in this," Byakuya said softly, "Renji, if we fall in love now, I won't be able to stabilize the reiatsu. My heart will be too conflicted."

Renji gave him a small smile.

"Then, Taichou," he said, meeting the dark gray eyes, "we will not fall in love right now."

He moved closer and wrapped his arms around the noble.

"But I will lie down next to you and I will hold you…if that is what your heart needs."

Byakuya was staring at him with a beautiful, surprised expression. He remained frozen for a moment longer, then sank deeper into Renji's arms and surrendered to sleep almost instantly…but not before he forced out a single whispered word.

"Arigato…"

XXXXXXXXXX

"It was reckless of us to allow this to happen," Byakuya said quietly when they woke, still wrapped in each other's arms, "Right now, I have to focus everything on what I am doing. I can't afford to become distracted."

"I don't mean to distract you, Taichou," Renji said softly, "I only meant to give you what you needed to find your strength again. I don't want to endanger your mission. Perhaps it would have been better if I hadn't come to you. But he said that you needed me. He told me that you lost the king's reiatsu and that it was very difficult for you."

"I am glad you came to me when you did," Byakuya said, meeting Renji's eyes warily, "My failure to stabilize the reiatsu is going to lengthen the rebirth ritual. We will have to begin again."

He paused, taking a careful breath.

"But I am going to move forward. So much rests on all of this. And Soutaichou said that the longer this takes, the more bad effects our worlds will suffer. As the worlds move closer to each other, they will destabilize and things will grow dangerous."

"But Taichou…you just lost the king's reiatsu. You need to give yourself time to recover," Renji argued, "If you try to force yourself to move forward without dealing with this, then you could make things worse…"

"I know that," admitted Byakuya, "But there really isn't any choice, Renji. I will reflect on my losses later, but now is not the time to indulge in my emotions. There is too much at stake."

"I hate this, Taichou," Renji said, resting a hand on Byakuya's, "I hate what it is doing to you."

Byakuya lowered his eyes.

"As I said, we will have time for our losses later. Renji…the king needs to return."

The warm hand squeezed his.

"Are you sure that you want to do this now?"

Byakuya nodded.

"You have helped me gather the strength to move forward. I want to finish this so that we can return home, Abarai Renji. We will have much to discuss upon our return."

Renji nodded.

"And we'll go home soon, Taichou," Renji assured him.

He hesitated for a moment.

"Taichou, if you need me again, just ask and I will come to you. I know my being here is difficult too, but if it helps you, then…just ask for me."

Byakuya nodded.

Renji wrapped his arms around the noble one last time and held him close for a long moment. As he let go, golden light rose around him and Byakuya could sense the shift taking place. He waited quietly as the reiatsu settled and the golden light faded. When the room darkened again, he found himself looking into the golden eyes of the Interim King. He stared at Byakuya appraisingly.

"Are you certain you have made the right decision, Byakuya?" he asked quietly, "There is much turmoil in your heart right now. Such turmoil could cause you to lose the king's reiatsu again."

"I am ready to continue in my mission," Byakuya stated calmly, "The more we delay, the closer our worlds come to colliding. What happened was painful, but it will not overwhelm me."

The king studied him for a moment.

"No…you are not in danger from your pain anymore. It is your growing love for Abarai Renji that threatens us now. It will continue to grow, so perhaps it is best for us to move forward. I would ask, however that if you find that you are being overcome, you will tell me and we will see to it before it becomes too great a threat."

Byakuya nodded.

"I will tell you if I begin to feel overwhelmed."

"That is best," the king agreed.

He leaned forward and pulled Byakuya closer, bringing their lips together. The contact felt strange after being held by Renji, but he closed his eyes and let his mind relax. He felt haste in the king's movements and opened his eyes. The golden eyes were flaring strangely and his expression was one of discomfort.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"It is the rendering. I had to wait until you were sufficiently recovered to continue. This causes the rendered reiatsu to become very unstable. It could cause problems in our exchange."

Byakuya nodded in understanding.

"Then by all means, relieve the stress quickly."

He fell back against the pillows and closed his eyes again as he was hurriedly prepared and the king entered him somewhat more forcefully than usual. His movements held something close to desperation and Byakuya found himself growing worried as the reiatsu continued to rise around them.

"What is it? What's happening?"

An odd wind was rising around them, flashing through the room with a strange whooshing sound. Byakuya felt a closed in feeling and he shivered softly. The king looked down into his eyes and Byakuya was unnerved by what he saw there.

"The reiatsu is too strong. It will overwhelm you."

He started to pull away, but Byakuya took hold of his arms and held them tightly.

"I am stronger than you think."

"You do not understand. If it is too strong, it could destroy you."

"And what happens if we do not mate?"

The king lowered his eyes.

"It could destroy me."

Byakuya looked into the golden eyes with renewed resolve.

"Then there is no choice."

The king began to move again and the reiatsu flared around them, burning against Byakuya's skin. And as the king's movements became faster and more urgent, the rumbling and pressure of the reiatsu continued to rise. Byakuya felt as though he was sinking beneath the surface of an ocean. He knew the king was right about the reiatsu being too strong, but if he did not ease the pressure, the Interim King could be lost. He felt the reiatsu flare again, fitfully and the king gasped softly as he neared release. Byakuya ignored the searing pain on his skin and the heavy, suffocating weight of the out of control reiatsu and held on for dear life.

The king gave a sharp, deeply pained gasp and his body flared with white light. The pain struck Byakuya like a thousand knives cutting into his flesh, but he kept his eyes closed and forced himself to remain still. The reiatsu exploded into his body, out of control and threatening to explode out of him again. He clenched his teeth, focusing on capturing the errant reiatsu and meeting it with calming waves. The reiatsu raked him again and again and he met it with unexpected calmness. Slowly, the reiatsu inside him began to recede. He took a breath and let it out slowly as the reiatsu became calm and quiet again.

Byakuya looked up into the king's golden eyes again and the king smiled and kissed him lightly on the mouth.

"You were right, Byakuya," he said gratefully, "You are stronger than I gave you credit for being."


	7. The King's Admonition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Interim King admits a growing attachment to Byakuya.

The Interim King rested quietly, holding a peacefully sleeping Byakuya in his arms. He studied the noble's life force and was pleased to note that his contact with Abarai Renji, however brief, had yielded the desired effect and had pulled him out of the emotional downward spiral he had been entering. Still, his emotional state was going to be in constant danger of destabilizing…and if Byakuya became too emotionally fragile, then the rebirth process could slowly destroy him.

That was why he had given Abarai Renji a very strongly worded piece of advice…

"If you wish for Byakuya to be successful in his efforts, then you must do nothing to upset his emotional balance. As I provide the new king's power, he provides the new king's heart and conscience, but the process of doing that places his own heart under great amounts of stress…and excessive emotional attachments could become a danger. Go to him. Comfort him, but do not allow yourselves to become too emotionally charged. The more emotion you exchange, the more danger there is that he will become emotionally unbalanced."

It had been carefully worded to avoid admitting his own growing emotional attachment. He knew it was a side effect of his intimate exposure to Byakuya. He, himself was not a creature given to great amounts of emotion…and actually, emotion endangered his mission. But because his Consort was dependant on emotion to provide his part of the transfer, it was to be expected that the Interim King would be affected by the exposure to that emotion.

That was translating into some unhealthy longings. The strongest was, of course, his longing for life. He was a construct created for the purpose of bringing forth the new king and when he had first appeared, there had been no desire on his part to live beyond his usefulness. While Byakuya had a 'before' and 'after,' the Interim King had only this time. And as his contact with his Consort increased, so did his emotional growth. Simply put, he longed for continuance…but it was not meant to be.

The other longing that resulted from close contact with his Consort was his growing affection for Byakuya. He knew Byakuya was in love with Renji and that the two were walking a pathway to becoming lovers, but he also felt a longing for Byakuya. Every time they joined to place the king's reiatsu, he felt that attachment grow…and he felt the desire for that contact deepen. He was meant to desire his Consort and he could demand what he wanted and Byakuya would yield it. But if he asked for too much, he could undo the noble and cause him to shatter emotionally. Everything in this transfer depended on maintaining a delicate balance. He told himself that same thing over and over. But as he looked down at the noble's sleeping form, all he could feel was his desire for their next coupling. And after several hours of resisting, he felt his resolve weakening.

He tried relieving the pressure of the emotion by gently touching Byakuya as he slept, running his fingers through the silken black strands of hair, letting his fingertips play over face and throat and lightly caressing the planes and curves of his body. But as his touches progressed, his desire grew…and as the desire grew, the nature of his touches changed.

Byakuya's eyes suddenly opened and met his. There was a moment of uncertainty

"My lord?" he said questioningly.

He was all too aware that Byakuya did not love him and did not want this kind of contact with him, but they both knew that part of Byakuya's job as Consort was to serve the Interim King's needs. He focused on the guarded, dark eyes that met his, and he felt that need take control of him.

He fastened his mouth on Byakuya's and felt at once the tension in his body. He did not resist in any way, but it was clear his heart was not in what he was doing. He yielded to the tongue that stroked his lips, calmly parting them to accept the king's questing tongue. The king moved slowly in his exploration, his passion growing as he continued to taste the sweet depths of that pliant mouth. His hands traced the fine curves of Byakuya's body, drawing pleasure from the incredible softness of the pale, white flesh.

It was deliciously pleasing to touch him, but he found himself aching for some kind of response. He slid one hand down the length of the noble's body and smiled as he encountered the hardening member. He treated it to slow caresses and let his fingers move down to explore the soft sac at its base.

He sighed softly. Everything about his Consort was beautiful…

He was careful to avoid making eye contact now. He sensed the reluctance, the soft shiver of regret, the ache of longing and he knew that if he met Byakuya's eyes, he would see pain.

So he carefully avoided it.

Instead, he turned the noble onto his stomach and entered him from behind. He bit down gently on a muscular shoulder, then traced it with kisses as he moved in and out of that lovely, accepting body. He reached down and curled a warm hand around his Consort's responsive arousal and moved up and down its length. He changed the angle of his body and thrust in deeply, striking the center of pleasure that made the body beneath his shudder and writhe in response. He thought he heard a small, strangled gasp as he thrust deeply inside one final time, but the hot pulse of release overtook him and he closed his eyes and sank down along the length of Byakuya's back, his thoughts pleasantly scattered. He treated the soft skin to a flurry of light kisses, then gently withdrew and left the room.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya lay, still and quiet until long after the Interim King had gone. His mind whirled at what had happened.

He had known and accepted that the king had the right to take what he wanted, when he desired it. That was a part of what Byakuya had agreed to when he chose to act as the king's consort. But this felt different. This time, he hadn't been doing anything to prepare the way for the new king. He was simply an object of pleasure and sexual release. It stunned him how much that hurt.

But then, Byakuya had long been used to submerging large amounts of pain.

So he forced down the feeling of revulsion and climbed out of bed. Wrapping himself in a light yukata, he left the bedroom and walked slowly to the palace baths. He sank down into the heated water and willed his emotions to fade, to quiet, to calm.

But some part of him refused to obey. It was the part of him that had longed for Renji's return, had welcomed it when it arrived, and now languished beneath the rigors of his mission. He tried reminding that part of himself how much rested on the success of that mission, the birth of the new king, but the words sounded hollow in his mind. What the king had just done had nothing to do with their mission…

It was desire beginning to overtake the Interim King's senses. And it was a clear threat to their mission. But lacking the right to refuse, Byakuya could say nothing. And he knew inside that he was the one to blame for the situation. He was the one who had brought emotion into their coupling by asking the king to call him by name, to kiss him, to touch him with affection. The king had not been withholding those things out of sheer coldness. The Interim King was focused on the transfer of power and if Byakuya had been able to shoulder the exchange without the signs of affection, if he could have accepted the king as he was, then the king would not have been so affected. What was happening was his own fault…caused by his own weak need for affection.

He hated himself for that…

He knew now what a cold person he had been before. And now, the one time that coldness would have served him in a positive way, he was incapable of it. His own desire to be treated with recognition and affection had undermined everything and was threatening to undo them.

_Desire is the need of the heart, just as food and drink are needs of the body._

He had given the king that desire…and now it was his responsibility to feed it. So, when the king returned, he yielded quietly, allowing himself to be lifted and carried back to the bedroom, prepared, used, and quietly abandoned. He was careful to keep his thoughts guarded and replied pleasantly when spoken to. But he felt an inward shattering of self, a loss of self that would have been unbearable if he didn't feel so strongly that he deserved it. He understood now the wisdom of Soutaichou's admonition…that he might regret having been left with his memory. If he had bathed in the purification pool, then he would have lost his connection to the things that drove his need for affection. He wouldn't have cared about having been stripped of name, of power, of zanpakutou, of Renji, because those things would have been meaningless to him then. And that would have stopped him from feeling the pain.

He had to laugh at himself for ever having thought he was losing less by keeping his memory…He had been a fool to think that…and now he was being proven painfully wrong.

But one thought bolstered him. It was in the king's words. He had said that part of Byakuya's mission was to provide the rendered reiatsu with emotion and conscience. So…perhaps that was why Soutaichou had also insisted that they had the highest chance of success in using a virginal taichou, who would keep his memory. It might be the more painful path…

But sometimes pain was necessary.

He repeated that to himself as he yielded his body to the king for the purpose of their mission or for pleasure.

He repeated it as the hours stretched into days and the days disappeared into weeks and the weeks became months.

And finally, one day, he found himself rewarded with that calm, familiar stirring within. It was the reason for all of his suffering and a promise that his suffering would eventually end. Exhausted in spirit, he dropped to his knees beneath a blossoming sakura tree and dissolved into tears of relief. He hadn't any pride left to stop him. He didn't care that tears were the surrender of his body to his heart, that they should be resisted, or that he should have been able to resist them. They also took away the torrent of emotion and left him calm again, so that when the king returned for him, he could shut down everything and go along quietly. He knew the king was aware of his weakness, but he was careful not to meet Byakuya's eyes or to say anything to acknowledge it. And he was especially cautious to avoid all mention of Renji.

Because they both realized the truth beneath everything. The very sight of Renji, the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand, and Byakuya would fall apart. He was so precariously balanced that the slightest move could break him.

But it would be fine if he kept his mind distracted, so he buried himself in the library until he had read every book within, he walked the paths of the gardens and lay on his back, watching the clouds cross the sky, he avoided all thoughts of his name, his heart, his home, and he clung desperately to the growing life inside him, knowing that if he failed this time, there wouldn't be another chance. He had given everything to this attempt, had pushed himself to the brink. He stood poised on the edge of a cliff, looking over and realized just how far he was in danger of falling.

He felt the king approaching and it took everything in him not to throw himself over the edge. He turned and bowed his head, waiting to be lifted and carried back to the palace, to be prepared and taken. But it was different this time. The king didn't touch him. He stood quietly in front of him and waited…until Byakuya gathered the courage to meet his eyes.

He caught his breath sharply and stepped back in surprise, nearly achieving what he had wished for. But the king caught his wrist as he began to lose his balance and Byakuya fell against him, not daring to believe what he had seen.

The golden eyes looked less golden…

The tattoos were darkening…

"Byakuya," the king said, finally breaking the silence between them, "There is something I have discovered…something you need to know…"

He dropped to his knees and brought Byakuya down with him.

"I know you are beginning to see it…You know he is beginning to return. It is a good sign. It means that the rebirthing is nearing its endpoint. When Renji returns in full, that will mean that the process will be complete and the new king will emerge."

Byakuya didn't dare trust his voice, so he simply nodded.

"But I have to warn you…as Renji emerges, it may complicate our joinings. If you see him, you may lose focus. You may become distraught…confused. There is danger to me as well. As Renji emerges, he will come to a full realization of what has happened between us. I have shielded him from the fact that I used you in ways not related to our mission. I had to, because if he grew overly protective of you, he could have emerged too soon and the king's reiatsu would have been lost again. I couldn't take that risk. This is the most dangerous time for us."

He paused, studying Byakuya's dark eyes.

"I am worried that the more often we join for the placing of reiatsu, the more chances there are that one of us will shatter. I have a solution, but I need to know that if we follow this path…that you will carry on to the end."

"My lord, I am resolved to bring forth the new king. I will do whatever you ask of me. I will not fail you again."

The king placed his hands gently on Byakuya's face.

"You never failed me in the first place. Byakuya, the first attempt failed because we were both unprepared for what this rebirthing would demand."

"I thought it was my pain that destabilized the king's reiatsu."

"No," the king said, shaking his head, "It was also my inexperience at responding to the needs of my Consort. We had to learn to work together. We have done that…and now we are near to birthing the king. But as I said, we are on dangerous ground. Every time we join, there are risks…so I want to propose to you that we attempt to end our couplings now."

Byakuya caught his breath in surprise.

"But…"

"You remember how the rendered reiatsu went out of control when I held it in too long, waiting for you to recover? It was at that time that I realized…you are strong enough to bear the full weight of the remaining reiatsu."

"You mean…all at once?" Byakuya queried softly.

"Yes. I could have offered this sooner, but I will confess to you that I was in difficulty for a time over my own fate. When this process ends, I will simply disappear and the new king will emerge. I had to come to terms with what that means. I don't have a life to go back to. I was created to serve a single purpose and to dissolve back into spirit particles when that is done. I delayed telling you about this because I allowed myself to fall in love with you…and even though you did not return my love, you allowed me full expression of my emotions so that I could work through them, I am sorry that my inappropriate attentions were painful to you. But they served a purpose. I was able to know what love feels like, Byakuya…and that was the greatest gift I could have been given. I can go peacefully and I am happy to know that you and Renji will go home…and that you will have achieved what you came here to do. I am happy you will finally have a chance to explore what you feel for each other…and I would remind you of the charge I gave you. You were given the heart that beats inside you for a reason. As much as you are required to conceal it at times, there are times when you should release its contents. When Renji returns…do not withhold your heart from him. Love him fearlessly and I promise you, he will return it."

He gazed out, across the darkening sky, watching the setting sun.

"Come," he said softly, "This will be the last time we are together."

Byakuya rose with the Interim King and followed him silently back to the palace.


	8. The King Reborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rebirth ritual comes to an end.

"I know that it will be a relief for you to have this be over and done with, but I must tell you, Kuchiki Byakuya, I am glad you were chosen to assist me in the rebirth ritual."

Byakuya froze at the sound of his surname. He hadn't heard anyone use it since he spoke it to the Interim King on that first day. To suddenly meet with it…to see it fall from the Interim King's lips…

"What is it?" asked the king, stroking the noble's face tenderly, "Did you think I had forgotten it?"

"But you never call me that…" Byakuya whispered, staring.

"We are at the end of our association. You are about to birth the Spirit King. You are to be honored and respected for what you have done. The least I can do is to recognize your efforts and begin to restore what was taken. And yet, even as I do this, I know some things were lost that cannot be regained."

He captured Byakuya's lips in a warm, affectionate kiss.

"I am sorry that our first coupling was so void of feeling. It wasn't right that your first experience should be with someone who ignored your needs. Yours are as important as my own. I was not able to recognize that then. It took you to educate me…and I thank you for that."

He threaded his fingers through the soft black strands of Byakuya's hair. The noble looked back at him expectantly.

"I should warn you, Byakuya. When this mating ends, my reiatsu will be forcefully expelled and Renji will return quite suddenly. And because of the intensity of the final reiatsu exchange, you may be somewhat overwhelmed."

"But," Byakuya said uncertainly, "If you are going to leave before the birth of the Spirit King, how will I know what to do? How will I know what to do if something goes wrong?"

He leaned forward and kissed Byakuya warmly again.

"You will be fine. The reiatsu will manage itself. It will swell and wrap around you, then the Spirit King will emerge. When he has left your body, your powers will return and you will be free to leave the palace."

Byakuya gazed at the Interim King and set his palm lightly on the hand that still touched his face.

"It seems unfair that you, who has given so much to the creation of the Spirit King, will not even lay eyes upon him," Byakuya said quietly.

The king returned Byakuya's gaze with even deeper affection.

"Despite everything, you still sympathize with me? How can you, Byakuya? I hurt you in so many ways…"

"You were sent to me with no knowledge of how to approach me…without any idea of what my needs would be. How can I blame you for how you were made? You did the best you could with what you were given."

"So…you forgive me for the pain I caused you?" the king asked softly.

"There is nothing to forgive," Byakuya replied, meeting his eyes with sincerity, "I know you also suffered because of the unreturned love you felt for me. It was not easy for you either."

The king gazed at Byakuya wonderingly.

"You are truly amazing, Kuchiki Byakuya…truly beautiful! Now, the time has come. Be with me, my Byakuya…one last time."

And this time, when the king's lips found Byakuya's, the noble's moved gently in response…and when his hands moved over the soft, pale flesh, Byakuya moaned softly and leaned into his touches. The king smiled in gratitude.

"Byakuya!" he whispered, "Is this real?"

The dark eyes met his with warmth, with kindness, with genuine affection.

"My lord, you learned how to treat me with love and affection. And you gifted me with the same. I never knew the importance of making others feel loved…so this once, before you go…I want you to feel that, my king. Your short existence accomplished more than bringing forth the Spirit King. You challenged me to know and express the desires of my heart. And for that, I am thankful…"

Their mouths met and devoured each other hungrily as the reiatsu rose sharply around them. Golden fire erupted all around them and the king fell onto the open, willing form that lay beneath him. The king felt a soft swell of joy as each move he made was answered with gentle movements, soft whispers and sighs, sounds and touches that went straight to the heart that Kuchiki Byakuya helped him to find. And as the reiatsu reached its peak, he gazed deeply into the wide gray eyes, his lips moving in words of farewell.

"Good bye…Kuchiki Byakuya…Arigato…for everything."

Byakuya held his eyes as the waves of reiatsu and release broke over them…and he felt tears of both sadness and relief as the gold faded and the black tattoos and calm brown eyes suddenly returned.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji felt the dizzying feeling of suddenly bursting out of a dark, twisting tunnel and emerging into too bright light. His head throbbed painfully and he felt keenly the last raking touch of the Interim King's reiatsu as it dissipated. He suddenly realized that he was naked and lying, collapsed on top of an equally naked, pale and trembling Byakuya. A bolt of shock and shame went through him as he came to awareness that he was still inside Byakuya and that their hearts were still racing and their chests still heaved softly from release. He started to pull away, but Byakuya's arms wrapped around him tightly, clinging to him.

"Don't go…Renji…" Byakuya whispered, "Don't let go of me…I don't know what's going to happen now!"

And when he met Byakuya's eyes, he could see the beginnings of a golden flare, burning at the black centers. Byakuya's body shook softly and his widened eyes looked to Renji like the haunted eyes of one waking from a nightmare. He tightened his arms around the noble and whispered encouragement.

But he understood that, for Byakuya, the nightmare wasn't over…

Their racing hearts slowed together and he carefully extracted himself from the noble's shivering body. Byakuya's body was beginning to glow with golden light and the reiatsu was rising all around them.

"Kami!" hissed Renji breathlessly, "This is un-fucking-believable!"

Byakuya's eyes captured his again and Renji drew back, staring. The golden light was expanding outward, swirling and moving. The gray eyes that he had known so well disappeared and were replaced with gleaming gold centers. The reiatsu pulsed sharply around him, making the long strands of his hair flutter sharply on the breezes and, as they moved, the golden light touched them and left them shot through with gold.

"Don't…leave me…Renji…" Byakuya pleaded in a strange, echoing whisper, "I need you…"

Renji abandoned his fears and gathered Byakuya into his arms, ignoring the huge swell of reiatsu, the strange golden eyes and hair, the ghostly, echoing voice. Beneath everything, he reasoned, this was still Byakuya…and Renji knew full well that he had never witnessed Kuchiki Byakuya showing so much fear.

"I won't leave you," he promised, "I'm going to stay with you."

Pale hands held onto him for dear life as the reiatsu exploded around them again and Byakuya's body pulsed with the deep, golden light. Renji felt the pressure close in around him, leaving him with a feeling of not being able to draw a breath. He clung to Byakuya as tightly as the noble clung to him now, watching as the golden color settled on Byakuya's skin and the heavy throbbing of the king's reiatsu began to ebb. The room rumbled softly one more time as the reiatsu spun free of Byakuya and fell away. Then, the noble gazed through golden eyes into Renji's brown ones and sank slowly into his arms, the strange eyes closing and the shaken body surrendering to sleep with a soft, frightened sigh.

Renji eased him down onto the bed again and remained kneeling at his side, his eyes on the gilded body…waiting for some sign of what would come next. The room went silent and calm again and Renji could see the full moon rising up outside as the night wore on. When it had reached its highest point in the sky, Byakuya's eyes suddenly opened and he climbed out of bed. Still clothed only in the bright golden light, he left the room and made his way to the King's Gardens with Renji following close on his heels. He walked calmly to the edge of the purification pool and stopped to look back at Renji with gratitude.

"Arigato, Renji," he said in the odd, echoing voice, "I needed you and you were there for me. I won't forget that…"

"Byakuya?" Renji called uncertainly, "Byakuya…"

He stepped into the waters and they began to boil and swirl around his bare feet, climbing in slow spirals up his bare legs and wrapping around his golden torso. He was disappearing into the water and Renji felt a touch of panic.

"Don't you leave me, Byakuya! Don't!" he cried over the howl of the rising wind.

As the water reached the noble's face and it began to disappear, his lips curved into a smile.

"I will come back to you…" he promised softly.

Renji fell to his knees beside the purification pool, watching the column of water around Byakuya continue to swirl and glow golden in the evening darkness. He wondered briefly how long he would it would be…how long he would wait, wondering, as the waters continued to swirl and the reiatsu pulsed heavily. Finally, the water in the purification pool rose up, carrying Byakuya upward and forming a watery golden sphere around him. Renji caught sight of Byakuya's silhouette and felt the ground open up beneath him as Byakuya released a scream of pain and the reiatsu exploded outward.

Renji came to his feet again, his chest heaving with fear for the encircled noble.

"Byakuya!" he cried over the howling wind, "Byakuya!"

The noble gave another cry of pain, and as Renji watched in horrified silence, he could see a dark shape emerging from Byakuya's body, twisting, turning and softly pulling free of him. As the other left his body, Byakuya gave a final scream of pain and sank into the other's waiting arms.

The reiatsu spun more slowly around them now, the golden light slowly dropping away into a shimmering fall of tiny sparks. A tall, dark form stepped forward as the reiatsu settled and the purification pool slowly faded and disappeared. Renji moved forward cautiously, his eyes wide as the moonlight fell for the first time on the face of the new Spirit King.

And Renji felt a smile coming to his lips.

The king was tall, with Renji's golden, tanned skin and light swirling tattoos on his forehead, neck, chest, back and arms. His hair was black and flowing, like Byakuya's and the man's eyes were lovely, dark gray and calm and gentle. He had Byakuya's pearly finger and toenails and the same fine bone structure. Renji had never seen a more beautiful creature.

He stepped forward, holding Byakuya's motionless form in his arms and bearing a somber expression.

"Wh-what is it?" Renji asked in a frightened voice, "Is he going to be all right?"

He set Byakuya gently down on the ground and Renji ran to his side, dropping to his knees, searching for signs of life. His heart froze as he realized.

"Kami! Byakuya?" he said in a shaking voice.

"The rebirth was too much for him," the Spirit King said softly.

Even the man's voice was reminiscent of Byakuya's…

"No! You can't let him die! You can't! He came here and gave up everything for you! You can't let him die! You have to save him!"

"He willingly gave everything to his task, so much so that it drained him of life in the end. I am proud to have been born of one so strong," the king said, observing the motionless noble with affectionate eyes.

"I don't give a damn about his task or anything else! I can't lose him, not after everything we went through to find each other. You are the Spirit King! You can bring him back. You have to bring him back…You have to…"

The king placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"And what if it is Byakuya's time to leave?" he asked in a gentle voice, "What then, Abarai Renji?"

"It can't be," Renji said, his voice coming out in a strangled sob, "We were just finding our way to each other…We were falling in love."

He rose and turned, meeting the king eye to eye.

"Don't you think that after all that he gave up to give you life…can't you save his? I swear to you…you'll have whatever you want from me. I'll…I'll do anything. I…I…I would die for Byakuya!"

The Spirit King reached out and set his hands gently on Renji's face.

"I can see why you were chosen, Abarai Renji. Your love is a very powerful thing. And you have given as much as Byakuya to bring me into this world. I am indebted to both of you. So, I will do this. I will return Byakuya to life on one condition…I can give life back to his body, but you will have to mend his heart. He was badly shattered by this rebirth. Only in this way can he fully return. Will you give me this promise?"

Renji's eyes filled with tears.

"Yes…I'll do anything…just don't let him die."

The king smiled and knelt next to Byakuya, raising a blue energy field around his still form. Renji dropped to his knees beside the king, his eyes locked on Byakuya's face, staring intently. The light around the noble pulsed and flared. Renji felt a feeling like he was falling as the wind touched Byakuya's body and he stirred.

"B-byakuya?" Renji breathed

The dark eyes slowly opened and met Renji's sleepily.

"R-renji?" he mouthed without sound.

The blue light faded. Renji leaned over the noble and placed a very light, tentative kiss on his lips.

Byakuya gazed up at him, his eyes slowly focusing.

"Renji…" he murmured in a soft, relieved sigh, "You stayed with me…"

Renji broke into a wide smile.

"Are you kidding, Taichou? Of course I did. I promised I would stay with you and I'm right here."

"Renji?"

"Hai?"

"Do you think that perhaps we could find some clothes?"


	9. The Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji's return home is marred by a wicked betrayal.

Renji returned to the gardens, dressed in a dark red kimono and carrying one that was midnight blue with a thin gold trim. He slowed as he spotted the king kneeling at Byakuya's side, infusing the noble's body with healing power as he slept. The king pulled his hands away and looked up at Renji as he approached.

"How is he?" Renji asked softly.

The king turned his head to study the noble's sleeping form.

"He is responding to the healing, but his shinigami powers have not returned as I would have expected they would. I have examined him thoroughly, and I believe this to be a matter of the heart."

"So what does that mean?" Renji asked, gazing at Byakuya.

"It means that his powers will return as his heart mends. It will require time, patience and not a small amount of love to restore him. But I sense you have the capability to help him with that healing, Abarai Renji."

"Well, I'll do what I can. But it's hard to know where to even begin, you know?"

The Spirit King smiled warmly at Renji.

"I will give you this piece of advice, then. If you wish to reach Byakuya's heart, then the best way is to know and follow yours."

"You mean…"

"You said that the two of you were falling in love?"

"Yes…well, it seemed we were. But he seemed unsure of himself. I think it was because the feelings have been there, but we never really knew they were there. And how in the hell he was supposed to figure out anything while in the middle of all of this…It's easy to understand why he would feel confused."

"But you are very certain of yourself in this."

It was a statement, Renji realized, not a question.

"Yeah…I know what I feel."

"Then you and Byakuya are going to be fine. The road to his recovery will be long and difficult, but when his recovery nears completion, the two of you will discover a gift I have given you."

"A gift?"

"Yes," replied the king, rising, "but that will reveal itself when you are ready to receive it. For now, I think the two of you should return to the palace and get some rest. The palace will be unsealed in the morning and the two of you will be free to return to the Seireitei."

"Hai," Renji said, kneeling and gathering Byakuya into his arms.

Renji carried Byakuya back to the palace, passing through the throne room and down the long hallways. He paused for a moment at the doorway to the bedroom Byakuya had shared with the Interim King. He gazed down at Byakuya's sleeping face and then turned toward another room, farther down the hallway. This room was larger and brighter, with a window that overlooked a small blue lake.

Renji set Byakuya down on the bed, then went to find sleeping clothes for the two of them. He slipped into a light yukata and brought one for Byakuya. A pang of sadness went through Renji as he wrapped the material around Byakuya and realized just how thin he had become…too thin and too pale.

He pulled back the blankets and tucked Byakuya in, then stood for a moment, watching him sleep and remembering how Byakuya had begged him not to leave. The Spirit King had told Renji to follow his heart…and his heart told him not to leave the noble alone. So he slipped into the bed next to Byakuya and gently pulled the sleeping noble into his arms. Byakuya did not wake, but shifted softly in his sleep, turning into Renji's arms and settling onto his shoulder. Renji turned his head, resting his face in a swirl of black, sakura scented hair and drifted off to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya began to surface again and realized with a start that he was being held by someone. Still half submerged in sleep, his tired mind recognized the arms that held him as those of the Interim King and he felt the sinking feeling he always felt upon waking in those arms.

But something felt very different this time…

The arms that held him did so with greater tenderness and warmth. The reiatsu was calmer and heartbreakingly familiar. Byakuya shifted slightly and the other's face lifted, the gentle brown eyes fastening on his. A lovely smile played over the other's face and it made his own lips turn slightly upward in response.

"Taichou," Renji said quietly, "I thought that after what happened before, you might not prefer to wake up alone. I hope you don't mind."

Now Byakuya managed a grateful smile.

"Arigato, Renji, you thought correctly."

They stared at each other for a long moment, then Byakuya very slowly leaned forward and brought their lips together. The contact was light, tentative and very, very sweet. And it made Abarai Renji hungry for more. But such things would need to wait. There was much that needed to happen before they were ready. So he released the noble's lips and brushed a warm cheek against Byakuya's before pulling back slightly and meeting his eyes. They were still sad and shadowed, and Renji had the aching feeling that they would be that way for a long time.

"The palace has been unsealed," Renji said softly, "We can go home whenever you are ready, Taichou."

They had brought nothing with them, so there was nothing to gather. They walked out first to the gardens and stepped forward to say goodbye to the Spirit King. The beautiful spirit creature they had given so much to birth gathered each into his arms by turn and kissed each gently on the cheek.

"Arigato," he said, smiling, "you have granted me life and power and heart. I will do my best to care for the worlds I have been brought forth to protect…and I will watch over you. You have trials yet to face…and know that you will not face them alone…and whenever you wish to come to me…you are welcome here…in this home and in these gardens. You have more than earned that right."

Renji started to turn away, but noticed that Byakuya was not turning with him. The noble stood frozen and silent, staring fixedly at the being they had made. The fingertips of his right hand rested over his heart and there were tears in his eyes.

The king stepped close to him again and took Byakuya in his arms, bringing the noble's weary head to rest against his shoulder. His fingers threaded tenderly through the lengths of black hair and his voice was like a whisper of wind through the trees.

"Do not worry that you must leave everything behind and leave with nothing. My heart lives always very close to your own. But you must return to your life now. I have asked all I will of you…except…I…want you to smile again. I want you to grow strong and to feel alive. And I want you to know your heart and feed it always with love. You deserve to be happy…and if you follow your heart, you will find that happiness, Kuchiki Byakuya."

He released Byakuya and stepped back, waiting, watching and smiling as Renji touched the noble's arm and Byakuya turned and followed Renji away.

When they entered the palace, they were surprised to find that it was no longer empty. The members of the Royal Guard stepped aside silently, bowing their heads respectfully as Byakuya and Renji passed by. When they reached the main gates, the gates stood open, and they paused for a moment, looking out into the forested land beyond.

As they started forward again, Byakuya followed Renji like a silent shadow. Renji understood his need to reflect, but as time passed and they continued to walk in silence, he couldn't help but feel worried for his too-quiet taichou. They came to a stream and stooped to gather water into their hands. Renji splashed some on his face, then drank deeply, trying to remember the last time either of them had eaten or had anything to drink. The spirit realm hadn't required it, but as they reached the end of the spirit dimension and re-entered the Seireitei, they felt hunger again. Renji turned to complain jokingly about his hunger, when all at once, he heard hissing flash steps and they were surrounded by secret mobile corps.

"Kuchiki taichou, Abarai fukutaichou, we have been ordered to take you immediately to Soutaichou at the first division headquarters. As we travel, we are to make no stops and speak to no one."

Byakuya said nothing, but Renji felt a flare of anger and stepped between Byakuya and the officers of the second division.

"What the hell is this? Do you have any idea where we've been? What we were forced to do?"

"You will refrain from speaking to us or anyone else until you have met with Soutaichou."

The secret mobile corps took up positions around them, starting forward and forcing the two to move with them.

"I don't like the look of this, Taichou," Renji mused.

Byakuya gave him a very light touch on the arm.

"Do as they say, Renji," he said in a soft voice.

Grudgingly, Renji moved forward, keeping himself positioned close to Byakuya and watching the men around them with flaring eyes. They made their way back into the main streets of the Seireitei, using their flash step to avoid curious stares as they approached the first division. The secret mobile corps followed them to the steps, then left them with a final admonition to speak to no one except Soutaichou. They were met by an officer of the first division and led into Soutaichou's office, then instructed to kneel and wait.

"Something about this seems really off, Taichou," Renji whispered as they waited, "I don't like this at all."

"I feel the same," admitted Byakuya softly, "but there is little we can do until we know what Soutaichou has to say."

"I don't care what he has to say! There's something not right about this!"

"Hold your temper, Renji," Byakuya said quietly, "something tells me that this would be a poor time to annoy Soutaichou. Remember that we have no idea what happened in our absence. There may be factors at work here that we do not realize."

"Hai…sorry, Taichou. I just didn't like the way those guys were acting before."

He would have said more, but the far doors in the office suddenly opened and Soutaichou stepped into the room. He approached them slowly and paused, looking them over carefully.

"I congratulate you on the success of your mission," Soutaichou said solemnly, "The birth of the new king has stopped the collision of our worlds and we are now safe. You are to be commended."

He paused, turning to look out the window.

"But as you return to your duties, I must caution you…The details of your mission have been concealed and made classified."

"What?" Renji hissed softly, "Soutaichou…"

"Silence, Abarai fukutaichou, I will explain. Had it been made known that the Spirit King had died at the hands of Aizen Sousuke, there would have been mass hysteria. And in any case, because we do not want our enemies to ever learn how the king is reborn, we cannot allow the details of that to be known. The taichous know about the choosing of an Interim King and Consort, but they do not know the full details of how the king is birthed. You two and I are the only ones who know…and it is necessary that you forget. As such, it is my order that the two of you will be taken to the fourth division, where you will receive a full medical evaluation and your memories of this will be adjusted."

Renji's eyes went wide and he came to his feet, his fists clenched.

"Soutaichou…no! You can't do that!"

"I said, silence! We are talking about the protection of our worlds, Abarai fukutaichou! If word were to get out about the process for birthing the new king, then our enemies could make use of that! We cannot afford for that to happen."

"But think about what you are doing! Soutaichou, Kuchiki taichou and I left behind everything! We went to that place and Taichou put everything he had into the birth of the new king. All you have to do is look at him and you can see what it did to him! Now, you want to take his memory of it?"

"At this point, it might seem a kindness, don't you think? Kuchiki taichou seems pushed to the brink. This will relieve him of his heavy emotions and allow him to move forward."

"Damn you! You have no idea what you're doing! His heart is already in pieces! Now you want to fuck with his mind?"

"Abarai," Byakuya began.

"No…I have to speak my mind, Taichou. If they're going to rip it to pieces, then, by kami, I'm going to fight them all the way!"

He met Soutaichou's eyes angrily.

"He chose me to be his fukutaichou! It is my responsibility to protect him. I had to stand by and watch as he had everything taken away from him and as he was used to create the king. There was no honor in it for him. His body was used repeatedly against his wishes and he was treated like he was nothing! And after all of that, he comes back here to the worlds he sacrificed his body…no, Soutaichou…his LIFE to save. Did you know that he actually died? The only reason he's even here is because he did the job you sent him to do, even though it killed him! He took the new king's reiatsu and he poured his heart into it…and he gave so much there was nothing left to sustain him. But the one he gave his heart knew that it would be wrong to let him die after all he gave. The Spirit King said he should be honored. And now, this is the honor you show him? You want to act like it didn't fucking happen! You want to take what he suffered and what he saved from his memory like it never happened, but, Soutaichou, it DID happen! It happened and I was there. I saw everything! And after that…Soutaichou…YOU should be the one on your knees…or at very least, you should show the decency to apologize for using him like that. I am this man's fukutaichou and I swear to you that if anyone lays a hand on him, I will kill them! If anyone tries to hurt him, I will make them wish they were never born! Now, you might not think that saving three worlds is a big deal, but it's a big fucking deal to me…and it is to him, even if what he's been through has broken his will and made him unable to say it to you!"

Renji realized suddenly that he was shaking all over and that tears were running down his face. But he continued to stare angrily into Soutaichou's stern eyes. The captain commander stared at his tearstained face for a long time, then turned and gazed down at Byakuya's quiet, pale features. He still knelt, waiting, his body unmoving, but a single tear had escaped one eye and traveled slowly down his face.

"Byakuya," said Soutaichou in a quiet voice, "will you swear that the details of your mission will remain confidential? If so, I will allow you to keep the memory of your mission…but I think you will understand why Abarai fukutaichou must not."

"Soutaichou…I will give you my word that neither Renji nor I will discuss this mission with anyone. I respectfully ask that you entrust responsibility for his silence to me. The Spirit King left Renji and me with personal charges and confidences that he would have us remember. To take our memories would interfere with our ability to serve him."

There was a long silence.

"Very well, then. Despite my reservations about anyone being left with this information, it seems that my will must be secondary to that of the Spirit King. However, you will be monitored to make certain that you share this with no one. Kuchiki Byakuya, Abarai Renji, you are hereby sworn to secrecy in this matter."

He paused and lowered his eyes.

"I do not wish for you to think that your sacrifice has gone unnoticed. Although the millions of souls you preserved will not be able to thank you for it…I thank you on their behalf. And I…apologize for the hurt it did to you. You are excused from duty for one week. I have explained your absence to the sixth division and the Kuchiki council of elders as that we sent you on a special operations mission to the spirit dimension. No mention was made of the king's death or rebirth. The only details were that the royal family was attacked and that Aizen, Gin and Tousen were all killed. All details related to your mission are confidential, so no one will even ask. Go now to the fourth division for your medical evaluation…rest…heal. You are dismissed."

The captain commander turned and disappeared out the far doors.

Byakuya slowly rose and turned to leave the room. His eyes lowered and his body still shaking with rage, Abarai Renji followed. They stepped out onto the streets of the Seireitei and turned together toward the fourth division. As they walked, cheerful voices rose up around them, welcoming them back, squad members bowed politely and hurried off to tend to their duties, the cool air brushed their skin with light, feathery touches and everything had the feel of just another day.

But Byakuya and Renji carried with them the secret of just how out of the ordinary this day was…

"Taichou," Renji said softly, "they should burn in hell for doing this to you. You know that, right?"

"They're not just doing this to me, Renji," Byakuya replied softly, "They are doing this to both of us. But we will be okay…as long as we have each other. We know what happened. That's all that really matters."

"How can you say that? After…after everything, how can you…"

"I have served the Gotei 13 and my clan for many years. I know what they are like. I suspected what they would do…so perhaps I was more prepared to hear it."

"But it isn't right, Taichou…it's not. Now we're not allowed to admit what happened. We can't even tell our closest friends…and you can't tell your clan. How is that right, Taichou? How is that fucking right?"

"It isn't right…but it is happening anyway. Renji…you have grown much more powerful. So much so that you could, perhaps, be a taichou yourself, now. But even as powerful as you are, you must learn to employ wisdom. You must learn when and how to use your emotion to achieve what you must. Your recklessness will not just work against you as you grow more powerful…It could get you killed. And right now, it threatens to get us separated. I am going to ask something of you. I must ask that whatever you do…that you do not do anything to give them a reason to separate us. Soutaichou was not pleased at your outburst. And because of this, he may try to take you from my side somehow. He might even try to promote you to put you farther from me, and more under his eye. I want you to be careful. I need you with me, Renji. Watch my back…but don't forget to mind your own as well."

They climbed the steps of the fourth division and were met immediately by healers and led away to separate rooms. Renji kept Byakuya's words in mind as he was led down the hallway to an examination room. He resolved to wait quietly and to be cooperative, for Byakuya's sake. He knew that Byakuya was right that they had to be careful. They were in a precarious position. He didn't want to do anything to make things worse. But all thoughts of obedience and caution flew out the window when Byakuya's voice sounded from somewhere nearby, rising up and releasing Renji's name in a terrified scream.


	10. Enter the Blackness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gotei 13 goes to shocking lengths to conceal information about the rebirth ritual.

Renji burst through the door into the examination room Byakuya was in and met with the awful sight of his taichou being restrained by two members of the second division, while a healer injected him with something. He flash stepped forward, tearing Byakuya away from them as the taichou's legs gave way beneath him. He held Byakuya against him and started moving towards the door.

"Abarai fukutaichou! What are you doing? We were just trying to conduct the necessary tests and we needed to sedate him."

"What's wrong with you? You don't just knock a guy out and start running tests on him against his will!"

"But Soutaichou said that we…"

"I don't give a shit what Soutaichou told you! No one is touching him without his permission and I'll cut the fucking hand off anyone who tries."

"Ren…don't…let them…They are going to make us forget…Sou…taichou was…lying…"

"We weren't going to…"

"Yeah, right!" Renji fired back, "That's why you needed secret mobile corps in here for a simple medical examination! Don't think for a minute I'm falling for that!"

"He's obviously hallucinating, Abarai. We weren't going to…"

"They're…lying…" Byakuya gasped, his eyes wide and unfocused, "Don't trust…"

He sensed more healers approaching and threw the door open, lifting a semiconscious Byakuya into his arms.

"I'm taking him to Kuchiki Manor. If you want him examined, you send either Unohana taichou or Hanatarou. If you send anyone else, the door will be slammed in their faces!"

He engaged his flash step just in time to avoid the incoming healers and shot across the hallway and out into the lobby.

"There!" someone yelled, "That guy is crazy! He just busted in and started yelling and threatening everyone."

"Shit…" Renji muttered, "So much for not doing anything to get us separated. Sorry, Taichou, but I think we'll have to make a run for home."

He flash stepped again and again, angling for the exit doors and bursting outside. He breathed a sigh of relief as he put distance between the healers and security guards, and himself. Holding Byakuya close, he turned the corner and started down the next street. He had nearly reached the end of the street, when he heard the hiss of flash steps all around and the click of zanpakutou being drawn as the secret mobile corps began to appear around him.

"Back off!" he yelled at them, "I'm taking Kuchiki taichou home! This is what he wants. I'm not hurting anyone…I'm just trying to do what my taichou wants."

"You will surrender now or we will have no choice but to forcefully restrain you. Abarai fukutaichou, you are under arrest for disturbing the peace and interference with an investigation. You must allow us to return Kuchiki taichou to the fourth division. They are only trying to do their jobs and conduct the necessary tests. They are trying to help him. Now…you must surrender."

"Look…I know Kuchiki taichou better than you do and better than those hacks who were torturing him in there. I will go back into the fourth division and allow him to be examined by either Hanatarou or Unohana taichou. I give my word that I will cooperate…just…you can't just let them start drugging him and doing crazy tests. He's been through a lot, okay?"

The leader of the secret mobile corps shook his head.

"I understand your devotion to your taichou, but my orders are clear. You must surrender and be questioned. And Kuchiki taichou must be returned to the fourth division."

"Renji…" Byakuya said weakly, "Renji…something…They did something…I can't…remember. I…What happened? Where are we?"

"Damn them!" Renji hissed, dropping to his knees, "It'll be okay, taichou. I'll take care of you, okay?"

He looked up at the officer.

"Please…he needs help. I just want to take him home and let his personal staff care for him. I'll surrender once he is safe…"

More secret mobile corps suddenly flash stepped into view all around him and took hold of him as he struggled to break free and to hang on to Byakuya. Renji felt himself being forced to the ground and cried out in anger as Byakuya was torn from his arms and kidou ropes extended and wrapped around his wrists. A moment later, a shock went through him as his spirit energy was sealed away. He caught a glimpse of Byakuya being restrained and carried back to the fourth division. The leader of the secret mobile corps unit knelt next to Renji's restrained form and spoke in a low, sympathetic tone.

"Abarai Renji, you have my apologies. Don't think I am unsympathetic, but Soutaichou is very intent on protecting certain information you have. He wishes for your memories to be adjusted and he said that it was for the best to do this even though it meant lying to you. I am made uneasy by this, because I know you to be a good man. I have to take you in, but I give you this advice. If you want to be there for your taichou, then you need to come along calmly and submit. If you do that, you may be able to simply be mind-wiped and released afterward. But if you give us trouble, we have been ordered to hold you longer…to pursue more serious charges. I overheard the advice Kuchiki taichou gave you earlier while we were monitoring you. You should listen to him…if you want to be there for him."

Renji let out a long sigh and nodded defeatedly. He quietly allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and led away.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya lay unmoving, his eyes wide and senseless as the secret mobile corps stood guard nearby.

"I heard they were moving him to a secret location in the living world," said one guard to the other.

"Damn shame. I can't believe he'd fall apart like that. I gotta wonder. What kind of hell did he and Abarai fukutaichou get sent to to come back in such a condition?"

"Don't ask too many questions," the other advised, "This was supposed to be a simple mind-wipe. This wasn't supposed to happen. The guys who mind-wiped Kuchiki taichou fucked up and overdid it. I guess they figured he would need a stronger dose…"

"Hell with that! They shouldn't be using that shit on enemies, let alone our own. I don't know what information they had, but it wasn't worth this!"

"Well, Abarai will be mind-wiped and probably promoted to Squad Six Taichou after Kuchiki taichou disappears."

"What if Kuchiki taichou regains his senses?"

"Look at him! Those fucking idiots fried his brains. He's not coming back. You can feel he's not flowing any reiatsu. He's gone…"

"Damn! And you gotta wonder what the hell it would take to do that."

"Don't wonder. Don't ask. Just forget…and realize that after they take him…they'll mind-wipe everyone here too. Whatever secret he had…is gone."

The door opened and the guards fell silent. Footsteps crossed the room and a black clad squad two officer stopped by the bed and gazed down at the senseless taichou.

"Time to go, Kuchiki taichou. We have a nice comfortable place for you to stay. We'll make sure no one hurts you."

The man in the bed did not move or respond. The other shook his head and moved forward, lifting Byakuya into his arms. He twitched softly as pale arms looped around his neck and his head came to rest on one shoulder.

"You came back for me…Renji…" Byakuya moaned softly, "I knew you would come back…"

"Yeah, I won't let anyone hurt you, Kuchiki taichou. We're going somewhere safe."

Byakuya's eyes closed and he drifted off as the officer flash stepped away, holding him securely in his arms.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji sat quietly in the Squad Two Cellblock, waiting for the inevitable. He knew the guards would return at some point and erase his memory, but how to avoid it was a question he couldn't seem to answer. He had tried everything he could think of, from distracting his guards to pleading, but nothing could get him outside of the cell. He retreated to a chair in the corner and sat with his face in his hands, remembering his last glimpse of Byakuya…his dark eyes wide with terror, lost…broken.

"Why the fuck did they do that, Taichou?" he whispered, "We were as good as our word! Soutaichou had to know we would keep to what we said. Why would they do that to you? Why are they doing this to us? Where will they have taken you? How do I find you? How will I even know to look for you if they take my memories? Damn! We did what we were sent to do! We did everything we were supposed to! Why, Taichou? Why did they do this?"

His head drooped and he sat leaned against the wall, waiting for the footsteps. When he heard them, he rose to meet his fate wearily…resigned…disillusioned. Suddenly, Renji understood what might have motivated Aizen taichou and the others to abandon the Gotei 13. He understood that even if you followed the rules…you could still get screwed…by your own…

The soft footsteps stopped at his cell and he gazed down at the petite, black clad guard who opened the cell door. He blinked and looked closer and the guard's lips curled into a smile.

"I'm to take you to a secure location for your interrogation," the familiar voice said, "Do not resist."

"I won't," he said, hiding a smile.

He followed the dark form out of the cellblock and into a nearby alleyway. Quickly, the guard pulled him into a doorway.

"Here, Renji," Rukia said in a low voice, "It's a cover form. I'll wear one too. It will hide our identity until we can reach the living world."

"How did you even know I was here? That we were back?" Renji asked as he slipped into the cover form.

"Rikichi," Rukia said softly, "He was near the first division when you arrived and tailed the ones who led you away, then watched to see where they would take you."

"Where is he now?" asked Renji.

"Tailing the ones who have my brother. They were at the fourth division when I last heard from him, but they will probably move him. Something happened that wasn't supposed to, Renji."

"Yeah, I'll tell you what happened, Rukia. We were screwed over…Byakuya and I promised not to say a thing, but Soutaichou was lying when he said we didn't have to be mind-wiped. When we got to the fourth division, secret mobile corps showed up and they tried to mind-wipe him…but they used too much or fucked up somehow…I don't know exactly, but I heard him scream my name and I went to help him. I tried to get him out of there…take him home, but we got surrounded…and they took him. Rukia, he was really out of it when they took him. He sounded like he was completely unhinged."

"Damn it! I knew it was something like that, but I didn't know what. What happened to the two of you?"

Renji gazed at her for a moment.

"Hell…it's not like they kept their part of the agreement, so I guess I don't feel obligated to keep mine. We were sent to the royal palace. Aizen Sousuke attacked and…"

"I heard about that," Rukia said, "but…"

"But you probably didn't know that…"

"Renji…Ukitake taichou knew where they sent my brother and you. He told me that you went to the palace to use the rebirth ritual to birth the new king. He swore me to secrecy."

"Did he tell you anything about the process or our roles?" Renji asked quietly.

"No…but I know it must be bad. What Rikichi saw tells me that whatever it is…it was very bad for my brother. So to help him, I'm going to get you to the senkaimon. I have to stay in plain sight most of the time, because they watch me a lot. I was lucky to give them the slip this time. But you have to get to Urahara Kisuke. He can hide you…and then you and Ichigo can look for Byakuya. I will make contact with Rikichi and bring any new information to you."

"So…once I find Byakuya, what then?" Renji asked softly, "They'll still…"

"Get him to the elders," Rukia said firmly, "Remember, the Kuchiki's are the strongest of the noble clans. Once they see what was done to Byakuya, they will provide pressure to keep the two of you safe. The Gotei 13 is strong, but the clans are stronger. They won't tolerate what was done to Byakuya. But Renji, they won't listen to us. They will need to see Byakuya before they will act. We have to find him and we have to bring him back."

Renji nodded.

"I'll find him, Rukia," Renji promised, "I won't stop until I do."

XXXXXXXXXX

"So…you say he was found like this?" asked the doctor, looking at her clipboard, "No name or ID? Nothing from him about a name or…anything?"

"Nothing…just him."

"Damn! I hate these…" the doctor muttered, "I like to know more about my patients."

"Yeah, well, sometimes they just come from outta nowhere. Look, I gotta go. I'll catch you next time."

"Thanks," the doctor said, turning to Byakuya, "Now then, let's see if I can get you to talk to me. Sometimes people just don't want to talk to police and security people. Well…now it's just you and me. I promise I just want to help you."

She stepped closer.

"You have beautiful eyes! Kami, you look like an angel with that glowing skin of yours! Come on, angel, tell me what cloud you fell off of. I need a name, some way to help you find your way home. Can you tell me your name?"

The dark gray eyes struggled to focus and his lips moved, but no sound came out. The doctor waited.

"Well," she said finally, "I am Doctor Mika…but you can call me Talia. Now, I told you my name. You think you can give me yours? It's only polite, I mean."

She waited and gazed down at him, trying to give him every chance to rise to the surface. Finally, she sighed and shook her head.

"Looks like we'll have to try again tomorrow. It's time for me to go home now, angel, but if you need anything, a nurse will be coming by to check on you every so often."

She checked the soft restraints and looked down at him sympathetically.

"Tell you what," she said softly, "You talk to me? Tell me your name? And I'll see what I can do to get you out of these. You only need them because we don't know you well enough to know what you'll do if we take them off. If you talk to me, you and I can get to know each other and these won't be necessary. I want to see you get better. I want to see you get out of here. Someone like you doesn't belong here…"

She turned and started toward the door.

"B-bya…"

The doctor stopped and turned. The man's eyes were closed now and he seemed to have drifted off. She stepped back to his side and smiled down at him.

"Sweet dreams, Bya. I will be back in the morning and we can talk more then."


	11. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya struggles with his loss of memory.

Byakuya shifted uncomfortably in his sleep, pulling fitfully at the soft restraints and moaning. A deep voice echoed in his mind and he felt hands tighten on his wrists.

_You are my Consort and I am your king. Do you know your place?_

"No…no…let…go…let go!"

His chest heaved and he pulled harder on the restraints. The voice continued to echo strangely in his mind and he felt strong arms take hold of him and force him to the ground. His body was slowly penetrated.

"NO…NO! Stop! Renji…Renji…RENJI!" he screamed.

The door opened and two nurses rushed into the room. One leaned over him, talking soothingly and touching his face gently.

"Come now, it's just a dream…Open your eyes, Bya. It's just a dream…"

She slipped a hand into his and shook her head sadly, feeling the shaking in his body.

"Renji…" he moaned, "Renji…Renji…"

"Easy, Bya, you'll be fine, now, shhh…" the nurse said, continuing the light touches on his face and arm.

The second nurse bent over him, checking his vital signs.

"He's very distressed. I think we need sedation."

The nurse sitting at his side shook her head gently.

"Look, Doctor Mika doesn't like us to just drug them up. It usually just makes things worse. I'll sit with him. It's safe enough with him in restraints. I don't have anything I have to do for a while."

The second nurse looked from her colleague to the lovely face of the restrained man in the bed and sighed.

"Yeah, you're probably right. It would probably just make it worse with him being more out of it. See what you can do with him. I'll be back by in a little while to check his vitals again. If he's still distressed, we have to sedate him."

"Fine," muttered the nurse at Byakuya's bedside, "You know where to find me."

"Yeah," said the other nurse, "I know."

The nurse beside the bed leaned closer to Byakuya, slipping a hand into his and speaking in a soft voice.

"Try to get some sleep now. I'll sit with you for a while. I think it's better if we don't have to give you anything, but you have to work with me."

Byakuya's eyes opened and he struggled to focus.

"Renj…Ren…Renji…What happened to Renji?"

The nurse leaned closer.

"Renji? Is that someone you know? Does he have a last name?"

"A…Ab…arai…Renji…" moaned Byakuya, "Where did they take Abarai Renji?"

"Who is Abarai Renji? What is your name?"

"B-Byakuya…K…Bya…Byakuya…"

"Byakuya," said the nurse.

The dark eyes cleared slightly.

"Can you find Abarai Renji?" he managed softly.

The nurse smiled.

"We'll find your friend in the morning. Sleep, Byakuya. Doctor Mika will come and talk to you in the morning. She'll help you with your nightmares…and we'll try to locate your friend."

Byakuya met her eyes briefly and nodded.

"Arigato…" he whispered, drifting off.

The nurse smiled.

"Try to have better dreams, Byakuya. We'll have you back with your friend, Renji, in no time!" she promised.

She squeezed his hand gently and felt a surge of hope when he did the same to hers.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji slipped into Urahara's shop and removed his cover form, then looked around. Kisuke turned the corner ahead of him and nearly ran into him.

"Ah! Renji, you scared the heck out of me! Come on, we can talk in the training. We need to get where the secret mobile corps can't sense your reiatsu."

Renji followed him down the hallway and down the long ladder into the secret training ground.

"Rukia told me that you and Byakuya were in trouble. Yoruichi went to the Seireitei to try to get information. Spill…What happened? How can we help?"

"It's kind of a long story," Renji said, sitting down.

"That's okay, I've got time," Kisuke assured him, "Tell me what happened."

"Okay, you know that Aizen, Gin and Tousen managed to break into the spirit dimension, right?"

Kisuke nodded.

"Yeah, but we heard they were killed."

"That's true, but what most people don't know is that they managed to kill the entire royal family."

"Shit…not good," muttered Kisuke.

"Yeah, well, Soutaichou told the taichous that to avoid the collision of our worlds, a rebirth had to be attempted. Only Soutaichou knew how it would be done. He chose Byakuya and me to go to the spirit dimension to assist in the rebirth. My body was inhabited by an Interim King whose job it was to gather and render reiatsu, which was then placed in Byakuya's body to be stabilized. When the reiatsu filled him and had stabilized, the new Spirit King emerged from Byakuya's body."

"How was the reiatsu placed in Byakuya's body?" asked Kisuke.

"He was forced to submit to intimacy with the Interim King."

"Bloody hell! That's awful!" exclaimed Kisuke.

"Worse for him, Kisuke," Renji said, shaking his head, "Byakuya had never been taken…so his first experience was being dragged down and forced to have sex with the spirit that was inhabiting my body. And it wasn't just once…it was many times, over several months. By the time he birthed the Spirit King, he was a mess. We came back to the Seireitei and we were met by secret mobile corps. They surrounded us and took us to Soutaichou. Soutaichou told us that our mission had been classified and that our memories of it were to be taken."

"That's not nice…"

"You're telling me! Anyway, Byakuya managed to convince Soutaichou to allow us to keep our memories if we were sworn to secrecy. We were taken to the fourth division where we were supposed to just be medically evaluated, but when we got there, they tried to mind-wipe Byakuya. And because he was so overwhelmed by what happened in the spirit dimension, he lost it and started screaming for me. I grabbed him and tried to run, but we got caught and they took him to the fourth division. I think they were going to move him, but I'm not sure. Rikichi overheard that they were taking him somewhere, but was grabbed before he could tell Rukia anything. When he turned up again, he didn't remember anything."

"Damn! That's bad…but Rukia said in her message to me that Hanatarou overheard that Kuchiki taichou was being taken to the living world."

"So he's here!" Renji exclaimed.

"Yeah," Kisuke agreed, "but the living world is a big place, Renji. We have to figure out where they would stash him. Now, you said he was pretty out of it? Incoherent?"

"Hai…he was not coherent when I saw him last."

"Then, if they're keeping him drugged up, I'm guessing they'll stash him in either a safe house with attendants, a hospital, or an asylum somewhere. I'll have Tessai get on the computer and make up a list of those for us to check out. Now, I know he was incoherent, but did he have any use of his powers or did they seal them away?"

"They probably sealed them away…but they needn't have bothered, because he lost his powers in the spirit dimension and they hadn't returned."

"Okay…I have some really sharp sensing devices that detect even very small amounts of reiatsu and can hone in on life force matter. I'll have Tessai prepare my sensory devices and while we're out looking for Kuchiki taichou, we can use the sensors in our search."

"Brilliant! Good thinking!" exclaimed Renji.

"Thanks! I always try to…"

He stopped abruptly as a hell butterfly fluttered in and settled on his fingertip.

Kisuke, I'm having a lot more trouble than usual getting information. Soi fon is suspicious of everyone and she tried following me. I don't want to lead her back to you, so I'll need more time to get back. Tell Renji that he is wanted for escaping the second division so to be extra careful and wear his cover form when he goes looking for Byakuya. Tell Ichigo to wear a cover form too. It's just too dangerous right now. I'm going to try a couple more avenues to getting information, then I will come and join the search for Byakuya. I might bring Rukia. I'm worried they might try to grab her to get Renji to come out of hiding.

"Well, it looks like the old man is pretty bent on keeping this thing about the king all hush, hush. He's really playing hardball. I think Rukia was right when she said that he was determined. You and Byakuya are in some big trouble."

"Rukia said that if we find Byakuya and take him before the Kuchiki council of elders, the elders may decide to go to war with the Gotei 13. The other clans will be in support of the Kuchiki clan, because no clan wants to see the Gotei 13 overstep its boundaries. This is one of those times when it's a good thing that Byakuya is a clan leader. That's really going to work in our favor. But we have to find Byakuya before the clan will act. They're not going to take the risk of starting an all out war with the Gotei 13 if they don't have actual proof of what has happened to Byakuya. So…it's all about finding him. Now…I want you to stay down here and try to get a little rest while Tessai works on getting that list generated. Don't worry, Renji. We'll find Byakuya."

"We have to, Kisuke," Renji said, desperation in his voice, "He is in really bad shape and if we don't find him soon, then there may not be much of him to rescue!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Doctor Mika knocked lightly on the door to Byakuya's room and then opened it and walked in. Byakuya rested calmly in the bed with his eyes open and gazing up at the ceiling.

"Good morning," she said, sweetly, "I heard you were chatting with one of the nurses last night. She told me your full name is Byakuya. Is that true?"

Byakuya met her eyes, but frowned in confusion.

"I…don't know," he said softly.

"Yes, they said that your lucidity came and went. I ran a check on the name you gave me, Abarai Renji, and I did come up with a high school kid with that name, but I have to send someone to the school today to look for him. I hope it's your friend. We could really use some help figuring out just who you belong to!"

"Abarai…Renji," Byakuya repeated, "Abarai Renji. It feels familiar when I say it…"

"Well…it seemed to be a familiar name to you last night, so it should come back to you. Now, why don't you think for a bit and see if you can't think of anything more you can tell us about yourself. Anything will help…names, places…you know. When you close your eyes, do you see anything in your mind?"

Byakuya closed his eyes.

"Sakura," he said quietly, "I see sakura petals falling!"

The doctor nodded.

"That is good. Now, I think we have established that you are not a danger to yourself or my staff, so I am going to remove the soft restraints for the night. One of the nurses seemed to get the impression that something bad happened to you in which you were restrained. That nurse usually has good instincts, so I'll ask you…Do you remember anything bad happening where you were held down or tied up?"

Byakuya thought carefully and shook his head.

"I…don't remember…"

The doctor leaned over him and began to remove the restraints. As she did, Byakuya looked down at his wrists and his eyes glazed over.  
"No…no…stop…"

"Byakuya?" said Doctor Mika curiously, "Byakuya, what is it?"

Byakuya stared at the restraints and began to pull against them.

"You…can't do this!"

"What is it, Byakuya? Can you tell me what is happening?"

"It's…it's….him…He has his hand around my wrist…and…he…"

"Who is it? Who put his hand on your wrist, Byakuya?"

"He…pushed me onto the ground and…"

He gasped softly and seemed to settle deeper into the bed and become calm and empty eyed. The doctor observed him carefully and sighed softly.

"I'm so sorry, Byakuya," she said softly, "I'm sorry someone hurt you in some way and sorry we haven't been able to help you. Most of all, I'm sorry we can't leave off these stupid restraints."

She leaned over him and touched his face gently. The dark eyes opened and observed her sleepily.

"Try to sleep now, Byakuya. We will talk again later."

She got up and walked to the door, looked back over her shoulder, smiling in farewell and walked out. Byakuya waited until it was quiet, then began testing his restraints. He still felt confused and he was unsure why the people in this place were so intent on keeping him there. He smiled as he noticed that one of the restraints was still loose where the doctor had begun to remove it. Twisting and working at it, he managed after a fashion to get one hand free. After that, it was easy enough to slip the other out. He listened until the hallway was quiet, then slipped out of his bed and listened at the door for the moment. It was too noisy. He turned instead to the window and managed to force it open enough so that he could slip out onto the ledge. He moved along, his back against the building and his hair blowing softly in the breeze. He tried not to look down. He wanted to forget that he had no powers, that if he fell, he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

"Byakuya…" said a soft, feminine voice, "Byakuya, honey, come on back inside, okay? It isn't safe out there for you!"

Byakuya's eyes widened and he began backing away.

"Stop…Byakuya…Honey, no one here wants to hurt you or to see you get hurt. Come back in, okay? Byakuya?"

He backed up another step.

Suddenly, strong arms reached through an open window and grabbed him.

"NO! NO! STOP!" he gasped as he was pulled inside and forced down onto the floor.

And in his fevered mind, he felt hands pulling his clothes away.

"D-don't!" he cried, "D-don't! Renji! I need…Renji…"

Something sharp pricked his arm and the room began to fade around him.

"Renji! Renji…Ren…"

He fell silent and slowly relaxed in the arms of the orderly who had pulled him back inside. The man carefully lifted him and started back to the room he had come from.

"That was very reckless…Kuchiki taichou…" he murmured.


	12. Not Left in Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya's friends try desperately to find him where the Gotei 13 has hidden him.

"Kurosaki Ichigo…please report to the main office…Kurosaki Ichigo…report to the main office…"

"Oh man!" muttered Ichigo, "Like I don't have enough to deal with!"

He sighed heavily and turned toward the office. He grew even more impatient at the sight of the line of students waiting.

"Great! It's not enough I have to skip half of my classes chasing down hollows, now I've got to spend half a day waiting for…"

He had stopped to plop down into a chair to wait, but found his eye distracted by a woman who was standing at the counter, talking to the school secretary.

"He keeps asking for an Abarai Renji. I conducted a search on our computers and your school had a record of a student by that name."

"Yes," said the school secretary, "We do have a student by that name, but he attends infrequently, I'm afraid."

"And there is no way to reach him? This is very important. The patient I told you about is not able to explain exactly who he is, or to tell us anything about himself. He is only partially lucid. But he keeps asking for Abarai Renji."

"Sorry to interrupt," said Ichigo, coming to his feet, "but I can bring Abarai Renji to you. Where is the man who you are talking about?"

The woman turned and regarded Ichigo with a deeply relieved expression.

"Oh, thank goodness! I'm sorry…I am Elisa. I work at the hospital across town. I guess you heard…we have an unidentified patient, a black haired, light skinned male with dark gray eyes…a little under six feet tall. He is very confused. He says his name is Byakuya and that he knows this Abarai Renji."

"Byakuya?"

"Yes, that was the name he gave us."

You say that he is in the hospital across town?"

"Yes," the nurse said, handing him a card, "That is the address. It would be best if you contact Abarai Renji soon. Byakuya is scheduled to be moved to a long term facility today. I just…didn't want to see him go to that place if there was some way to prevent it. He is such a very calm, quiet person…not at all like the others in that place. I would fear for him, having to go to a place like that."

"Well, don't worry," Ichigo assured the woman, "I'll have Renji there in two shakes!"

"You mean…after school hours!" the secretay said sternly, looking over her glasses.

She blinked and stared, suddenly realizing that Ichigo was gone. Shaking her head, she turned back to her work.

_I hope he hurries, thought Elisa, turning to leave, I would hate to see someone like that in that horrible place!_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Riku," Doctor Mika said quietly, "Will you please go and see if the ambulance has arrived? I will wait with Byakuya until they arrive."

"Hai," the orderly said, bowing.

He turned and left the room, leaving the doctor alone with the restrained patient. She sat down next to Byakuya and set her clipboard on the small table next to her. Her eyes were sad as she studied his face, wondering who he really was, where he came from, and what had brought him to such a fate.

"I hate this," she whispered, "the times I can't find an answer. I became a doctor so that I could help people…and I want so much to believe I can help you. If only you hadn't gotten loose…If only you hadn't gone out on that ledge. Byakuya…it's so unfair…the way things happen sometimes. But now they are convinced that you are a danger to yourself…and this hospital cannot provide a safe place for you. But I know. The place they are taking you…It isn't a place you go when you are meant to recover. It is a place you go to be forgotten. And someone like you…is not meant to be forgotten."

She slipped a hand into his and squeezed it gently. The dark, beautiful eyes opened and met hers with calm curiosity. She wanted to cry at the pain she saw there…and she wondered again what could have caused him such pain. Not that it mattered now. Once the ambulance left the hospital, he would be gone…and she would likely never hear his fate.

"Well, there is a last possibility," she whispered to him, "I sent Elisa out to try to find Abarai Renji. If she finds him quickly enough, then maybe…"

But it was a slim hope. Still…any hope would be welcome. She smiled down at Byakuya and felt a soft swell of hope. A moment later, it was shattered as the door opened and the orderly stepped into the room.

"Ah," she said sadly, "is the ambulance here?"

"Not yet," the orderly told her, "It is on the way and will arrive in a half hour."

Doctor Mika nodded.

"Thank you, Riku. Please leave us. I need to conduct a final examination and prepare him for the transfer."

"Hai," the orderly said, bowing.

He paused for a moment, studying the way she was looking at Byakuya.

"I am sorry," he said quietly, "I know you did your best to help him. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. But I will offer you this comfort. I have been told that I am to be transferred to work in the facility where he will be kept. I will make sure that he is treated with kindness and that he is not harmed."

Doctor Mika looked up at him gratefully.

"Thank you. That is a comfort. It is sad there is no way to help him. I do hope that if you watch over him and he is kept safe and comfortable…that someday, he will find himself again."

The orderly bowed his head slightly.

"I hope so as well. And I will make sure he has every opportunity to grow well again."

"Thank you."

"Hai," he said, bowing again and slipping back out the door.

The doctor turned back to Byakuya.

"So you will be watched over," she sighed softly, "It is not an answer, but it is a comfort…and we are lucky to have those comforts when things get difficult."

She felt pressure on her hand and looked down into the lovely, sad eyes.

"Arigato," Byakuya whispered, "It is not your fault."

Her eyes widened.

"Byakuya?"

"Hai," he answered softly.

"You…know yourself again?" she asked.

"I feel…confused. But I know I am Byakuya. And I know I can trust you."

"We are trying to find Abarai Renji," she told him, leaning forward, "I sent Elisa to the school where he was registered."

"The…school?"

"Yes…he is a student at the high school across town from here. And I sent the nurse, Elisa to the school to inquire where he might be found."

"I…don't remember a school. Just…his name. And I think I see his face."

The doctor squeezed his hand again.

"He will come for you, Byakuya. And even if it isn't before your transfer, I will make sure he finds you. I hope that he can help you to remember more."

She opened her mouth to say more, but at that moment, the door opened and two men rushed into the room. The doctor came to her feet quickly as a young man with long red hair and black tattoos approached the bed and smiled down at Byakuya. Byakuya returned his smile uncertainly.

"Renji?" Byakuya whispered, staring.

"Yeah, it's me," Renji said, sitting down next to him, "You ready to get out of here?"

"Hai."

Renji reached for the restraints.

"Wait," the doctor said solemnly, "You can't just take him and go. There are forms to sign, procedures to follow…"

"Hey," said Ichigo from the doorway, "I think he's been through enough. Just…let them go."

The door opened again and the orderly entered with a wheelchair, almost knocking Ichigo down. Looking up, he caught his breath as he recognized Ichigo and Renji.

"You two…"

"Yeah," said Ichigo, "Who the hell are you?"

"I am Riku Atillo, fourth seat of the second division and an officer of the secret mobile corps."

"You were sent to guard him, weren't you?" Renji asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Hai…I am responsible for Kuchiki taichou's protection while he is recovering. I am sorry, Abarai Renji, but Kuchiki taichou is not allowed to have visitors…as per Soutaichou's own order. He doesn't want Kuchiki taichou to encounter anything that will upset him."

"Or help him remember?" Renji asked sarcastically.

"Excuse me," said the doctor, "but do you all…know each other?"

Riku removed a small device from his pocket and pushed a button. A flash of light blinded everyone for a moment, then the doctor slumped in her chair and her eyes closed.

"Nice!" said Ichigo sarcastically, "You know, you guys suck!"

He stepped forward, shifting into shinigami form and drawing his weapon as the officer did the same.

"Get him out of here, Renji," Ichigo said, glaring at the secret mobile corps officer, "I got this jerk!"

"Hey…I'm just doing my job! I've got nothing against Kuchiki taichou. I was actually ordered to protect him."

"Protect him from his own fukutaichou? From his friends and family? C'mon Riku! That's not protection. That's imprisonment!" said Renji disgustedly, "We both know what we're talking about here. Soutaichou might not want him physically hurt…but he did want him out of the way, probably so he didn't have to look at the result of his own mistake. We didn't do anything wrong, Riku. We were just like you…following orders, doing our jobs…and look what it got us. Taichou is half out of his mind with pain…and I know the Gotei 13 is looking for me. I'm a fugitive. All because I took their orders and did my job. How does doing your job feel now?"

Riku's eyes lowered.

"Abarai fukutaichou…I…don't know what to say."

"Look," said Ichigo, "You don't need to say anything. You can do the right thing here. Just turn your back and walk out that door. Let Renji take care of his taichou. Wouldn't you do the same for yours?"

The secret mobile corps officer looked up and met Byakuya's calm gaze. He let out a long sigh and slowly turned to leave.

"I would suggest that you get out of here quickly," Riku advised them, "I will have to raise the alarm and secret mobile corps will be all over this town. Take him somewhere safe and don't get caught. Soutaichou is very upset over what happened to Kuchiki taichou. He blames you for your rash behavior at the fourth division. I know you were only protecting him, but Soutaichou thinks that you are dangerous. Your punishment will be harsh if you are caught."

"We won't get caught," Renji said in a low voice, "I won't let anyone take him away from me again."

The secret mobile corps officer nodded solemnly and walked out of the room. Renji turned back to Byakuya, smiling gently.

"Taichou…are you ready to get out of here?"

"Where are we going?" asked Byakuya.

"Somewhere safe, Taichou," Renji promised, "somewhere where you can really heal."

He lifted Byakuya into his arms and moved to the window. Ichigo sheathed his weapon.

"Where are you taking him?" Ichigo asked.

"To a safe house Urahara told me about. We'll wait there until he's well enough for us to go back."

"It looks like that might be a while, Renji," Ichigo said, studying Byakuya's calm, distant expression.

"Yeah," said Renji, tightening his grip on the noble, "It might be."

He leapt out the window and flash stepped away from the hospital with Ichigo following in his wake. They moved quickly back across town, speaking little. Byakuya looped his arms around Renji's neck and rested his head on the redhead's warm shoulder.

"Relax, Taichou, we'll be there soon," Renji told him quietly.

They crossed a large nature preserve filled with open grassland, large trees and a large crystalline blue lake. Flash stepping up a hillside, they landed on a small residential street and made their way to one of the houses. Renji set Byakuya back on his feet and opened the front door. The three walked inside and Renji turned on the lights and closed the door, locking it behind him.

Byakuya left Renji's side and walked slowly across the room, then dropped into a large overstuffed sofa that looked out a bay window over the lake. He leaned on the armrest, bringing his head to rest on a throw pillow and letting his eyes grow distant again.

Renji's eyes followed him silently, then he turned back to Ichigo.

"Thanks, Ichigo, for helping me get Byakuya out of there."

"No problem." Ichigo said, gazing at Byakuya, "That's what friends are for. I'm going to go back to Kisuke's and let him know what happened."

Renji nodded and watched in silence as Ichigo left, closing and locking the door behind him. Renji felt a shiver go through him as he turned back and walked across the room to where Byakuya sat dozing on the sofa. He sat down next to the noble and gazed at him quietly as the dark eyes opened and he turned to look at Renji.

"Taichou," Renji said softly, "Are you all right?"

Byakuya gave him a heart-melting smile.

"I am not exactly all right," he admitted, "but my heart tells me that as long as I am with you…I will be all right. We will be all right."

"What do you remember?"

Byakuya sighed softly.

"Different things at different times. Things come and go with the sound of a voice, a familiar scent, sometimes with the touch of a person's hand. I know my name is Byakuya and that you are Renji and that I trust you. Sometimes I remember someplace that I know to be home…and another place…a place that was achingly beautiful, but horrible things happened there. I remember feeling my heart break from being betrayed. And I remember being in the dark…until you came back."

"I will never leave you in darkness…or in pain…anymore," Renji promised, reaching out and placing a hand on Byakuya's cheek.

The noble's eyes closed halfway and he nuzzled the hand that touched him, turning to brush his lips against the pad of a thumb. He set one hand on the hand that touched his face and leaned closer to Renji, bringing his lips to the redhead's, meeting him for a light, tentative kiss. Their eyes opened and met for a moment, then their lips moved together again

"I remember now, Renji," Byakuya whispered, "I remember that I was falling in love with you…"

"You were," Renji agreed, "and I was already in love with you."


	13. Falling into Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renji struggles to help Byakuya recover.

"How is it possible," Byakuya whispered, "to know that I was falling for you, but to not remember why or how? I should remember something of those things."

"Maybe," Renji said, tracing the noble's soft lips with a fingertip, "it's because falling in love didn't happen quickly. We've known each other for a long time…sat in the same office, day after day…close, but never touching. And what happened…happened so slowly, so gradually that we didn't see it coming…didn't know it for what it was until it was taken away from us."

"I don't understand," Byakuya said, staring, "How was it taken away?"

"We were sent to the spirit dimension. Do you remember being there? That place…the place you said was so beautiful, but horrible things happened there. When we went there, we were taken away from ourselves. We were taken away from each other. You became the Consort who carried the reiatsu of the new Spirit King. The Interim King inhabited my body and rendered the king's reiatsu, then was intimate with you to place the reiatsu in your body. When the reiatsu stabilized, the new Spirit King emerged from your body."

"I don't remember that."

Renji smiled.

"I'm not sure whether that is good or bad, Taichou. In one way, I understand why Soutaichou wanted you to forget. He saw how much you had suffered and he hated himself for sending you there, even though he felt there had been no choice. Soutaichou is not a bad man…He just…thinks differently than we do sometimes. But then, I think it might be better for you to remember, because I don't want the bad memories to break into your mind and frighten you…and I think you cannot get free of the dark feelings about what happened until you remember and deal with how it all made you feel."

Byakuya slipped a hand into his.

"I know that remembering is important, but this, what we are feeling…This is important too. And we were forced to abandon it out of a sense of duty. We set it aside to find it again when our hearts were freed of responsibility…but by the time that time came…I had become too broken…"

"Taichou," Renji whispered, pulling Byakuya closer, "you are never to broken to allow your heart to feel love…or to feel when you are loved. We went where we had to go. We saw to our responsibilities, and now we need to take care of each other. We need to see to our healing."

He lifted Byakuya and stood, bringing their lips together as he moved across the room and into the bedroom. He set Byakuya down on the bed and the noble slipped beneath the blankets and moved over, making room. Renji gazed at him for a moment, then slipped into bed beside him. He moved so that he leaned over the noble and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Taichou…" Renji breathed softly.

Byakuya touched his lips with a fingertip.

"Don't call me that."

Renji stared at him questioningly.

"I want to be called by my name…I want you to call me Byakuya."

Renji's eyes widened.

"T-taichou…Byakuya…are you sure?"

"Abarai Renji…my name is the only thing I am really sure of right now…besides the way I feel about you. If those are the only two things that are certain, I want to embrace them. I want you to call me by name…"

Renji stared into his eyes.

"Call me by my name, Renji."

He paused a moment longer, his brown eyes locked on Byakuya's.

"Byakuya…"

Byakuya reached up and placed his hands on either side of the redhead's face, pulling him into a deeper kiss, then another…and another. He felt the gentle touch of a questing tongue on his lips and parted them, accepting Renji's soft and gentle exploration of his mouth. He slid his tongue slowly along the one that explored him so lovingly and curled around it, teasing and tempting it further and further inside and moaning softly at the sensation the contact sent through his aching heart and all through his body. A flash of heat passed over him and left him feeling breathless and light. He was surrounded by pleasant touches and tender emotions one moment, then Renji's hand pulled at the tie at his waist and Byakuya suddenly felt the coldness returning.

He didn't want to stop what was happening…because he knew it was what they both wanted…and they had already set it aside to see to their duties. But the assignment was over and their hearts were finally freed to love each other…and whatever had happened in that beautiful and horrible place, he didn't want it to intrude on the beauty of what they were feeling now.

But the feeling of coldness was buried in his core, a coldness that wrapped around his heart and locked out the warmth of what was building between them. Renji's hands had slipped beneath his clothing and moved gently over the planes and curves of his body. Everything about the way he was being touched was gentle and affectionate, but he couldn't help but shiver softly at the feeling of invasion, at the soft clutch of fear that gripped him. He breathed in deeply and exhaled to try to release himself from the feeling.

Renji's mouth left his and traveled slowly down his throat, bathing the skin in light kisses that soothed the ache in his heart and sent warmth flowing back through him. Perhaps, he thought, it would be all right. Perhaps he was ready to move beyond what had happened before and to embrace in its fullness what was happening in this moment.

He held on to that desire and moved forward, sinking his fingers into the redhead's long, silken hair. He opened his eyes and watched Renji's hands play over his pale skin and gazed at his blissful expression as he treasured the soft flesh of throat and chest, as he moved slowly down the length of Byakuya's body, bathing it in healing breath, soothing kisses and touches…every move filled with desire and love.

His heart beat faster, sending soft, dizzy waves through his tired mind. He closed his eyes again and immediately wished he hadn't, as he encountered upon doing so a hard flash of memory.

_You are my Consort and I am your king. Do you know your place?_

His breath caught sharply and he flinched beneath the loving hands and mouth that still moved over his body, slowly learning its planes and curves and hollows, its sensitive areas…

_You are my Consort…_

He opened his eyes to see again the loving brown eyes and black tattoos, but the sun was streaming into the window and bathing their skin in brightness, turning it golden. He couldn't see properly. And the eyes of the man on top of him were closed…

_I am your king…_

"No…" he whispered.

But the warm mouth moved downward and wrapped around his hardened length, sliding up and down its length and tormenting him gently with strokes of a wickedly skillful tongue. Soft fingertips pleasured the sac at its base as that devilish mouth sucked hard, and he felt the fingers moved downward, touching him lightly, then beginning to push into him.

_Do you know your place?_

His mind screamed and a hard shiver went through him. He tried again to reassure himself that this was Renji, that they were in the living world, that this was what he wanted.

_Why are you crying?_

He turned his head away, arching his back as Renji's mouth continued to pleasure him and the gentle fingers carefully prepared him.

_Why are you crying?_

His chest heaved and he thought he might have made some kind of sound, a small, wounded cry…but he couldn't be sure.

_Why are you crying?_

The mouth released him and he felt Renji moving, rising up over him. He couldn't look, couldn't turn his head to see, couldn't bear the thought of those cold, golden eyes, of the methodical touches and the relentless penetration of his body.

He heard a soft gasp of realization and all of the touches ceased. He felt himself being lifted and pulled close, wrapped in warm, affectionate arms.

"Kami, why didn't you say anything? Why did you let me keep going on like that? Byakuya, I'm sorry…I wasn't trying to hurt you, I swear. What did I do? What did I do wrong?" Renji whispered miserably.

Byakuya buried his face in the thick red hair, breathing in and out slowly and trying to stop the hard spinning of his thoughts, trying to force out the words he wanted to say. He wanted to say he was all right, that it wasn't Renji's fault, that he didn't want to stop. But he couldn't trust his voice and he was shaking so hard and felt so awfully cold inside that he couldn't move, let alone speak.

"Byakuya…please, say something. Byakuya…I'm sorry."

A strange numbness began to steal over him and the room began to fade around him. He thought he heard Renji's voice, but it blended with the cold voice of the king, with the stern voice of an old man, with the solemn, bored monotone of a group of noble elders. His heart was beating too fast and the light coming through the window was too bright. He was blinded and falling, lost somewhere between worlds. Renji's voice had disappeared into a sea of pain and a deep darkness, that stole over the room and swallowed the light.

But somehow as he fell, a pair of loving arms managed to reach him, to curl around him and hold him. He was poised on the edge of madness, on the verge of a complete loss of self. He could feel the abyss and the strength of the arms that held him away from it.

And he decided that he wasn't going to let go and let himself be lost. Instead, he clung to the loving, warm arms and let his eyes close, and sank back on the bed and let sleep overtake him.

He ached for the one who was holding him, the one whose hold on him was so secure, the one whose voice was filled with the ache of intense sadness, the one whose tears had joined his own.

And he realized that recovery wasn't just something that was difficult for him. It was every bit as difficult for this one who had chosen to stay with him through everything, who had willingly taken on the weight of his shattered heart and resolved that he would be the one to see it was mended, healed, made whole again.

He knew he couldn't leave that other to feel alone, lost and cold in the darkness of what was happening. They had resolved to share this…to support each other, not to leave each other alone. He reached down inside himself and forced out the smallest of whispers as the darkness swept over him and he drifted away.

"R-renji…"

He could feel the trembling of that other body and he felt a tear splash onto his skin…and the soft, plaintive voice that pleaded with him to surface, to open his eyes, to say something. But he had lost the ability to speak again…and his mind was fading away. He sank deeper into the arms that held him and let everything around him disappear.

_XXXXXXXXXX_

Renji held Byakuya's unresponsive body against him and ignored the tears that streamed down his own face. He reminded himself that he had known that recovery wasn't something that would happen overnight…or in days, or even weeks. Byakuya was going to need months, perhaps years to recover, to regain his confidence, to fully move beyond what he had been made to become.

And he should have been more sensitive to that…

_What the fuck was I thinking, trying to make love with him like that? It was selfish, damned selfish…He wasn't ready. If I'd taken a moment to think about what was best for him instead of what I was feeling, I wouldn't have hurt him like that. What am I doing? What made me think that I could heal him? What made me think I was smarter than the healers who tried to help him? Why did I think that he would suddenly look at me and not need help anymore. I'm not a god…I'm not a healer…And right now, I was about as cold in what I tried to do as the one who shattered him._

_And look at him…_

_He's so damned broken that he can't even move! He's lying there like a stone in my arms. He can't even speak to me. I don't know how to help him. I don't know how to bring him back._

"What was I thinking?" Renji whispered, "I really wasn't trying to hurt you. I am in love with you and I know you feel the same. But you can't speak the words, right now. Your mouth can't form the words…and your body can't move. You're trapped in your own mind, locked away with the memories of what happened in that other place…with that other person…the one who used me to break you. I wish that I knew the way to bring you back again. I wish I knew what words or thoughts, what actions would break through and make you come back again. But I don't know…and I can't do those things. The one thing I can do is to hold you. I can wrap my arms around you and I know that wherever you've gone, you will still feel them. I know it because I can feel you holding on. You wouldn't be holding on so tightly if you didn't feel my arms around you."

"R-renji…"

"That's right…You know whose arms are holding you, Byakuya. You know. Even though you are lost and it feels like you're a thousand miles away, our hearts are closer than that. We can still feel each others' hearts. Hold on to that. Now rest, sleep, let everything fade away. It will help if you sleep for a while. And when you wake up again, I will be here. And I swear to you, I will never hurt you like that again. I won't let it happen again, I promise."

He fell silent, laying back against the pillows, holding Byakuya against one shoulder and watching the light turn golden-orange and red as it began to fade. He was thankful for the cooling darkness that followed, for the descent into night, so that he could close his eyes and try to distance himself by sleeping.

But sleep refused to come…

He couldn't clear his mind of the shattering blow to his heart, when he rose up over Byakuya, the taste of that pale, sweet flesh still pleasuring his mouth, the warmth of the love he felt so strong inside him. To have felt so much, only to have it destroyed, broken by the impossible sight of Byakuya's face drenched in tears, turned aside…his body taut. Why hadn't he felt it sooner? Why hadn't he known to stop? Why had he even let it begin? He should have known Byakuya wasn't ready. There were no two ways about it.

He should have known…

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into the soft, black sakura scented hair.


	14. His Possession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji give in to their desires.

Renji felt the first gentle touches and found himself in the midst of the most beautiful dream he had ever experienced. He knew that it had to be a dream, because the lips and breath that touched his skin were too light and perfect to have been made by anything but a divine creature. And the moonlit white skin…and the raven black hair that danced on breezes that seemed to come from nowhere…couldn't have been the possession of any but what the living world folk called angels.

This was…and wasn't Byakuya. The shape of face and body was that of Byakuya, but this creature's eyes sparked with life and passion. His touches on Renji's body were perfect and placed with the confidence of one who had done so many times before. It was as though he was reading the redhead's mind. So in tune with the ebb and flow of Renji's emotions and passions, he was left stunned and overtaken with desire and far too entranced to resist.

He stared at the white touches of moonlight that shined on his hair…and how his skin glowed and sparkled like white gold. And all of the light brought into perfect focus a body that had to have been handmade by the Spirit King himself. There was no possibility in Renji's mind that this creature could have been born of shinigami parents. He was far too beautiful.

_This can't be real. That can't be Byakuya, can it? But his hands feel like my taichou's hands and I know from touching him when we were together that I'm looking at his body. But Byakuya's powers haven't returned…and he is far too damaged yet to be doing something like this…_

The soft, lovely mouth found his and Renji was treated to the sweetest of kisses, filled with heat and white fire, as a body that radiated light and warmth settled onto his.

_Kami, I've never had a dream this good…so good…so perfect…_

He felt the gentle questing touch of the other's tongue on his lips and yielded before he made a conscious decision to do so. His lips parted and that hungry, searching appendage plunged inside and captured his, touching and tasting, pleasuring so deeply that Renji felt like he was spellbound, held by beautiful sakura ropes he couldn't see, but that were wielded by this being who didn't just know him…but who lived and breathed with him. He moaned and opened his mouth wider as the other pushed in farther, exploring Renji with half-closed eyes and a blissful expression.

_No one has ever done this to me before…_

_How does he know…_

_Ah…kami…how does he know me like this?_

He knew he had never experienced a kiss so intimate, one so bent on finding and touching and pleasuring…one that left no part of his mouth forgotten.

_This…is a dream, right? Kami, this can't really be Byakuya, can it?_

But as his mouth left Renji's, the redhead opened his eyes again and met those others. And they were his taichou's eyes…deep and gray and as beautiful as he remembered them, but he had never seen Byakuya's eyes sparkle as though there were stars somewhere beneath him. And Byakuya's gaze had never been filled with such emotion. They had made Renji feel cold sometimes, or scared shitless…but they had never made him feel so desired, so prized, so deeply treasured…

_Shit! I can't move!_

_And what if this is real?_

_And what if he's just lost his senses?_

_I can't tell if this is real or not!_

_Damn!_

The other's regal head bowed as he leaned forward again. And the hair fell forward with him, dancing down over the left side of his face, spilling over his shoulders and falling down to tease Renji's trembling flesh as that perfect mouth traced its way down the side of his face, as sweet breath tickled throat and ear and as pleasant nips and suction drew a deep, languid moan from Renji's lips, sending his head into a hard spin.

_I…have to ask…_

_I…have to know…_

"B-byakuya?" he managed in a whisper.

Soft fingertips touched his lips, stilling the words he wanted to say. The night-fired eyes rose to meet his and the gentle, deep voice softly intoned…

"You needn't speak my name…"

And Renji was left immobilized, held down and pleasured by the body above him, trapped by his calm, loving presence, made prisoner by the emotions and sensations that rocketed through him as the lovely, pale form slowly worked its way down his body.

Slender, pale hands followed the curves of his chest as the other's head bowed again and the long, wild strands of black silk teased his skin, while that hungry, perfect mouth descended on his body again, lazily devouring the skin along a collarbone, pausing to sink his tongue into the hollow where the collarbones met, lowering his lips to brush along the strong pectorals and extending a lustful pink tongue to pleasure one already erect nipple, then the other. Renji felt a dizzying flash of heat pass over his skin. He was falling so far beneath the raven-haired beauty's spell that he worried he might never break free.

_And what if this isn't a dream?_

_What if it's really him?_

_And what if this will make things worse?_

_What…if…?_

But that beautiful tongue stole his ability to reason. It stroked deeply, making a line from sternum to navel before sinking inside and leaving Renji breathless and panting as the wet mouth closed over the area and warm suction sent hard shivers through the redhead, leaving him speechless, but not unmoving.

He couldn't help moving. Caught beneath the strong, slender hands that held him so tightly and pleasured by that sweet, persistent mouth, his hips were writhing and moans of pleasure were rising out of him…and he could feel moisture on the skin of his blushing, weeping arousal.

And there was no question where that beautiful, sinful mouth was going next. Any doubts Renji might have had were swept away as the mouth left his navel and made a line of breathy kisses following the path of fine red hairs, down to the thick bed of curls beneath. There was a pause and a puff of heated breath on the part of him waiting to be touched, and Renji looked into the lovely creature's eyes again and wanted nothing more then than to die in this man's arms.

He felt tears in his eyes, because he knew now that it wasn't a dream. It was too real and the emotions too deep. Byakuya might have lost his senses, but this was him, outlined in moonlight and stars, filled with strength and desire, his power blazing all around him. It could be no one else, Renji knew. Because no one else knew him the way Byakuya did. No one had ever gotten close enough to live beneath his skin, to breath his spirit in and exhale him this way, to make him shiver with love and pleasure from head to toe. Renji had been in other relationships and had given and taken pleasure.

But not like this…

Not pleasure that gripped him so firmly…

That made him feel like the floor had dropped away beneath him…

That made him feel like the worlds had ended and had flown apart into tiny particles…

His heart raced at a breakneck pace beneath a chest that heaved with the effort of keeping up…and the dark gray eyes observed him carefully, the wickedly sweet lips curving upward as they lowered to take him in. The warm lips teased their way down the long shaft and wrapped around the soft sac at its base, sucking gently, first one side, then the other. And Renji couldn't stifle another deep, impatient moan as the pink tongue extended again, tasting the hot skin along the shaft, sliding slowly upward, then moving lightly over the head to taste the fluid that leaked furiously from the tip. The dark eyes met his again, this time warm and playful. He had never seen laughter touch Byakuya's eyes…but it happened here. And Renji could feel the silent laughter as the eyes lowered again and the soft lips wrapped around him and slid down his length, then returned.

"Ah…hah…B-bya…" he moaned, "It is you…I…know it has to be…"

Deep suction and heavy strokes of that pleasant tongue stole his words away and a soft cry of intense pleasure escaped him…and he felt himself growing close.

He didn't want Byakuya to stop, didn't want this to end, but he couldn't last much longer. He couldn't hold back, being tormented so beautifully. He was losing control…or in fact had given over control to this wonderful, enchanting lover, this person he had hardly dared to believe could be his taichou, his Byakuya.

_But it is!_

_Oh, I know it is!_

_It just couldn't be anyone else who could do this to me!_

It took Renji a moment to realize that the mouth had left him, that his beautiful, divine lover was sitting up next to him, running his fingertips down a muscular arm…lacing their fingers together, lifting his hands to the lips that had taken him nearly to the brink of insanity. He kissed Renji's fingers lightly, the dark eyes latching onto his, radiating adoration and affection. Then oh kami he was moving, rising up over Renji and straddling his body…resting his weight on his knees and one hand, while the other reached down and positioned Renji.

"W-wait, Bya…"

But the glowing body sank down and Renji froze at the flash of pain he saw in his lover's eyes as the barriers were broken and he was taken into his lover's seething core. He gasped and tried to ask if Byakuya was all right…if he was hurt…if they should stop. But Byakuya was lifting his upper body away, moving the slender, pale hands to rest them against Renji's still-heaving chest as his head bowed for a moment to regain its calm countenance.

A shaky breath later, he was moving again, moving up and down Renji's length in heavy, mind-bending thrusts, his eyes glazed over and relieved of his senses, his lips parted and trembling. Somehow, Renji regained enough equilibrium to slide a hand down between them, to wrap around Byakuya's swollen erection and to slide up and down in time with Byakuya's motions.

He couldn't help but stare at the beautiful sight of Byakuya, surrounded in white light and power…radiating such deep warmth and looking so alive. He sank into the dark, senseless eyes and felt something opening between them. Because this wasn't just sex…or even making love. This was an opening of hearts and a binding of souls. And Renji knew that after this, there would be no one else. After this, his soul knew only Byakuya's and Byakuya's would know only his.

"B-byakuya…" he moaned softly.

Byakuya's body continued to rise and fall against his.

"You needn't say my name…" came the barely audible whisper.

And suddenly Renji remembered…

He remembered coming up out of the water…

And seeing Byakuya standing nearby, his eyes watching warily as he was approached…

He remembered taking Byakuya's wrist, taking him by the chin…and glaring down at him and feeling nothing…

And the cold words he said…

_We have no need for names here…_

_You are my Consort and I am your king…_

_Do you understand your place?_

But that wasn't him! He wasn't cold like that! But he remembered his arms wrapping around Byakuya's taut body, lowering him to the ground. He felt the shaking and the heaving of his breast, the terror rising up inside until he used his power to make Byakuya senseless…to make him unable to respond. And his body had gone slack and his eyes had become empty as his body was carefully prepared and used…and abandoned…

_It wasn't me…_

_I'm not like him…_

_I could never do those things…_

But even so, Renji knew that his body had been used to commit those acts of invasion…of coldness…No matter who Renji was or what he felt…or what he would or wouldn't do…He had surrendered his body to be used to make the new Spirit King, giving up control, just as Byakuya had. And part of what he had been used to do was to use Byakuya repeatedly against his wishes. And the one he gave over his control to had gone even further, using Byakuya's body, not just for the purpose of making the king, but for his own pleasure. And when he took Byakuya for pleasure, he always took him from behind, because he knew what he would see if he looked at his consort's face.

Pain…

Sorrow…

Devastation…

But they weren't in that place now. They had returned home and despite the betrayal, the separation, the fight to find each other, they were together now. And nothing would separate them again…nothing.

And Byakuya was not shaking with fear, but with intense pleasure. His face showed no sign of pain or sorrow or devastation. He moved with power, with confidence, with pride. And the sounds he was making weren't sounds of pain, but the soft, beautiful moans of a lover nearing release.

His movements became more ragged and his breaths released in short, heavy gasps. His fingers dug into the skin of Renji's chest and he was shaking so hard that Renji could see he was near the point of collapse. He reached down and pulled hard on Byakuya's writhing hips, at the same time, thrusting upward hard, pushing in deeper, finding the center of pleasure in his lover's core.

The gray eyes went wide and black and Byakuya threw his head back, his body arching in complete bliss as hot seed exploded out of him, pouring in searing white bursts onto Renji's chest and abdomen. His arms gave way and he collapsed onto his lover's chest, his body seized with deep, keening cries, weakening and falling still again, exhausted and unable to move except to draw and release breath.

Renji thrust upward one last time, emptying himself into Byakuya's depths, then wrapping his arms tightly around that still-glowing and beautiful body, holding it hard against his own and returning to Byakuya's mouth to pleasure it with an exchange of slow, open-mouthed kisses.

"Byakuya…" he moaned between kisses, "Aishiteru yo…aishiteru yo…"

The noble's eyes remained closed, his body motionless now on top of Renji's except for the slow inhale and exhale of breath. Renji thought he must have been overwhelmed and had fallen asleep, so he brought the damp face to rest on his shoulder and lay still, gazing out the window at the stars and feeling the slow return of his senses.

He wondered what it was that had made Byakuya regain himself like that…and if it meant that he was getting better. He hoped Byakuya was getting better. He'd been through so much.

But something nagged at Renji. Something told him that things weren't quite right…

And all his illusions were shattered when he whispered again in the noble's ear.

"Byakuya…aishiteru yo."

The dark eyes opened and fastened obediently on his.

"You needn't call me by name…"

He felt a sinking sensation.

"I am your Consort and you are my king…"

Tears came to his eyes.

"I understand my place."

And Renji's heart shattered.


	15. When a Diamond Shatters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya falls apart and Renji despairs at not knowing how to help him.

This is what happens when a diamond shatters…

"Byakuya," Renji said, sitting up and pulling the noble up with him.

But Byakuya's body was limp and lifeless, the power and life draining away before Renji's eyes.

Falling apart into perfect pieces…

He was cold and shaking, and his eyes were wide and empty. He fell against Renji and the only part of him that still seemed alive were the slender hands that clung to Renji. His head dropped onto Renji's shoulder and Renji could feel the tears beginning again.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, "I didn't know…"

They sparkle so bright…

He took the noble's face in his hands and stared down into the dark, empty eyes, looking for some sign of the person who had been there before. But it was like falling into oblivion. The tears welled up and overflowed, but there was no expression beneath them.

"I know you can hear me. I know you're still here!"

The broken bits still reflecting the light…

Renji lowered him onto the bed again and touched his face and hair. His trembling hands squeezed the noble's and he whispered his name, calling to him over and over. He searched for signs of injury, anything else to explain how suddenly he had gone. He pulled the blankets back and searched everywhere, stopping with a catching of his breath when he saw blood.

This is what happens when a heart surrenders…

It wasn't enough to be a serious injury…and Renji knew why it was there. And, kami, he knew why Byakuya had fallen on him that way. It wasn't love…or a choice…It was subservience. And it tore at Renji's heart like the cut of a zanpakutou.

The precious lifeblood slips right through your fingers…

"I hurt you…" he whispered brokenly, "but I'm not going to leave you like this. I'm going to take care of you…and you'll come back to me."

He leaned over Byakuya, gently kissing his face, ignoring the tears that streamed down his own.

"Aishiteru yo…aishiteru yo…aishiteru yo…" he whispered, lifting Byakuya into his arms again and rocking slowly back and forth, "I won't leave you. I promise…I promise that I'll find a way to heal you."

Crimson splashes on white skin…

He set Byakuya back against the pillows and moved over his body from head to toe with hands extended and healing power flaring, able to make the physical signs disappear, to make his body white and perfect again…but not to rid him of the memories.

And it was the memories that were stealing him away from himself…

The slow exhale, where dying begins…

"I'm not the Interim King," Renji whispered, placing a hand over Byakuya's steadily beating heart, "I was used to hurt you…but I never would have agreed to what he did…I couldn't have let myself be used that way, if I had known."

He slowly set Byakuya's yukata back in place and tied it at the waist.

"I would rather let all the worlds end than hurt you."

"Let go," says a voice inside…

"Do you feel it?" whispered Byakuya suddenly, his eyes still closed.

Renji stared as a trembling hand took his and brought it beneath the yukata, setting it on the soft flesh of Byakuya's lower abdomen.

"I'm not empty inside anymore…"

"Byakuya?" Renji breathed, still staring, "Bya…"

"It's okay now. As long as it lives inside, there is hope we will go home soon."

"Let go of your strength, your love, your pride, your life…"

"Can't you hear me?" Renji said, choking on his tears, "Byakuya, can't you hear me at all?"

The dark eyes opened and looked up into his and the soft brow furrowed in confusion. Pale fingertips rose and touched the tears on Renji's face, the Byakuya stared at them questioningly.

"Have I failed you in some way?" he asked softly, "I've done my best to serve you well. But perhaps I've fallen short somehow."

"No…" Renji sobbed softly, "You've been perfect. I loved you the way that you were…even though you could sometimes be cold, I always knew there were things there that I just couldn't see…things you couldn't express…"

This is what happens when a trust is broken…

Byakuya gave a sudden, soft gasp and one hand slid down to his midsection.

"What is it? Are you in pain?" Renji asked, placing a hand on his.

"Why are you telling me to let it go?" Byakuya whispered, "If it goes away, I'll be empty again. I can't let this go…"

"What are you saying? Are you remembering…?"

He gave a soft cry of pain and released a trembling exhale.

"No…no…no…please don't make me let go of him…"

And sweet innocence is gently stolen…

"R-renji? You came back…"

"Byakuya, I never left you."

The dark eyes wavered with confusion.

"Did I…did I lose the king's reiatsu?"

"We aren't there anymore…"

"Taichou…you called me Taichou…and I could see your eyes had changed…and your markings were black…That's how I knew it was you and not him…"

"I'm here…I'm here to take care of you."

No trick of the light…

"Byakuya, you need to rest now," Renji said, placing his hands on the noble's face.

He focused for a moment, sending slow waves of power through his hands. Byakuya's eyes dimmed and faded. His body went limp and his breathing went quiet. Slowly, his eyes closed.

Renji pulled his hands away and remained kneeling at his side, his mouth dry, his face wet, his heart broken. He wondered what came next…if Byakuya could be helped out of the place he was in. And could that help come from him…or could he be making things worse?

He needed help…

He couldn't do this on his own and he knew it…

When you know it's the end, but still you fight…

He knew that someone would come to check on them soon. And when they did, he had to know where to go…what to do. He considered his options. Hanatarou was good for healing, but he wouldn't have the slightest idea how to mend a broken heart. The doctor in the hospital where Byakuya had stayed crossed his mind. But Riku had taken her memories of all of them and even if he restored them…it would take time…and she had seemed convinced he needed some kind of help that she couldn't offer. Orihime was a possibility, but her powers were directed at healing injury, preventing loss of life. Tessai, too, was a capable healer, but again, skilled in matters of the body, not so much matters of the heart.

"Let go," says a voice inside…

Byakuya shifted uncomfortably in his sleep, and Renji found himself surprised by that. He had used a very strong sleep induction. Byakuya should have slept without moving for several hours. It left Renji wondering what was driving him. What was pushing him through the memories?

He stroked the raven black hair and planted soft kisses on brow and lips.

"Sleep, Byakuya, you need to sleep some more. You'll feel better when you've rested. Things will get clearer…I promise."

But he had to wonder if he was really telling the truth.

"Let go of your strength, your love, your pride, your life…

A knock on the door brought Renji to his feet. He tied the yukata at his waist and left the bedroom, stepping out into the living area. He crossed the room and reached out with his senses. Breathing a sigh of relief, he opened the door and let Yoruichi in.

"Kami, I'm glad to see you!" Renji exclaimed.

Yoruichi studied him for a moment, taking in the worn, shattered look and shaking her head.

"He's in bad shape, isn't he?" she asked.

Her expression told Renji that he didn't have to answer aloud.

This is what happens when a diamond shatters…

She flash stepped to the bedroom, opening the door and looking down at the face of the one who had been the strongest of the shinigami. There was no strength in him now. His face was deathly pale, his eyes, when they opened, empty and dull. He lay unmoving and staring straight ahead, seemingly unaware of her, even when she climbed onto the bed and took his hand in hers.

"Oh, Renji…this is awful! It must have been horrible…in that place…alone with the Interim King. He must have felt so lost…so alone…"

She stroked his hand gently.

"And when he came back…to be lied to by the people he trusted…to have them corner him like that! To have them try to take his memories by force…and having no power to stop them…"

Falling apart, into perfect pieces…

"I need you to stay with him," Renji said, staring down at Byakuya, "I have to go and get some help for him…for us. I think I know who, but it will be dangerous."

"Perhaps I should go," suggested Yoruichi, "I can move around unnoticed. I might have a better chance than you of avoiding detection."

He knew it was the truth. He knew that where help would be found was the last place he should go. But he was afraid now.

What if he was the reason that Byakuya was having these delusions?

What if his very presence was complicating his lover's recovery?

Could it be that it was better for Byakuya if he stayed away?

They sparkle so bright…

Yoruichi stared into his eyes and it seemed to Renji as if she could read his thoughts perfectly.

"Don't do that to yourself, Renji," she cautioned, "Don't talk yourself into thinking that he's better off without you. Running away from the cause of his pain won't help him to defeat it."

She touched Byakuya's cheek with soft fingertips.

"I know it's difficult, facing the darkness he has inside him, but you know him better than anyone. You have the best chance of seeing him through."

"I was the one who was used to hurt him," Renji said bitterly, "I agreed to be used and I was used to hurt Byakuya over and over."

"That," Yoruichi said quietly, "is why you need to be the one at his side. It will bring out the pain…and then the two of you can defeat it together."

The broken bits still reflecting the light…

"Can we?" Renji asked, his eyes filling with tears, "Because I'm not so sure…"

"Of course you can," Yoruichi assured him, "Renji, I can feel what's between you. It's very, very strong. And it is more than enough to conquer the darkness that has taken hold of him. Love was made to break through the darkness. But you have to believe in it…know it…trust it."

He swallowed hard, gazing down at the still-senseless noble.

"Okay," he said, hardly daring to release the words, "I will. I will trust it. I'll stay here with him…but I need you to bring someone…quietly, without getting caught, and without letting anyone follow you back. If she refuses, then get out of there. I don't want you swept up in this."

"I won't get caught. I promise. Who am I going to find?"

"Unohana taichou."

You can't make it whole again…

"Good choice," Yoruichi said encouragingly.

She climbed off the bed and wrapped her arms around Renji, kissing him gently on the cheek.

"I will be back with her before you know it."

"What if she won't help us? What if she threatens to give us away?"

Yoruichi shook her head.

"Your instincts are telling you to trust her and I believe they are right to do so. You and Byakuya are both going to be fine, but you need help getting through the worst of this. Unohana taichou can help you. I know she can. And I believe she will. She doesn't let anything stop her from doing the right thing."

She flash stepped to the door and turned back for a moment.

"Everything will be all right, Renji. Stay with him, hold him, comfort him. I will be back with help soon."

She turned and disappeared out the door.

Just keep the pieces safe in your hand…

Renji realized that if he was going to see Byakuya through this, he needed to take care of himself. He went to the kitchen and made himself eat lightly before turning back to join Byakuya in the bedroom. When he entered the room, Byakuya was sitting up and looking around the room curiously.

"You woke up…" Renji said softly.

"Is it time?" Byakuya asked, "Has the reiatsu been rendered?"

He asked the question as though he was asking about the weather. And he gazed up at Renji with what looked like a lucid expression, waiting for an answer. Renji sat down on the bed and took Byakuya's hands in his.

"I know you don't hear me right now and I understand that you're remembering the one who used me to hurt you. I can't stop what's happening inside you…but I am here for you."

You can't make it whole again…

"The reiatsu isn't rendered? Then why have you come?"

Renji watched sadly as his eyes darkened and went dull again and he turned until he was lying on his stomach. He rested there, shivering slightly and waiting. He knew what it meant, what Byakuya was waiting for…

He stretched his body alongside Byakuya's and stroked his hair and back gently.

"I am not the Interim King," Renji said softly, "I am Abarai Renji…your Renji. Byakuya, I want you to try to remember."

His face was turned away from Renji, but the redhead heard him sigh softly. He kept his hands on Byakuya's body, the touches light and gentle and his voice low.

"Byakuya…It's me…It's Renji…aishiteru yo…aishiteru yo…my Byakuya…my love…my Taichou…"

There was a light catching of breath and Byakuya's head turned, his eyes brightening as they came to rest on Renji's.

"R-renji?" Byakuya whispered.

And the next thing Renji knew, Byakuya had risen to his knees and was holding on to him for dear life.

Just keep the pieces safe in your hand…


	16. Not So Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya begins a slow recovery.

Renji didn't know what to expect when he woke the next morning still wrapped in Byakuya's arms. After exchanging more than a few very relieved kisses at finding himself back in Renji's arms, Byakuya had settled into those arms again for the rest of the night, falling into a deep, comfortable sleep…and was still sleeping when Renji woke with his stomach growling and headed to the kitchen to make some food. He prepared some for Byakuya as well and walked back to the bedroom, stopping for a long steadying breath before entering the room.

Byakuya sat, leaned back against the pillows, gazing out the window with a distant look in his eyes. Renji felt a twinge of concern, but Byakuya's head turned and the calm gray eyes came to rest on Renji's. He read the concern in the redhead's eyes and smiled encouragingly.

"Good morning, Renji," he said quietly.

"Good morning, Taichou," Renji replied, smiling back at him.

"Renji, I told you that you should call me by my name," Byakuya corrected him.

Renji set the tray of food down in front of him and watched as he began to eat, then sat down next to him on the bed, eating as well.

"I like calling you Taichou," Renji said around a mouthful of food, "You always respond to it…better than when I use your name. Maybe because you're so used to hearing me say it."

Byakuya sighed.

"And perhaps because he would use my name, once I explained the importance of doing so. Now I rather wish I hadn't…"

"It wasn't a mistake for you to want to be treated with respect, Taichou," Renji said softly.

"No," Byakuya agreed, "but considering the circumstances, it might have made things easier if we hadn't spoken to each other at all. The Interim King was there for one reason, as was I. I was the one who asked for the personal touches…for him to call me by name, for us to share a bed, for him to attempt shows of affection. He didn't understand those things at all. And all it did was make him desire me…more than he was meant to. And as a result, I was used for the purpose of his pleasure as well."

Renji frowned.

"Taichou, please don't blame yourself for wanting to be treated lovingly. You were in an impossible situation. You shouldn't have had to share you 'first time' with someone so devoid of emotion, someone so cold. And no matter what basic courtesies you asked him for, it didn't give him the right to be intimate with you for his own pleasure. It was wrong and he knew it. That is why he never looked at your face at those times. And Taichou, he most likely would have desired you anyway, because you are beautiful. As cold as he was, he couldn't have helped but noticed that."

Byakuya lowered his eyes.

"Perhaps you are right…I don't know."

Renji set his plate aside and leaned over to give Byakuya a light kiss on the lips. Then he sat next to Byakuya with his legs curled beneath him, watching as the noble finished eating.

"So, how are you feeling, Taichou?" he asked softly.

Byakuya glanced up at him, considering his question.

"Better…clearer. I do find myself slipping away some at some times. Sometimes there will be something that touches my senses and reminds me…and then it's like I fade out and find myself back there again."

He paused, searching for the right words before continuing.

"And I feel things that I know can't be right…"

"Like what, Taichou?" Renji asked.

"Well," Byakuya said, gazing up at him, "the king's reiatsu became sentient before the birth…and I was able to connect with the reiatsu. We experienced exchanges of emotion and sensation. And as the time of birth grew near, our bond became very strong. It ended up being so strong that it was difficult for me to just leave him when he was born and it was our time to go. It remains strong enough to bring a feeling of emptiness. I've felt that ever since we left the spirit dimension…until I woke up this time. I feel different now…less empty, less alone. I don't know how else to describe it."

Renji smiled bracingly.

"Perhaps it's because you're getting better."

He looked away for a moment.

"You scared the hell out of me…"

Byakuya shrugged off the comment in a way that told Renji that he was indeed returning.

"I think it wouldn't be the first time, Abarai fukutaichou."

It made Renji somewhat sad that it seemed unusual to be addressed by his position. It made him feel as though it had been forever since they had shared the battlefield together. But he was coming back to himself. Renji was intelligent enough to know that there were going to be setbacks…especially if he and Byakuya were going to continue their physical relationship. But whether or not they did continue it in the near future, something told Renji that it would continue eventually. He was that certain that he was meant to be with Byakuya. And even though Byakuya had been out of his mind at the time, maybe…

"Renji, what is on your mind?"

"Huh?" he said, startled out of his thoughts.

_Byakuya noticed…perhaps he has always noticed my moods…I actually think we've established that he did…but he never really…_

"Renji?" Byakuya queried again.

Renji sighed softly.

"It's…I guess it's not that important, but…ah…"

He couldn't find the words.

"But?" Byakuya prompted him.

_Damn that cute expression! It's sweet, but distracting…He's never looked at me that way before._

"But I wondered. Do you…remember what happened last night?" he asked, hating himself for bringing it up.

It wasn't just because they had had mind bending sex…not just sex, but they had made love like that and he had felt that bond opening. Could it be that although he was half out of his mind…that part could have been…real? But how could he ask Byakuya something like that?

Byakuya lowered his eyes and Renji felt a pang of fear. It happened so fast, those shifts between reality and insanity that he was never quite sure what would happen when Byakuya looked away from him. His heart pounded painfully in his chest and he swallowed hard.

"I remember."

Renji was a little stunned…and also a bit…hopeful.

"You do?"

"Hai, I might have lost my senses, but I was still aware of who I was with."

Renji's eyes narrowed.

"But…after, you said…you repeated what he had said to you."

His heart still refused to slow down.

"Renji…sometimes when the self is not prepared to shoulder the weight of an issue forced upon it, the self can break apart…and a smaller part, a part that is stronger on its own, can bear the weight better than that unprepared whole person. It is a well-documented phenomenon. Oddly though, knowing what is happening doesn't seem to assist me in putting myself back together. That will take time."

"So…does that mean…"

"I wanted you with every part of myself or it wouldn't have happened," Byakuya said softly.

Renji felt like the floor had just given way beneath him.

_Did he just say…_

"The Interim King did great damage…but honestly, I arrived in that place already broken. I was taught that I should not follow certain instincts, that as the son of a noble family, one was not to openly express longings of the heart. So…even though I felt quite a lot, it never went farther than the boundaries of my mind. And likewise, I often took actions to repress or deny the contents of my heart, because I knew that in the eyes of my clan, such thoughts would be considered wrong. I never asked myself whether or not they were right in what they taught me. But in retrospect, I wonder how it could have been right for them to teach me to despise myself for having a heart to begin with. Why would the Spirit King build us with a heart if we were not meant to be guided by it…well that and logic and conscience. Always, life is a balance."

"Taichou, I see why they went after you for being a deviant," Renji said, giving him a genuine smile, "You are nothing like them."

Byakuya's eyes became distant.

"He said that I was built this way for many purposes…I imagine one of them being a certain amount of fate that put me in the spirit dimension at that time. But that isn't my only purpose. It is one of many. I was meant to lead, both as a taichou of the Gotei 13 and as clan leader. My heart knew that it was right for me to do those things or they wouldn't have happened."

Renji held his breath.

"My heart also led me to fall in love with you…or it wouldn't have happened."

"So…while you were there with him, you fell in love with me?" Renji asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"No, Renji, while I was there with him, I realized that I had already fallen in love with you and I had no idea that it had happened. I never considered a love relationship with you before that, because I didn't realize that that was what made me feel that I had to treat you coldly sometimes. It turns out that you were a longing of my heart and it was instinctive for me to desire you. But my well-trained mind rejected it as another of my deviant leanings and it never even occurred to me that I loved you in that way…not until you went into the water and disappeared."

Renji felt suddenly concerned at the tired look that had come into Byakuya's eyes.

"Taichou…you should keep resting. I think I've bothered you enough for now with selfish questions."

"Will you tell me something first?" Byakuya asked softly.

Renji looked back at him curiously.

"Are you in love with me?"

Renji was surprised at the jolt of pain that struck him, hearing that question.

_Can he really not know?_

Byakuya gazed back at him steadily and Renji could see that it was straining his barely returned mind to hold focus that way. A cold shiver went through him.

"How can you ask me that? Of course I…"

"Renji…there is a great difference between yielding to your own passions and yielding to another's. You need to ask yourself whose passions were the deciding factor in what you chose to do last night. Did you accept my affections because I offered them and you were accommodating me…or was it that your heart felt the same leanings as mine?"

Renji opened his mouth to answer, but was stopped by a delicately placed kiss on his lips.

"This is not a question meant to be answered hastily," he said quietly, "but one to be pondered."

He sighed softly.

"I think perhaps you were right that I need more rest. I do feel mind weary, and since my mind is currently held together with paper clips and glue, I had best listen to that need."

Renji stared in silence as he leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes.

"Taichou," he asked softly, "do you wish for me to leave?"

One gray eye opened and observed him for a moment.

"I think it would be acceptable to ponder while lying next to me, Renji."

A tickle of warmth moved through his heart as Renji slipped beneath the covers and wrapped his body warmly around Byakuya's.

I don't care how much you make me 'ponder,' Taichou. I know where I belong. And just as losing me showed you where you belong, nearly losing you to madness showed me that the only place for me is beside you.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji woke later and found himself alone in the bed. He swallowed the panic that he felt and climbed out of bed, moving quickly to the closed door and out into the living area. He breathed a sigh of relief in finding Byakuya sitting on the sofa, staring out at the lake.

"Did you sleep well, Taichou?" Renji asked softly.

A cold feeling entered his stomach when he received no answer.

"Are you hungry? I can make something for us…"

Byakuya continued to stare out at the lake with empty eyes. When he did speak, the suddenness of the words was not nearly as jarring as the words, themselves.

"Is it time, then?"

Tears came to Renji's eyes. He sat down next to Byakuya.

"No…" he said quietly, "It isn't."

Byakuya sighed in resignation and began to move, but Renji's hand stayed the motion. Byakuya stared at him questioningly.

"I just want to hold you, for now."

A look of confusion entered the dark gray eyes and then, inexplicably, they cleared. Byakuya blinked slowly, biting back the frustration and leaned into Renji's embrace. Renji pulled him close and gently brushed the hair away from his eyes.

"It's odd," Byakuya whispered, "being out of my mind and knowing it's happening and not being able to stop it. I should be stronger than this…"

"Don't do that," Renji said, stopping the words with a soft kiss, "Don't put yourself down like that. There is no clan here, no Gotei 13, no one but you and me. And I already know how strong you are…so you won't fool me into thinking you're weak…not for a moment, Taichou. People don't come stronger than you…"

"Or more stubborn and persistent than you," Byakuya added returning his kiss.

"And that's how I know we belong together," Renji finished.

They continued a slow exchange of deep, open-mouthed kisses, resting quietly as the afternoon faded again into evening. When darkness had fallen and the moon had risen, Renji lifted his sleeping lover into his arms and carried him back to the bedroom. Byakuya woke as he was being settled into the bed.

"Is it time, then?" he asked, with sleep-filled eyes.

"No…" Renji answered sadly, "It isn't."

He reached down as Byakuya began to turn and stopped him. The noble froze and Renji's heart broke as he felt the shiver that went through Byakuya at his touch.

"I just want to hold you, for now," he said, swallowing the tears.

Byakuya turned his eyes back to meet Renji's and he hesitated, then sank into the redhead's arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm sorry that keeps happening."

Renji held Byakuya close, running his fingers slowly through the silken black hair.

"You don't have to apologize," Renji whispered back, "It isn't your fault. You're going to get better."

He tightened his arms around the noble and prayed silently that he was telling Byakuya the truth.


	17. Where the Heart Should Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoruichi brings someone to help Byakuya cope.

Yoruichi looked briefly at the area around her, then shifted into feline form and drew in her reiatsu. Despite her confidence that she could take care of herself, she took Urahara's warning to heart and made herself beneath notice as she passed through the senkaimon and into Soul Society. She noticed right away the unusually quiet streets of the Rukongai. And she was glad for the darkness that enabled her to slip past the guards at the entrance to the Seireitei.

_I've heard from a couple of shinigami that things are tense there. There have been more than a few hollow attacks and there are rumors that Soutaichou has placed Soul Society under martial law until things settle down. He has sent a few Squad Two folk nosing around the shop, so it's a good bet that he's still got them looking for Kuchiki and Abarai. I heard a rumor about an official warrant for Renji's arrest, but I have to be careful about asking too many questions. You must realize that we are all being carefully watched._

She stopped several times, circling back, checking the path behind her, but it appeared that she had managed to slip in unnoticed. She breathed a sigh of relief and shifted her attention to making her way to the fourth division. She bypassed the main building and slipped into the yard of the lovely home that stood just behind it. She slipped into the bushes and studied the sides of the house, walking around until she found an open window. She sat down beneath it, listening to the conversation she heard going on inside.

"I'm worried," said Isane, "It seems every day that something else happens. Ever since…"

"Hai, Isane, it is a difficult time," Unohana taichou agreed, "but you mustn't worry."

"But Taichou! Kuchiki taichou is missing and Abarai Renji is under suspicion of abducting his own taichou…and no one even remembers what mission they were on when all of this started. No one knows how Kuchiki taichou became so ill!"

"Yes…I have my theories about that, but it is best if we leave them for now. Isane…I think that I shall require some time alone to gather my thoughts for the taichou's meeting tomorrow. Will you please excuse me?"

"Oh! Of course…sorry. Good night, Unohana taichou. Sweet dreams!"

A door opened and closed. Yoruichi listened for a moment longer, then lifted herself so that she could peek into the room. She spotted Unohana taichou sitting facing away from her on the other side of the room. She hopped up onto the window sill and dropped down into the room, then made her way to the chair where Unohana taichou sat reading.

The healer smiled upon spotting the black cat, but she said nothing. She merely stood and beckoned for Yoruichi to follow her to her quarters. Yoruichi remained at her heels until they were in her room with the door closed. Then she shifted to human form.

"I thought I sensed you outside," Unohana said sweetly, "You must be cautious. Even with your reiatsu so low, you could be sensed. What brings you?"

"It is 'a common friend' who is very much in need right now. He is quite ill and the one caring for him is beside himself to know how to help."

"What seems to be the trouble?"

"He seems to be caught reliving past happenings…as if going through them again…and falls into an unresponsive state at times. We know it is because of what he has been through, but we don't know how to help him. We were hoping you could come."

Unohana looked at her sadly.

"Unfortunately, the taichous are all under orders not to leave the Seireitei. New deployments are being posted constantly and everything is in flux. Until the order is lifted, I cannot leave."

She turned and picked up a traveling cloak and slipped it around her shoulders, then turned back to Yoruichi.

"I'm afraid I must bid you good night," she said softly.

"Oh yes," agreed Yoruichi, "Good night."

Unohana taichou turned off the lights and motioned toward the window. The two slipped out and passed into the shadows, headed for the senkaimon.

"I shall need to return before dawn," she told Yoruichi, "I would rather my absence not be noticed by anyone."

Yoruichi turned and smiled gratefully.

"Thank you so much. He really does need you."

"Hai…and we shall see to his needs. Do not worry."

The two disappeared into the night. A few moments later a small shadow rose up and followed in their wake.

XXXXXXXXXX

A soft breeze lifted a few strands of Renji's hair so that they brushed against the skin of his throat, and beneath his closed eyelids he sensed a soft glow emanating from something in the room. He felt the intense reiatsu fluctuation and knew without opening his eyes, that the dream lover he had been with the night before had somehow returned to him. He opened his eyes and spotted Byakuya standing in front of the window with his body half-turned toward the stars, the shine from the moon playing beautifully over the black hair, white skin and the yukata that fluttered on the breezes flowing in through the open window.

He could see the starlit profile, an eye filled with starshine and dream, a long, slow blink and a drinking in of the night. The soft, white breast gathered in the night air and released it again, taking in the moon's powerful energy and merging it with his own. The room was silent except for that light passage of breath and spirit, and Renji felt keenly the soundless call of that vibrant soul as it reached out across the room and wrapped around him.

He rose as far as his knees and watched in silence for a moment, held spellbound by the beauty of that glowing form. This was Byakuya, he knew now, Byakuya the way he would have been…if they had never been made to go to the spirit dimension, but had been lucky enough to feel what was between them and act on it. It was not a given that it would have happened that way, of course. They had been so very blind to what had been building between them. But here was a tribute to what had been lost when that noble being offered himself up for the protection of the ones he held dear, for the worlds he was sworn to protect, for so many he didn't even know.

And as much as Renji had also given over his control, he had been distanced enough from what happened between Byakuya and the Interim King that only now as Byakuya reeled under the weight of his shattered heart did Renji fully remember and feel the connection to it. But while Renji had been borrowed and held away from what had happened…shielded in a sense, the full fury of the rebirth ritual had fallen on this other, and had left him in ruins.

It was odd to look at Byakuya the way he was now and to know he was broken, but not to see it anywhere in this creature's face or form as he stood in quiet contemplation of the moon and stars. Renji didn't want to say anything to shatter the spell, so he moved silently to the edge of the bed, then stood and joined him at the window, sliding his arms around Byakuya from behind.

A shock went through him as he felt the noble's body go suddenly taut, as Byakuya turned in his arms and the bright, moonlit eyes met his. He felt tears in his eyes at the sudden flash of fear and despair, at the way he then forced calm back through his body, making his eyes quiet, his reiatsu still, his body pliant in Renji's arms. He said nothing, but Renji read everything in those eyes. He was waiting to be taken to the floor…to be overpowered and filled forcefully with the king's reiatsu.

He brought his hand to the noble's face and threaded his fingers through the soft hair. He felt a shiver move through Byakuya and sighed sadly. He was so damned beautiful…but far too broken. Renji started to release him and was stunned when a look of desperation came over his features and he moved with Renji as the redhead stepped back.

"Don't go," he whispered, his voice barely louder than the soft breeze, "If you go…I will be empty. I cannot bear the emptiness…"

Renji released a too-long-held breath and tried again to step back. The backs of his legs touched the edge of the bed and he stopped, still holding Byakuya and staring into the dark, glistening eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you," Renji responded in a wavering voice, "You aren't yourself right now. You don't know who you are…or who I am…or even where we are."

"I know you," Byakuya whispered, his eyes closing, "You are the only one who can fill and complete me."

Renji took Byakuya's face in his hands, watching as the dark eyes opened again and fastened warily on his.

"I want you to hear me," Renji said, locking eyes with the noble, "We can't be together until you are well. I won't do this, because it will hurt you. I will stay with you and hold you until you are well, but…"

He stopped, staring as Byakuya pulled away and stepped back, his arms wrapping around a suddenly trembling body. He slowly lowered his head.

"Can't you feel it?" Byakuya said in a too calm, too composed voice, "Because I can. I know it as well as my own…this reiatsu that lived alongside mine…this need that drives mine…Everything is in balance. But if you do not fill me, the balance will shift and I will lose this and be empty again. Are you trying to destroy us?"

"Byakuya," Renji said desperately, "you don't know what you're saying. We aren't in the spirit dimension anymore. We are in Karakura Town. I am not the Interim King. I am Abarai Renji!"

The dark eyes found his again and his words stunned Renji.

"I know who you are…Renji."

"Wha…?"

"And I know we are not there anymore…" he said, raising his eyes.

"But…"

He approached Renji and brought his head to rest on the redhead's shoulder, his open palms resting against Renji's chest. Renji felt another sharp jolt looking down into the half-mad eyes and seeing the calm and the confusion, the love and the terror. A soft chill ran down his spine.

"I had to leave everything behind," Byakuya whispered against his shoulder, "but even though we came back and even though I know that leaving him behind was right…I still feel the place where he was…inside. Do you understand?"

Renji swallowed hard and nodded.

"He was never mine, and I knew that. His spirit belongs to the worlds he protects and I was only the vessel that carried him."

Renji took hold of his face and kissed him gently.

"You were never just that alone, Byakuya. You know he doesn't see you that way. That was what the Interim King made you feel…and even he knew that wasn't true. He told you…He told you that you would provide heart and conscience to the new king."

"And I gave him everything…I know I did, because there is only emptiness where my own heart used to be. When we left that place, I left my heart with him. I can't feel anything now…"

He paused and drew a shaky breath.

"I've been left empty…and the only time that emptiness leaves me…is when this happens…when it is late at night…and the power of the moon and stars fills me. And I know myself again. I know my place again. I know where my heart is…Renji. My heart is with you."

He let his eyes drift closed.

"That is why I need you. When we are together, I can feel my heart."

"So I will stay with you. I won't leave you. You know that!" Renji exclaimed, pulling him in for a flurry of kisses.

"No…you don't understand," Byakuya said, pulling him down onto the bed, "Renji…"

"Byakuya," Renji said, pulling away and sitting up, "I told you…we can't…be together. Not until you are well."

He was silenced as Byakuya's hand took hold of his and brought it to his abdomen.

"Don't you feel it? Don't you understand what's happening? The reiatsu is becoming unstable!"

He started to pull his hand away, then froze as he realized that he did feel instability in the reiatsu beneath his hands.

"Byakuya!" he exclaimed worriedly, "Byakuya, what's happening? Your reiatsu…"

"It's becoming unstable," Byakuya said again, swaying and falling against him.

"Byakuya?"

The noble pulled away and doubled over, gasping in pain.

"Byakuya, what's happening?"

Renji heard a knock on the door and breathed a sigh of relief. He wrapped an arm around Byakuya.

"That's going to be Unohana taichou," he assured the stricken noble, "Hang on, I'll be right back."

Byakuya gave a sharp gasp of dismay as Renji released him and flash stepped to the door, throwing it open. Yoruichi and Unohana taichou stared in surprise at his wild eyes and frantic expression.

"Hurry," he said, turning back, "Something is really wrong. Something is making his reiatsu unstable!"

The three flash stepped to the bedroom and slid to a stop in the doorway, staring. Byakuya was on the floor, on his hands and knees, his head lowered against the pain. Unohana moved to his side immediately.

"Come," she said softly, "lets get you back into bed, Kuchiki taichou."

Renji came around the end of the bed and the two helped Byakuya climb back into the bed. He rested on his back, raised up on pillows, his hands still over his midsection. He breathed in clipped inhales and short releases of breath through his parted lips.

"Can you show me where the pain is?" Unohana asked, leaning over him.

Byakuya gave no sign he had heard, but only continued struggling for breath.

"Byakuya?" Unohana said again, placing a hand on his face.

The noble stared fixedly ahead.

"What…" Renji began.

His question disappeared into a sudden, heavy flare of reiatsu that rose up around Byakuya and began to pulsate sharply. Unohana's power rose up and curled around his, capturing it and holding it in place. Byakuya gave a low, guttural moan and panted harder.

"What's happening?" asked Renji, frantically.

"Try to remain calm," advised Unohana, "His reiatsu is acting oddly. It will take a moment for me to discover the problem."

Her reiatsu closed around Byakuya's and glowed softly. Byakuya's breathing slowed and became more labored.

"This is very unusual," she said, reaching down and placing her hands over Byakuya's where they rested on his midsection, "It appears as though some of his reiatsu has sectioned itself off and is causing him pain. The flare seems to resonate from within the separated section."

"What does that mean? What's happening to him?" Renji asked, staring.

"The separated reiatsu is the part that has become unstable. I believe that if I remove it, then he will recover."

She touched Byakuya's face gently and focused her power. At the rise of her power, the noble's reiatsu flashed and Byakuya cried out sharply. She lowered her power for a moment, leaning forward and speaking soothingly to him.

"I am here to help you, Kuchiki taichou. You must remain calm and let go of the unstable reiatsu."

"N-no…no…I can't," he moaned.

"Why not? What is stopping you?"

Byakuya shifted uncomfortably.

"If…if I let go…I will be…empty…"

Understanding flooded the healer's eyes.

"So…you are trying to stabilize the reiatsu?" she asked.

Byakuya nodded.

"And how can the reiatsu be stabilized?" she asked softly.

"I must…ease my pain…" he answered brokenly.

"And what will ease your pain?" the healer asked.

"I do not wish to be nameless."

Unohana looked up at Renji questioningly. A flash of realization swept across Renji's face and he climbed onto the bed and knelt next to Byakuya. The noble released his midsection and sat up, looking more in control. Renji nodded, inviting him to continue.

"And I would prefer that we share a bed."

Renji nodded again.

"And I would like to be kissed and touched with some amount of affection."

He fell back against the pillows, staring ahead and looking as though he was waiting for something. Renji turned to the others.

"He's reliving what happened in the spirit dimension…over and over."

"And apparently," said Unohana worriedly, "this has caused him to section off a portion of his reiatsu. This becomes unstable and causes the pain he is experiencing."

"So you have to remove the affected reiatsu?" asked Yoruichi.

"No," the healer said firmly, "It would only cause him to section off more. The more times he does this, the more dangerous it becomes."

"Then what can we do?" asked Renji, "We can't just leave him like this!"

"I was not suggesting we should…but I am a long way from knowing exactly what to do. But what I did notice was that when you indulged him, the reiatsu did stabilize. And we do need to keep it stabilized until I can find a way to resolve this. I would take him back to the Seireitei, but he would likely be quickly sensed and taken again. I need to return to the Seirietei to conduct some research to find out what to do about the separated reiatsu. I will do so as quickly as I can. While I am gone, keep his reiatsu stabilized…indulge his delusions within reason."

"You mean…play along with him?" Renji asked, "But I can't! I can't act like the Interim King. He was horrible to Byakuya…"

"So act as though you are going along with him…but deviate as necessary to avoid doing anything to worsen his condition. The idea is to keep him comfortable until I return…and I promise to do so as quickly as possible."

She turned to Yoruichi.

"I believe I will need a bit of assistance from you."

"What kind of assistance?" Yoruichi asked, blinking.

"There are some files I need to gain access to…but they are, shall we say, difficult to reach. I believe your particular expertise will help us to gain access to them so that I can use the information to assist Kuchiki taichou."

"I see," Yoruichi said, smiling, "It would be my pleasure."

"Then let us go quickly. We want to resolve this situation as soon as possible."

"So…you're both leaving?" Renji objected, "But…"

The healer turned back, silencing him with a bracing smile.

"Do not worry, Abarai Renji, you really are the best one to keep him stabilized until we return."

The two flash stepped away, leaving Renji staring after them.


	18. The Spirit King's Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renji realizes that Byakuya is not the only one who has been broken.

Renji waited until Byakuya was asleep, then slipped out of the bedroom and into the living area. He stood in front of the bay window, staring down at the lake, trying to remember the last time things had been normal between them…the last time Byakuya had really been in possession of his senses. And when the memory returned, he couldn't help wanting to kick himself for ever wishing that Byakuya would be different than he was…because it was all good and well to want him to show a little more emotion, but to have him so out of control that he was unable to contain anything, to have him hurt so badly that it could never be undone…it was enough to make him look back on that quiet, calm person, that one with whom he had always had to look beneath the surface to really see, the one who had seemed so cold at times, but Renji had always known inwardly that he wasn't without warmth…and to want that person back with all of his heart.

Things hadn't really been so bad…

Sure, it was difficult to know that Byakuya was hiding so much of himself inside and that there were things that he would never do or say, but Renji had been allowed to see more than others. Byakuya had been very slowly opening up and letting him in. And now he wished he knew what it would have been like if they had fallen in love without first being thrown into the spirit realm. He stared out the window, dreaming of it happening that way, and was so entranced with the thought, he didn't hear the door behind him open or the silent approach of the one who filled his thoughts.

And he was so taken with that dream of what they could have shared that when he did see Byakuya appear before him, silent and beautiful and outlined and lit by the night sky, he quietly accepted the arms that wrapped around him, the scent of sakura that fell on his senses, the dark, wanting eyes, the soft press of that wonderfully warm flesh against his. He didn't object when Byakuya's mouth found his and began a silent, gentle exploration. He was tired and heart-weary and damn it, he needed this dream…if dream it was.

The tie at his waist loosened, then was pulled free and the light yukata fell away, and Renji watched without words as Byakuya stepped back, his eyes moving very slowly over Renji's starlit form, following the pathway of tattoos, his expression not cold or warm, but simply curious.

Oh yes, if it had happened without the trip to the spirit realm, this is how it would have been…

Byakuya slowly moved around him, first carefully learning the patterns with his eyes, then stepping in closer and letting his fingers play over the edges. His expression didn't change…and that was a comfort to Renji. It left him relatively sure that this wasn't really happening, because he wouldn't have been selfish enough to let it happen if it was real.

He was so damned tired! And even having been protected from the full intensity of what he had been used to do to Byakuya, it was coming back in stunning detail as Byakuya fell apart and worked at putting himself back together. Renji knew that as much as he wanted to believe that he was less affected for having been less involved, he only had to touch Byakuya in the wrong way at the wrong time and the noble's fearful response would remind him.

And the pain of that was growing stronger by the minute…

Because his own hands had been used to force his taichou to the ground…

And his body had been used to violate him…

And it didn't matter that they had agreed it was best, that it had been for all of the right reasons. The fact of the matter was that it left Renji feeling like he shouldn't touch Byakuya, that after what he had done, it would be wrong to torment him with the hands that had so hurt him.

And he had to admit to himself that he had almost been relieved when he decided not to be intimate with Byakuya until he was well, if then. Yes, because he didn't deserve to have the right to touch Byakuya after what he had done. And Byakuya didn't deserve the pain of having to remember that it was the one who had always watched his back, the one he trusted, who had turned cold and used him so badly…shattered him…No, it was better if they were never together again…maybe better for both of them. He could go back to what had existed before. He could let go of his feelings for Byakuya and allow his taichou to move on and forget. Maybe it was for the best to do so…

So then, why were Byakuya's hands searching for his, sliding down his arms and lacing their fingers together? Why were the dark, beautiful eyes looking into his now with only affection, without any hint of fear or sadness or pain? Why, after everything, was Byakuya coming to him as though looking for comfort and love? One didn't look for love in the arms of his tormentor…so it made no sense for Byakuya to look at him as he was, to reach out and touch him with affectionate, searching hands, to shine with what looked like adoration. How could Byakuya feel anything for him but disgust?

He pulled his hands free and started to step away, then found himself pulled into a hard, demanding embrace. The eyes, too grew more commanding, more forceful, more like the colder, harder taichou he remembered.

"I see what you're doing," Byakuya whispered, "and you need to remember that I wasn't the only one who was used in ways I did and did not agree to…you were too. And you've spent so much time worrying about me that you've forgotten to take care of yourself."

He paused and kissed Renji gently on the lips.

"I am sorry…"

"Sorry?" repeated Renji, stepping back in surprise, "Why in kami's name would you be sorry? Taichou…Byakuya, you didn't do anything wrong…"

Byakuya shook his head solemnly and Renji could only stare questioningly.

"I let you carry the weight of what happened to both of us on your heart alone. You want to think you were protected, but the cruel fact is that you were not. If it was painful for me to be used as I was, then how must it have been to be the one charged with my protection, to be the one whose responsibility it has always been to see to my needs…to be the one who was already falling in love with me…and to be forced to watch as his own body betrayed every dictate of his heart? And the worst torment, to know that both of us were sent to this fate, not by the worst of our enemies, but by one we have always respected and trusted? Renji…you have been there for me every step of the way. But I failed you. I was so wrapped up in my own pain, I left you to drown in yours. But that is over. What happened to us is over. And I don't want it between us anymore. I don't want to lose you, Abarai Renji…or to lose this…"

And there it was, that undeniable, irrepressible, overwhelming strength that Renji had been so sure he would never see again. Was Byakuya really returning this time? Would he really come back to stay? He wouldn't delude himself into thinking that this would make everything instantly disappear, but to have Byakuya back with him again…not so lost and tormented…

_But how am I supposed to know if Byakuya is really there? Really in control? And how can I take the chance that we might make love and that, even as we lay wrapped in the warmth of that exchange, Byakuya might lose himself again…and I would have to look into those dark gray eyes and see the return of that pain…I can't do that…can't stand it…can't allow it._

"Taichou…" he whispered, tears coming to his eyes, "Let go…"

"No," came the soft, insistent response, "I won't let go."

"You have to," Renji insisted, "because if this goes on, we could both be lost."

Byakuya's hand touched his face and their eyes locked.

"Abarai Renji," Byakuya said quietly, "There are no worlds to be left hanging on my survival, no charge or responsibility that I must protect myself to serve. If giving you my love is a danger that may destroy me…then I choose that sweet destruction with all of my heart. I know what it is to love someone with a whole heart and to have to let go to protect myself out of a sense of duty. That is the gift I was given by the Spirit King. He wanted me to know that this time…here…now…I can embrace you with a whole and unbroken heart…and we can move forward…together. As painful as it was, having to guide the Interim King in the search for his heart helped me to know my own. And when I lost the king's reiatsu…when I was successful in birthing the king, but made to leave him behind…I learned what it was to feel the emptiness and…I don't want to feel that again. I know now to give myself over to what I feel for you…to trust it, and not to let you go. Because I won't choose emptiness over love this time, not even if all of the worlds end because of it."

Renji couldn't think of a word to say in answer. He stared at Byakuya wide-eyed, not daring to believe he could have heard what had just fallen on his ears. He couldn't bear it if it turned out that Byakuya was just between episodes, to have him be like this, then sink back into blankness. So he had to believe the words, the dark, affectionate eyes and the arms that took hold of him. He had to trust the lips and mouth that took possession of his, the body that wrapped around his and the binding of their hearts that was both achingly beautiful and so deeply painful.

And this time, he was the one who was lifted, carried into the bedroom and set down. He was the one who was held, called by name and treated to kisses and touches that were filled with warmth and affection. And he took the dizzying fall into everything that was Byakuya…all that was dark and light about him…all that made him the only one Renji's heart could belong to ever again. And Byakuya hadn't just given small hints this time. There was no need for Renji to search in the details to find what he so wanted. He had those beautiful words too! They repeated in his mind, feeding his mind and his heart with the love he was so hungry for as Byakuya loved his body.

The noble took his time, slowly exploring every inch of those lovely black tattoos, tracing them with soft fingertips, then following with brushes of warm lips and tasting with a gentle, questing tongue. And Renji found that the more those places were touched and explored, the more he ached to feel those hands, those lips, that mouth on his skin again. As the noble reached the end of his exploration, Renji lay on his stomach, the feel of Byakuya's touches still affecting him and he waited to be taken. And for the first time he could remember, he wanted to be. He turned his head and met Byakuya's eyes questioningly, but it seemed his taichou had something else in mind.

"Not yet," he said quietly, "I will not take you until we are married."

_Did he just say…?_

He turned Renji onto his back again and returned to his mouth for several long, slow kisses. Renji could barely stand the ache in his loins. He moved restlessly against the body that rested on his and was met with staying hands and a commanding gaze. And for all that Renji had loved the softer, gentler Byakuya that returned with him from the spirit dimension, he adored the strong, unyielding presence of the taichou he remembered.

And now, it seemed, he had both.

_If only this could be real! Kami, please let this be real. I can't do this and have him leave me again, have his eyes go blank or fearful or filled with pain. I can't stand it!_

He wanted to stop what was happening, to take a breath, to think for a moment, to remember why he hadn't wanted to take these steps. But his thoughts scattered as Byakuya's body stretched warmly over his and the staggering kisses continued relentlessly as the noble shifted on top of him and slowly took him in.

It wasn't like the last time. Although he looked every bit as angelic, this incarnation of Byakuya proceeded slowly, held Renji's eyes and, oh kami, _smiled_ as he moved against Renji in small, gentle thrusts until the redhead was buried in him…trembling softly and praying Byakuya would move again before he lost it and just exploded…

_Move…move…kami, just…please, before I…_

A sharp nip on his lips made him stop and breathe. Then the dark eyes took hold of his again and that lovely, slender body lifted slightly and the strong hips moved…and Renji's breath was taken away again. A deep, pained groan escaped him and he felt the soft vibration of Byakuya's silent laughter.

_Oh, he so knows what he's doing to me! This angel has a dark side…_

He couldn't think any more, not with Byakuya on top of him like this…moving and breathing with eyes half closed, glazed over and gone…with his palms open and pressed firmly against Renji's chest, with his head beginning to fall forward, the swirls of black hair falling over his shoulders and his lips parting in light gasps of pleasure as he neared release. He grabbed the noble's hips, pulling them in and thrusting upward. He panted out Byakuya's name as pleasure gripped him and his body pulsed and flared. Then Byakuya's eyes met his again and he was falling, sinking down onto Renji as the pleasure claimed him and searing heat filled the space between them.

_I can't look…_

_If he leaves again, I'll die. I know I will…_

_I can't stand it!_

_Not when it's this good, when it feels this right between us!_

_He has to be okay…I need him to be okay…_

So he closed his eyes and held Byakuya's body against his, sinking into the warmth and not daring to speak or move again. Byakuya had gone still and quiet, his breath warming Renji's skin with each soft exhale. He wanted to just stay like that…to forget everything else and just have this closeness, this heat, this fullness of heart.

_I won't look._

_I knew not to let this happen, but he's just too damned beautiful and what I feel when he's with me is overwhelming._

_I can't look…_

_I don't want to know…_

_I don't want to see him break again…_

"Renji…"

He kept his eyes closed and kissed the noble's mouth into silence, so he didn't have to hear the crushing words. He knew them all too well. He had heard them too many times. And it was too much for him to bear, to hold Byakuya in his arms, for them to love each other with such abandon, then to have all of the warmth and pleasure taken away with those words…those damned words…

_There is no need for names here…_

"Renji…"

_I am your Consort…_

"Renji…"

_And you are my king…_

"Renji…"

_I understand my place…_

Even with his eyes closed, he felt the calm, dark eyes looking down at him, felt the pale fingers brushing away the frustrated tears, and felt such tender kisses that he wanted to melt beneath them. He didn't know where the words came from or when they started, but they were soft and quiet and filled with affection.

"Renji…do not worry. You took away the emptiness. I am full again. It's time for me to return the favor…because you suffer from the emptiness too. But it doesn't have to be that way anymore. We can complete each other and be made full. But because of all that has happened, we have to learn how to trust that feeling again. We have to learn to experience what is between us and not to fear a return into the darkness we were in before. Renji…do not fear this. Open your eyes and look at me."

_I can't…_

But somehow his eyes were opening and looking up into that lovely, angelic face again.

"Renji…"

He held his breath.

"Aishiteru yo…"

They exhaled together.


	19. What Happened Under the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji make a startling discovery...and then are discovered.

Byakuya woke feeling weak and shaky, trembling with a familiar, but unsettling feeling and an ache inside. He took a few shallow breaths and tried to push the feeling away, but it refused to leave him. He shivered softly and climbed out of the bed. It was late at night and Renji was deeply asleep. He looked back at the redhead and breathed in the their mingled scents. It calmed him and made the ache fade away. Looking out the window, he let his eyes play over the expanse of stars, thinking back to the pleasant hours he had spent poring over the books in the Spirit King's library.

There had been so many stories, so many heroes and villains, gods and goddesses, and so many star-crossed lovers! And burying himself in their rises and falls, in their struggles helped him to distance himself from the feelings of namelessness, uselessness, worthlessness that had been the marker of his days alongside the Interim King.

He sighed and tried to force away the dark feelings. That other being had only had a short time to live…and he had been made for but a single purpose. Byakuya had already lived for hundreds of years and would likely have hundreds more. And during those years, he had served more purposes, light and dark, than he could sit and count. And despite the way things had started, the cold and emotionless exchange that had deprived Byakuya of his sexual innocence, there had been warmth between them by the end. And he hadn't forgotten that it was the Interim King who had challenged him to know and speak the contents of his heart. Still, standing there in the darkness, alone and gazing out at the stars, he still felt the soft burning of tears and the wish that there had been some other way, that he could have remained innocent until his fears had receded and he could have heard the call of his own heart.

But such thoughts, he knew, were selfish and served no purpose, but to bring back the pain. He had learned from this experience. He had been taken apart and put back together, and made stronger for it. Still…he couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he had never drawn attention to himself at the taichou's meeting…never admitted what no one but he knew.

But he suspected that someone else had known…

He remembered the way Soutaichou's eye had fallen on him when he said the consort must be virginal to have the best chance at success. And he wondered how Soutaichou had known…

The thought unsettled him again…

The thought of Soutaichou knowing of his innocence…and being so willing to send him…and to choose Renji to act as Interim King…but he had to admit that the logic seemed sound. If two taichou level shinigami had to be sacrificed, why steal strength from more than one fighting unit?

Still, his heart said that there was more in Soutaichou's behavior than was visible at the surface. If only he dared to return and to ask the questions. But he dared not face Soutaichou in his current state. Despite his return to himself, he still sensed and respected his own vulnerability. No, he still felt the shivering of fears barely contained, of harsh and bitter memory, of his loss of self. He was newly recovered and would continue to recover more slowly over time.

But he had to ask himself…What was it that had finally pushed him out of the depths and back to the surface? What strength or desire had enabled him to finally shatter the bonds that held him teetering on the brink of complete insanity? He suspected that it was the meeting of those two determined forces of love…his and Renji's. They had paid dearly for their chance at being together. And finally being in each other's arms, they had a chance to be happy. But there was so much threatening to undo them…first, Byakuya's emotional fragility and now the weight of the arrest warrant that Soutaichou had issued for Renji. And even if they dealt with all of that, there were still the elders to consider. They, of course, would try to put their collective foot down. He simply had to avoid it falling before he discovered a means of getting the two of them out from beneath it.

The ache had returned to his stomach and he wondered if it might be hunger. He turned to go to the kitchen and nearly fell when a sharp pain gripped his midsection and he doubled over, groaning. His reiatsu flared wildly, sending a feeling of fire through his veins and telling him in no uncertain terms what it was that was happening.

_But that can't be…_

He looked up, surprised that Renji had not awakened when his reiatsu lit the room. He opened his mouth to speak, but another pain tore through him and he fell to his knees, gasping out Renji's name as his power flared, dangerously hot and white around him. The redhead was on his feet and at Byakuya's side in an instant.

"What is it? What's happening? Is your reiatsu going unstable again?"

"I…ah…I don't…know if it's unstable…or…" Byakuya stammered.

Renji nodded and leaned forward, easing him back so that he rested against the wall. He reached out and placed his hands on the noble's midsection, focusing and closing his eyes. A moment later, they opened in surprise.

"Byakuya…that's…"

Byakuya smiled.

"It's…his true gift. It appears that I was wrong before. But…something doesn't feel right…Renji…"

"What do you want me to do?"

Byakuya shook his head.

"I'm not sure…but…stay."

He gripped Renji's hand as the pain intensified and breathed carefully to manage the pain. Renji remained at his side, lacing a hand into his.

"Shit, a marriage proposal and this on the same night?" he laughed, "You don't do things half way, do you Taichou?"

"Will you please call me Byakuya?" the noble snapped, significantly more harshly than he intended.

The two locked eyes and laughed…until Byakuya's eyes closed and he bent forward, breathing through the pain. The air around them sparkled brighter than the stars with the flaring of Byakuya's power.

"Okay, Byakuya, then! Kami, you're in a pissy mood!"

"I am not…I'm…I'm just…"

His reiatsu flared again and he found himself remembering.

_Water…He had walked into the water…_

"Water…" he whispered.

"You got it," Renji said, flash stepping away.

"Wait, no…" he started.

It couldn't wait. It was time. Byakuya came to his feet and flash stepped out of the room, passing through the glass of the bay window and leaving it untouched. He flew down off of the hillside, his heart pounding…and came to the edge of the water, that had already began to roil and froth in anticipation.

"Byakuya!"

But it couldn't wait anymore. He had to move forward. He stepped out onto the surface of the lake and felt the waters begin to rise around him. A moment later, everything disappeared into a lovely rush of midnight blue.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji reached the edge of the lake and felt bracing hands set themselves on him and stop him.

"Stop, Renji," Yoruichi said, holding him tightly, "Let him go."

Realizing she was right, Renji nodded and stood back.

"Y-you…you know what's happening?" he asked.

"We know," answered Unohana taichou, smiling, "I am sorry that we did not return sooner, but it was difficult to get the information we needed…and by the time we arrive, Byakuya was already entering the water."

"So," said Yoruichi, smiling widely, "I imagine that congratulations are in order."

Renji laughed nervously.

"Yeah…I guess so."

Yoruichi wrapped her arms around the redhead and kissed him on the cheek.

"You and Kuchiki Byakuya! Who knew?"

"Not me, that's for damned sure!" chuckled Renji softly.

He glanced at Unohana taichou, worried at the intensity of her gaze.

"Is he all right out there?" he asked softly.

He could feel that she was avoiding looking at him.

"I believe so," she answered bracingly.

Light and power danced over the surface of the lake, reflecting in their eyes and brightening the land around them. Yoruichi gazed out at the sight and extended her senses warily.

"Renji…" she said quietly, "I think that you should leave. With all of this power being used, we are sure to be discovered."

"I am not leaving him…not for a moment."  
"Hey!" Yoruichi said sharply, "If you stay, you may be leaving him permanently. Go Renji, before you are captured."

Renji opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again as the water around Byakuya began to seethe. Light flashed fitfully and began to change in hue from midnight blue to blood red.

"Abarai Renji," said Unohana taichou, "I was right about you needing to go, but wrong about where. The red color of the water is a warning. Byakuya's power was not yet fully restored. It is beginning to fade and unless you go to him, he will not be able to return."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya felt the water surround him and lift him away from the confines of his flesh. He was floating weightlessly, no longer bound to a form that needed a heartbeat, or to draw breath. Without the use of eyes, he knew he was still surrounded by blue light. He felt the presence of that other, of the one he had given so much to bring forth…and he reached for that place and found himself descending, brought into the garden where everything had happened. He fell softly to his knees at the feet of the Spirit King.

"My lord," he whispered, barely trusting his voice.

He felt his strength fading, his body swaying from weariness. He sank slowly to the ground and felt darkness close in around him. Everything went deathly still around him. The king looked down at him with worried, sorrowful eyes. He knelt next to Byakuya and stroked his hair gently.

"You are weary. Too much has been asked of you too soon. But he is coming. He will be here soon."

There was a stirring in the air, a flash of red energy, and Renji settled gently onto his knees next to Byakuya. He looked up at the Spirit King questioningly.

"Is he going to be all right?" he asked softly.

"You have done well at healing his heart, Abarai Renji," said the king, "Now I will ask you to bolster his strength one time more, so that he can help to bring forth my gift to the two of you."

Renji nodded and leaned over the exhausted noble, touching him with gentle hands and sharing his power. There was a long moment of near silence…a quiet sense of one struggling to return, then Byakuya stirred beneath his hands. The dark eyes opened and came to rest on his.

"Renji…"

He pulled Byakuya into his arms and kissed him until he was returned to wakefulness.

They suddenly felt themselves being raised and met the king's calm eyes curiously.

"Kuchiki Byakuya, Abarai Renji, are you ready to receive my gift?"

"If it is your will that I receive it, my lord," Byakuya said, bowing his head.

Hai, my lord," Renji said, bowing his head as well.

"My gift comes to you in three parts," the king explained, "The first part is the healing of body and spirit. Go first and bathe beneath the waterfall."

Wordlessly, they left the king and walked past where the purification pool had been, where now only grass and flowers grew, over the ground where Byakuya's body had first fallen beneath the Interim King's, and to the waterfall where he had first tried to wash the pain away. This time when they entered the water together, warmth swelled around them, drowning their bodies in great waves of peace and healing. The water struck them, capturing the pain that still imprisoned them, sending it rushing down like a river of tears into the water at their feet. They closed their eyes and breathed the water in, cleansing body and spirit until they felt strength and power flare deep within. Renewed, they stepped out of the water and returned to the king, still naked and dripping.

"You have prepared the reiatsu and Abarai Renji has added his essence?" the king asked.

They looked at each other and nodded silently.

The king smiled at the two warmly and reached out to touch Byakuya's abdomen. There was a great flash of light around them, and the sharp cry of an infant drawing and releasing first breath, then they saw light rising out of Byakuya's body and slowly twisting and turning in the air before them. As they watched with startled eyes, the light closed itself into a sphere and pulsed in the way of a heartbeat. They heard a softer cry and suddenly, the emptiness was gone…disappeared into lovely gray eyes and hair as red as autumn itself, into a tiny, soft body, his pale skin and fine, noble features lightly touched with the outlines of pale tattoos. A happy shiver passed through Byakuya as the infant settled into his arms, cooing…staring at him wide-eyed and reaching out to touch his face with tiny grasping fingers…then looking up at Renji and opening his mouth in a loud, pleased howl.

"Damn!" whispered Renji, "He is absolutely gorgeous, Byakuya!"

Byakuya chuckled softly.

"You're just saying that because he looks more like you!"

"He does not," said Renji, looking more closely, "does he?"

"He favors both of us," Byakuya whispered appreciatively.

The king stepped forward and looked down at the baby, his expression warm and affectionate.

"Little one, having been brought forth by the ones who gave so much to give new life to me, I charge you with bringing them love and pride and happiness. Remember that you are a noble son…one born to the greatest of the noble clans, and that as all noble sons, you are sworn to protect and serve the royal family and to maintain balance and harmony in the three worlds. Honor your parents and bring them the joy they deserve."

He lifted his eyes and met Byakuya's and Renji's again.

"And now, I would see you dressed in the livery of your noble clan."

He extended a hand over them and they quite suddenly found themselves dressed in noble attire, with Byakuya adorned with all of the markers of his noble status. His heart skipped as he realized that his son was now wrapped warmly in the folds of the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu. Byakuya lifted him, letting his cheek brush against the soft silk and even softer skin. Renji wrapped an arm around Byakuya, locking them warmly together.

"And what name do you give your son?" asked the king.

Byakuya looked at Renji, who looked back and nodded.

"Our son will be named Beniko," said Byakuya, smiling at Renji.

"Beniko," the king repeated, touching the infant's face, "Red child."

A soft cooing issued from the half dozing boy.

"You have chosen well," commented the king, "And now…the final part of my gift. This gift is bestowed upon the two of you now, but will only come to you in your time of greatest need. Call on it only when you feel that all is lost and you will have my assistance."

He leaned forward and kissed Byakuya, then Renji, then Beniko on the forehead.

"Go now, with my blessing. You face one more great challenge, but I know you will overcome it. Remember my final gift."

They felt the scene around them shift and fade away and were drawn back through night and sky and stars, and back down into the water, from which the family emerged and stepped out onto the shore. Yoruichi and Unohana taichou smiled and stared.

"You should go quickly now," Unohana advised them, "They are coming."

But the air around them filled with the hissing of flash steps and the little family was quickly surrounded.

"Stay where you are," Soi Fon said firmly, "You are all under arrest."


	20. True Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the heels of their son's birth, Byakuya and Renji are separated.

"Stay where you are," Soi Fon said firmly, "You are all under arrest."

"Really," Unohana taichou said in a pleasant tone, "There is no need for unpleasantness. As you can see, Soutaichou's concern over Kuchiki taichou's disappearance is misinformed and both Kuchiki taichou and Abarai fukutaichou are enjoying their new parenthood."

"What?" asked Soi Fon, furrowing her brow sternly.

"Oh silly girl," laughed Yoruichi, "She is telling you it's all right. Byakuya and Renji are just here enjoying time with their newborn son. Now, take your secret mobile corps and go find some real criminals!"

"No record has been entered for a Kuchiki heir," Soi Fon said, stepping forward, "The child's parentage will need to be established."

She stepped toward Byakuya and Renji stepped between them.

"Lay a hand on either one of them and you will lose it," he said calmly.

Renji's zanpakutou suddenly appeared in his hand, as did the Squad Two taichou's. Byakuya placed a hand on Renji's arm.

"This is not the time for violence," he said quietly.

"No one is touching you…and that's final."

"Take them!" Soi Fon ordered.

The secret mobile corps officers stepped forward, closing in around them.

"Renji," whispered Byakuya.

He never got to finish his sentence. Just as the first of the officers reached for them, flash steps sounded all around them and twelve stern-looking raven haired kuchiki elders appeared near them. The youngest, who surprisingly radiated the greatest power, stepped forward.

"In the name of the Kuchiki elders," he said coldly, "I demand that you release our leader and his heir."

"Kuchiki taichou has been declared emotionally unsound and escaped from the hospital where he was receiving treatment," Soi Fon explained.

The head elder stepped forward, his eyes glinting dangerously and his hand on his zanpakutou.

"Our leader is only emotionally unsound if we declare him so. Until we do, your forces do not have the right to detain him. You also have no right to the heir."

And have you proof of the child's parentage?" asked Soi Fon, frowning.

"The birth of the heir strikes a resonance within all of the elders. This child is Kuchiki Byakuya's heir."

"Is it also Abarai Renji's?" asked the Squad Two taichou.

"I cannot tell without further examination," said the head elder, "We will determine that when we return to the clan hall with our leader."

"Abarai Renji is this child's father and my intended. He comes with us as well," stated Byakuya.

The head elder observed him for a moment, frowned and then bowed his head.

"Byakuya-sama, with all due respect, if you have not already obtained a record of marriage, then the clan does not have the right to deny the Gotei 13 access to him. We must first establish parentage, then the council will discuss whether or not the clan will seek protective rights for him."

Byakuya sighed heavily, but nodded in agreement.

"Renji," he said quietly, "Do as you are ordered and give them no reason to add additional charges. I will go through the proper procedures and get you out as soon as possible."

Renji hesitated for a long moment, then let out a long sigh and kissed Byakuya gently. He sheathed his weapon and held it out to Soi Fon. She accepted the blade, then motioned for her officers to bind Renji. Byakuya's eyes held Renji's until the group of secret mobile corps disappeared with him, leaving Byakuya and the elders with Unohana taichou and Yoruichi.

"Well," said Unohana sadly, "I must return to my squad. Do not worry, Kuchiki taichou. I am sure that you will be able to free Abarai fukutaichou soon. I will assign Hanatarou to see him each day to make certain that he comes to no harm."

"Arigato," Byakuya said gratefully, "I would appreciate that."

"Come, Byakuya-sama," the head elder said quietly, "We must bring your son to the clan hall to have him examined and to record his birth. We can see to your needs there as well."

"Arigato, Tetsuya," said Byakuya, holding Beniko against his shoulder.

He turned to Yoruichi.

"Senpai, I thank you for your assistance. I know you have already done a great deal for us, but I would truly appreciate it if you could keep watch over Renji. I will be quite occupied with my efforts to free him."

"Say no more, Byakuya," she answered, smiling, "Renji will have a lot of people watching out for him."

She leaned forward and kissed Beniko on the forehead, prompting the infant to give a light squeal, then she hugged Byakuya. She gave him a mildly surprised look when he hugged her back.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji knelt on the floor of Soutaichou's office, waiting as the old man entered the room and stood, looking down at him sternly.

"Abarai fukutaichou," he said sternly, "I assume that you know why you have been arrested and brought before me?"

"Hai, Soutaichou," Renji said respectfully.

He longed to spout more, but had decided to follow Byakuya's instructions to the letter and not do anything to make his situation worse.

"This is a very troubling situation. I think you can understand the seriousness of what happened."

"Hai, Soutaichou."

He realized what was happening. Soutaichou wanted to draw him into an argument. Renji refused to cooperate. He held his tongue…but it wasn't all that easy to do so, a fact that Soutaichou surely knew!

"Because we are under martial law, the normal referral to Central 46 is waived and I am to hear your arguments. So, explain to me what possessed you to abduct Kuchiki taichou from the hospital and to strain his already poorly balanced mind."

Renji sighed. This was not going to be easy.

"Sir," he said, keeping his voice soft and the tone respectful, "Kuchiki taichou was forced to stay in the hospital against his will."

"He was left emotionally unstable by his experiences in the spirit dimension."

"But sir," Renji went on, still keeping the tone, "He was actually quite lucid. He ordered me to take him from the hospital, himself. And as he ordered it, I felt I had to do as my taichou wished. That is my job as his fukutaichou."

"It is your job to obey the rule of law and the orders handed down by me!"

"Even when they violate our basic rights, Soutaichou? Even when you make an agreement with us and that agreement turns out to have been a lie? Soutaichou, you looked my taichou in the eyes and said that you trusted him. Then you sent him to those idiots who fried his brain…and after that, you tried to have him put away where you wouldn't have to look at him!"

_Shit! So much for staying out of trouble!_

"Silence!" Soutaichou said firmly, "I will keep my own council about what tactics need to be employed. I judged that Kuchiki taichou was already deeply affected, but I thought to preserve him from a complete breakdown by easing the weight of the memories. You, of all people, know what a weight that was on his mind. It is true that his mind-wipe was mishandled, but he was given into the care of professionals…"

"He was farmed out to living world doctors at a 'dead end' facility! I spoke to his doctor. I know where they were preparing to send him! He never would have gotten well there! But I think you know that, Soutaichou! You judged that he was beyond hope. Do you really blame me for wanting to save my taichou? I took him, yes, but I cared for him and he got well, Soutaichou!"

Renji shook his head in realization.

"You aren't upset that I took him…you're upset that he knows now what you tried to do to him! That's it, isn't it!"

"Silence, Abarai fukutaichou!" Soutaichou snapped, "I am incensed that you are unable to follow orders…that you would take action against the leadership of the Gotei 13, especially me!"

"I'll take action against anyone who tries to hurt Byakuya! He is my taichou…and he is my lover and my friend. I have every right and every intention of defending him from anyone who tries to hurt him…even if that is you, Soutaichou."

"Abarai Renji, you have proven by your own actions and words to be a danger to the Gotei 13 and to Kuchiki taichou. You are hereby found guilty of disobeying orders, abducting and imprisoning a senior officer, a special circumstance for abducting and holding a taichou class officer, disturbing the peace and aiding a fugitive. For those offenses, you are sentenced to death by the Sokyoku in thirty days!"

He turned to the waiting guards.

"Take him to the repentance cell to await execution."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya remained in the shadows as he carefully approached the repentance center with Tetsuya at his side. The head elder looked less than happy to be sneaking into the repentance center but was somewhat accustomed to putting up with some eccentricities when it came to their leader. And in any case, he was duty bound to assist Byakuya as their tests had found Renji to be the father of the heir.

He watched disapprovingly as Byakuya distracted the guards so they could sneak past. It seemed somewhat beneath them and he would have preferred to try to handle the situation with diplomacy, but he would be the first to admit that there were times when diplomacy failed to yield a proper result…as in situations where one side was being perfectly unreasonable. And it did seem that that was what seemed to be happening here. He shook his head and followed quietly as Byakuya distracted the last of the guards and the two slipped inside the prison.

They made their way silently up the stairs to the cell on the top floor. As he flash stepped up the stairs, Byakuya found his mind straying to the stories of maidens locked in high towers and heroes coming to rescue them. Unfortunately, his own plan was much less flashy. He knew it would be no good to go on the run again. He would only make things worse if he tried to free Renji and he might just push Soutaichou into an angry confrontation. No, it was better for him to follow his plans, to attempt to free Renji using the rules of noble sovereignty. But his plan would only work if they gained access to Renji for the purpose they had now. So he ran up the stairs until they reached the top and found themselves outside Renji's cell.

Byakuya reached the cell door and looked inside. Renji sat on the bed, staring out the window, studying the stars in the night sky.

"Renji," he called softly.

Renji's head turned and he spotted the cloaked figure standing outside his cell. He broke into a smile and moved quickly to the cell door.

"Taichou!" he exclaimed, "Taichou, I am so glad to see you! You can't imagine how glad. I think everyone around here has gone crazy! They keep saying that I abducted you! But you went to Soutaichou, right? You told him I didn't abduct you, didn't you?"

"I haven't been to Soutaichou yet," admitted Byakuya, "I want to use the rules of clan sovereignty to help to free you. But I have to make you a part of the clan to do that. It took a while to get approval from the elders, but once we established paternity of Beniko, I obtained permission from the clan to marry you. That is why I'm here with Tetsuya. As clan leader, he can marry the two of us."

Renji was staring at him wordlessly, his expression telling Byakuya that he had missed something important. He reached through the bars and gently touched the redhead's face.

"Renji…" he said softly, "Renji, is something wrong?"

Renji stared at him a moment longer, then shook his head in confusion.

"Taichou, I must be the one going crazy here…because nothing that anyone says makes sense to me anymore. Not what they said that I did and not what you're saying now!"

"Renji?" Byakuya queried, "Renji, what's wrong?"

"Taichou, they said that I abducted you and I know I would never even think of doing that! And now you show up and start talking about elders and sovereignty and getting married…It's all just…very confusing! I mean, you're my taichou and I do feel very close to you, very protective of you…but I don't know if I can just, you know, marry you like that. I mean, we've never talked about having feelings for each other or…or maybe I'm just misunderstanding you…You are saying you want to…marry me?"

"Renji…what in kami's name is wrong with you? You and I…we were together just last night…we have a child. Do you mean to tell me…that you remember nothing of these things?"

Renji stared at the devastated look in Byakuya's eyes and felt as though some horrible joke was being played on him.

"Taichou," he said miserably, "by my recollection, I remember being in the office with you working on paperwork yesterday. There was an emergency of some kind…and it was raining. I am really very sorry…but I don't remember us being together last night. I was at home last night…in my apartment. I'm really confused now. I thought it was some kind of mistake…but I know you wouldn't lie to me. Taichou, what's happening? Why have I become so confused?"

Byakuya stared into Renji's tormented eyes, his own filling with disbelief. He stepped back, placing a hand over his mouth as realization set in.

"Renji!" he whispered, "You really don't remember?"

Renji shook his head.

"No…no, I don't."

Byakuya felt as though the floor had opened up and swallowed him, Panic rose up inside and overwhelmed his senses. He managed a short breath, but it released as a barely audible sob. His heart broke at the cruelty, and the betrayal, at the loss of everything they had worked so hard to build.

"Taichou, please," Renji said softly, reaching through the bars, "Please explain to me why this is happening. They are going to execute me…and I don't even remember doing anything wrong!"

He wanted to cry at the unfairness, at the loss…but he reached down inside and gathered his strength. He stepped closer and rested a gentle hand on the redhead's shoulder.

"Renji, don't worry," he said softly, "I promise you…I won't let them execute you…and I promise you…that I will help you to remember everything!"


	21. Nobility's Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya fights for Renji's freedom.

"Renji, don't worry," Byakuya said softly, "I promise you…I won't let them execute you…and I promise you…that I will help you to remember everything!"

Renji gave a small sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Taichou. I was worried about…well if it was true and I abducted you, that you would…"

"I won't let any more harm come to you, Renji," Byakuya promised, "but we do need to get you out of here. I do not wish to force you into marriage if that's not what you want, so I will ask you…Are you willing to marry me?"

"It will do you no good," said a voice from behind them.

Byakuya turned.

"Soutaichou," he said warily.

"Come with me, Kuchiki Byakuya. I wish to speak with you before you do something you will regret."

"I will never regret protecting someone I love."

Soutaichou frowned more deeply.

"Come with me to speak privately."

"Do you wish for me to accompany you, Byakuya-sama?" Tetsuya asked, frowning at Soutaichou, "I do not think he can be trusted."

Byakuya shook his head.

"I do not fear him. Go…I will return to meet with the council after I have spoken to the captain commander."

Still frowning deeply, Tetsuya turned and swept away. Byakuya turned back to Renji.

"I will see to your release, Abarai fukutaichou. Do not worry."

Renji nodded and returned to sit on the bed by the window.

_He said he loves me…He wants to marry me. Is this for real? Or is it only proof that Soutaichou was right when he said Kuchiki taichou had lost his senses?_

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya knelt before an also kneeling captain commander on the hard wooden floor of the first division. He tried to remember how many times his knees had touched the surface, but imagined that it must be in the thousands or more. And always, he had felt that, even if they disagreed, he could trust Soutaichou. But sadly, now things were different. Now Byakuya wasn't sure that he could ever trust this man again.

"Soutaichou," he said, not raising his eyes, "I do not understand why you have done this. Have I not served the Gotei 13 faithfully? Have I not trusted you and followed your orders, even when it was difficult? And now you do this? Why would you take Renji's memories? I know that you did not wish for us to remember, but I agreed we would never speak of what we knew to anyone. Why then did you have the secret mobile corps attempt to adjust my memories? And why now, have you taken his? Please explain to me. I want to understand why you would do this…"

The captain commander gazed sadly down at the noble's bowed head.

"Kuchiki Byakuya, you must know that I am deeply aware of and I do very much appreciate, not only the faithfulness of your clan, but also your own dedication to our king. There is no question that you have always served our king with honor and loyalty. And it grieves me that I have done that which would cause you to question your ties to the Gotei 13…and in particular, to me. I will do my best to explain what happened…and why I have acted this way. I offer the story of what happened, not as an excuse, but in the way of explanation."

He rose and walked slowly to the window, leaning on his walking stick and staring out at the gardens. Byakuya kept his eyes lowered and forced himself to listen calmly.

"In the time of my father, there was a raid on the Spirit King's palace…much like the one that took the life of our king. In this raid also, the king fell…and my father was faced with the responsibility of initiating the rebirth ritual. Realize that the rebirth ritual is a complicated thing. There are rules that must be strictly adhered to for the ritual to work. And there are harsh consequences for straying from the confines of the ritual. When it fell to my father to initiate the ritual, he carefully followed the rules. A powerful noble and a strong fukutaichou were chosen to go to the spirit dimension to see to the ritual. Without going into detail, the attempt ended in disaster. The consort was killed and the process had to be started again with a new Interim King and consort. The one who acted as Interim King during the failed attempt was allowed to keep his memories. And my father was not aware, but that shinigami held a grudge against the Gotei 13 and the Spirit King because he blamed them for the failure of the first attempt…and the death of his consort. He returned to the Seireitei and never spoke his thoughts to anyone, but he carried the anger and hatred in his heart. His dark attitude toward the Gotei 13 and the king was passed on through the generations and one day, one of those decendants betrayed the Gotei 13. You know the man of whom I speak…Aizen Sousuke."

"Aizen Sousuke?" Byakuya repeated in surprise, "Did he know?"

"I do not believe he was aware of why his family so despised the Gotei 13. However, whether or not he was is immaterial. What is important to note is how the one involved in the failed ritual affected our lives. His hatred of the Gotei 13 was carried through generations and culminated in the death of our king at Aizen Sousuke's hands."

"So…what are you saying? That they should have mind-wiped him? That they should have killed him?"

"I do not know what would have prevented what happened. But when the last Spirit King came to power, he received a dark warning of his death in the form of a prophetic dream and he decided that the process must be protected in the future. He required of me that if he was killed that I protect the information about the ritual by carefully controlling it. I was to give as little information as possible and to mind-wipe anyone involved in the rebirth afterward. He also shared with me the content of his dream."

He reached into his shihakushou and removed a small scroll. He handed it to Byakuya and the noble opened it and read the contents, his face growing more and more pale, and his eyes widening in disbelief.

"You knew?" he whispered, his face paling, "Soutaichou…you knew it would be me? And…and you knew that I was fated to die? Soutaichou…"

"I knew."

Byakuya's eyes closed against the admission.

"Soutaichou…" Byakuya whispered, "Why?"

"Understand, Kuchiki Byakuya, that the fates of the three worlds were at stake…"

"But you could have told me," Byakuya whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "Kami, you set me up to die! You could have told me what was happening and you know I would have gone willingly anyway! You know me! My sense of duty would have demanded that I go! But you lied to me. You lied to everyone. You said that it was best that a virgin be sent…because it would aid in recovery! You specifically spoke of my recovery! But it wasn't about recovery…it was about being certain I would go. You made it seem there was choice in this when there was none. You played god with my life and sent us to the spirit dimension, trading my life for this rebirth, without even telling Renji or me that I would never return…without giving me a chance to make peace with my fate…without allowing me a chance to say good bye!"

"Kuchiki Byakuya…my hands were tied. I was under the orders of the former king to do exactly as I did. I was to explain the rebirth ritual to you. I was to speak of the rules, to allow you to offer yourself…and I was ordered to act as though I expected that you would return…as though I did not know this attempt would end in your death. I was to give no sign of our foreknowledge that might have changed what was to be. The king was convinced that it was too dangerous for you to know. And whether or not I agreed with him, I was required to follow his orders."

Byakuya's eyes closed and a tear broke free and rolled down his face.

"And is that what you're doing now, Soutaichou? Are you following orders by taking Renji's memories? By ordering his death?" he asked, his voice trembling.

The captain commander turned again to look out the window.

"There was some choice about who would accompany you on this mission. The prophetic dream gave only a few hints at who should be chosen and the king left it to me to make that decision within those parameters. The person in the dream was male, was taichou level, but not a taichou, was very powerful, and was secretly in love with you. I watched you and the ones around you, looking for any sign of who it could be. I could not unravel the mystery, however, and I chose Abarai Renji because he fit the most parameters. I was not sure if I had chosen correctly, so I had to send the two of you and wait to see what all of our fates would be."

He turned back and watched in silence for a moment as another tear rolled down Byakuya's face.

"I watched you leave…and my heart grieved, thinking you would not return alive. But you did. You did return…and when you did, I was confused by it. I thought it to be a mistake, that I had chosen the wrong person to assist you and things had gone wrong. I feared the worst. But then, Abarai Renji mentioned that you had, in fact, died…that somehow you had been restored…that the new king had not allowed you to be lost, and I was glad for it. But I could see that you were badly broken by what you had endured…and despite my happiness at your return, I was still under orders that none be left with information about the rebirth ritual. I made a false agreement with you, because I did not wish to engage you in a battle over it while you were in such a poor state. There was no choice, in any case and I thought it best to do what I could to calm you, so that you could be mind-wiped safely. But the procedure failed…and Abarai defied orders and tried to leave with you. You understand that I could not leave the two of you with the information you had…You were retaken and Abarai was arrested. I planned to have you mind-wiped again, but I was warned by Unohana taichou that you were not able to endure the procedure. I had also planned that Abarai would be mind-wiped, but he escaped our custody and disappeared."

"You were worried that he would find me," Byakuya whispered, his hands clenching and his body shaking softly, "That's why you sent me to the living world, why you were going to have me locked up in that horrid place."

"I could not allow Abarai Renji to find you…and he was no longer taking orders from me."

"But he did find me," Byakuya went on, his voice barely audible, "He found me and, unlike you, he didn't think I should be abandoned…"

He paused, releasing a shaky breath.

"DISCARDED!" he hissed, choking on the word.

He took another slow, painful breath.

"Renji believed he could make me well again. He took the broken remains of the person you shattered…and he rebuilt me…piece by piece, until I could stand on my own again. You must hate him for that. Because, now I am in control of my senses. I know exactly what you did to us and what you still plan to do…and you fear my knowing, don't you, Soutaichou?"

"Tread cautiously, Kuchiki taichou," Soutaichou said warningly, "I am still acting under orders, as I have been all along. You, on the other hand, seem to have been rebuilt into someone who no longer answers to orders…much like your errant fukutaichou!"

"So what are your orders now?" Byakuya asked, his voice cold and emotionless, "You have mind-wiped Renji. Will you do the same to me?"

The old man's eyes met his, flaring softly.

"No."

"No?" Byakuya repeated, his voice laced with sarcasm, "Why not, Soutaichou? Weren't you given orders? Isn't it too dangerous to leave me with this information? Why the change of heart? Did you develop sudden feelings of remorse, now that you must look me in the eyes?"

"You have forgotten your place, Kuchiki taichou."

"My place," Byakuya hissed, "What place is that? My place as sacrifice? As the one whose trust you betrayed? As the one you abandoned?"

His reiatsu flared around him, sending a breeze through the room.

"What are you going to do? Are you going to kill Renji? Are you going to carry out his execution?"

The captain commander's reiatsu pulsed softly in answer.

"I will do as I must. He defied my orders. And he did abduct you. You know that the penalty for those offenses is death."

"But that's not why…That isn't all of it…is it Soutaichou?" whispered Byakuya, closing his eyes again, "Tell me, Soutaichou…tell me why my friend, my comrade, my rescuer, my fukutaichou…my lover, must die! And do not speak to me of orders…"

The captain commander sighed deeply.

"He is too dangerous."

Byakuya's lips curled into a tight, sarcastic smile.

"Too…dangerous…"

"He is too dangerous!" Soutaichou said, striking the floor with his walking stick, "His love for you, his protectiveness…made him defend you recklessly. I could not be certain that he would not become an unstable force and act out violently upon learning what was done. He was picking up the broken pieces of you and he knew that it was the fault of the Gotei 13 that you were lied to, that you were sent, that this was done to you. He could have turned on the Gotei 13…or even the king…"

"Renji wouldn't do that," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "He is too loyal…"

"He is loyal to you!" shouted Soutaichou, "not to the Gotei 13…and not to me! He is loyal to you…"

He stepped toward Byakuya and the dark gray eyes rose to meet his coldly.

"And so you will kill him for no better reason than that he is loyal to, and defends his taichou?" Byakuya asked with forced calm, "I don't believe that, not for a minute, Soutaichou. I may be broken and my mind battered, but I am not stupid…"

"No," Soutaichou said, lowering his eyes, "No, you are not. And if you truly desire an honest answer, then I will give you one, Kuchiki Byakuya. But keep in mind that you may not fare well once you know it…"

"I do not fare well now," said Byakuya shortly, "Tell me, then. I am waiting…"

"You are the reason that Renji must be executed," Soutaichou said, looking him squarely in the eyes.

Byakuya stared, his eyes widening.

"Me?" he asked, disbelieving, "Why me? What have I to…"

"You!" said Soutaichou firmly, "I have orders that I am not to leave the two of you in possession of the information about the rebirth ritual…but it seems that I am unable to follow through on those orders, for a few reasons. First, you may be somewhat recovered, but your mind remains in a fragile state…and you would not tolerate well another mind-wipe. In addition, it would not sit well with your clan if I were to destroy your mind or kill you to protect the information. I will not risk war with your clan. We all have too much to lose. You are beyond my reach. But Abarai Renji is not."

"But you mind-wiped him! He has no memory of anything regarding the former king's death! Why kill him now?" Byakuya objected.

"Because…of you. As you said, he is your friend, your comrade, your rescuer, your fukutaichou and your lover…He answers to you and does not obey my commands. You control Abarai Renji, but I no longer have the power to control you. Yet I must see to my orders as best I can."

"You cannot do this, Soutaichou. You cannot kill Renji."

"I must. Under the king's order, I must not allow him to return to you. It would be against the orders I was given to allow the two of you that knowledge. If I cannot touch you, Byakuya, I must keep him from returning to you, from having any chance of regaining that information from you…I am sorry, Byakuya. Abarai Renji must die."

"I won't let you do this!" Byakuya said, his voice shaking, "He hasn't done anything to deserve this fate!"

"He will not obey my orders. He obeys one person, Kuchiki Byakuya…and that person is emotionally unbalanced, and arguing with my orders…and he has just spent a great deal of time expressing his feelings that he has been betrayed. I cannot control you. You are in the hands of your clan and too well protected. And as I said, I will not bring war with them over this. I will allow you to leave here untouched. But what that means, Kuchiki Byakuya, is that Abarai Renji must die. We cannot take the chance that another Aizen Sousuke will come out of this! The rules of your clan will restrain you and your son from acting out against me, but there is nothing to restrain Abarai Renji if he acts out in your defense."

"So…because I did not yield my memories, Renji will die?" Byakuya raged, "You can't do this, Soutaichou! Take the memories then…I don't care! Just, don't do this!"

The captain commander gazed at him with sympathy.

"You are barely recovered, Kuchiki Byakuya. Your mind is still affected by the rebirth and the unsuccessful mind-wipe. To do that would cause your mind to collapse completely. I know this for a fact. There is no way around this. Renji must die."

Byakuya pushed himself back onto his knees, his hands clenching.

"And what if the clan brings war against you for this?" he asked bitterly, "I am their leader. I can order them to do so."

The captain commander met his eyes squarely.

"You may try to convince them, of course. But keep in mind, first of all, that you now have a record of recent mental illness. I do not think the elders will like the idea of someone like that making war plans. Add to that the fact that you are now the only one besides me who even remembers that the king was killed. The rest of the captains believe that our forces killed Aizen Sousuke…and everyone believes that you and Abarai were involved in the conflict and you were injured and your mind was affected by the illusions of Aizen Sousuke's zanpakutou."

"You mind-wiped all of your own captains? All of them?"

"I did what I was ordered to do to protect the information. And it is done now. You and I are the only ones who remember. If you say anything, you will not be believed. And in any case, Abarai Renji is your peasant, male lover…one not married to you and not protected by your clan. I doubt they will favor a war over him."

"We have a child together," Byakuya said firmly, "and I have leave to seek his hand."

"Good luck attempting to do that then, but I assure you that I will not allow you to reach him to do so. Understand that I cannot. I took his memories and if not for your inability to be relieved of your own, I might have been able to let him go. But that is not possible now. I cannot chance that if he is released, you will tell him what happened and the worst will come to be. So I cannot allow the two of you to be together. That way is closed."

"No…you cannot do this!" Byakuya said, his eyes flaring, "I won't let you!"

Senbonzakura appeared in his hand. Suddenly, Byakuya found himself contained within a sphere of fire.

_How is this possible? He never even drew his blade!_

"Stop," said the captain commander firmly, "Do not be a fool. You cannot defeat me…and I will not harm you. Now go. You are granted a medical leave until you have regained your senses. Your actions only support my contention that your mind is not yet recovered."

The fire spun and flared around Byakuya until he was dizzy with the intense heat and the motion. The heat from the flames seared his skin and burned in his lungs when he tried to inhale. He swayed and fell forward onto his hands and knees. And when it finally flared and faded, he found himself collapsed, alone, sweating and shaking uncontrollably on the floor of the office.


	22. The Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya struggles to reach Renji before he can be executed.

_Byakuya felt the strong hands gripping him, holding him in place, forcing him to watch as the guards led Renji past him._

_"Renji?" he called as his lover passed by him as though he hadn't seen…_

_"He can't hear you," said a cold, emotionless voice._

_Byakuya froze._

_"He can't see you."_

_He knew the voice and it sent shivers through him._

_"Let go of me!" he yelled, pulling free and running forward._

_The guards leading Renji to the Sokyoku stopped and stared at him. Renji looked straight ahead as though he didn't exist._

_"Why won't you look at me…Renji?" he asked, placing a hand on his arm._

_But the eyes that met his were not warm and brown. They were cold, golden and emotionless. Byakuya stepped back in surprise._

_"You…"_

_The tattoos were changing before his eyes, growing lighter…turning golden…_

_"Where is Renji?" he whispered, stepping back._

_Strong arms wrapped around him from behind, holding him tightly and lowering him to his knees. Something was slowly soaking into the fabric of his shihakushou…and a coppery smell rose up from the ground. His eyes scanned the area around him and his breath caught in his throat._

_"Tet-suya?" he whispered brokenly, gazing at the broken, bleeding body that lay in a pool of blood beside him._

_The rest of the others lay scattered around the base of the Sokyoku, all torn and bloodied like the head elder, their faces twisted in agony and their dark eyes open and fastened on him with expressions of dismay…of betrayal._

_"Let go!" he cried, reaching for his cousin./p >_

_"Tetsuya?" he whispered again, taking his cousin in his arms and searching for signs of life, "Tetsuya?"_

_"He's gone," said an old man's voice, "They're all gone, Kuchiki Byakuya…and you have only yourself to blame!"_

_"Soutaichou…why have you done this?"_

_"You have forgotten your place!" the old man said._

_He held his cousin's body against his chest and stared up at the captain commander._

_"You were supposed to die, but you did not. You were supposed to forget, but you would not. They stood between us and refused to move. Now they have sacrificed themselves for you, Kuchiki Byakuya. You have lost your family…your noble line. Now you will lose him."_

_He felt the heat of the Sokyoku as it came to life, the hot flames licking at his skin as he sat beneath it. He felt the roar of fire and power and felt it gather itself to begin moving._

_But Byakuya was faster._

_"You are the sacrifice," he heard in his mind._

_He rose up and in between them, staring down into Soutaichou's eyes as the great firebird shrieked and bore down on him. A flash of heat passed through him and he could feel the searing of his flesh as the bird approached. He moved into place as the firebird swept forward, and he met its eyes fearlessly. Light flared around him and flame engulfed him…and Byakuya felt his heart shatter, hearing Renji's final word as Byakuya's body was forced back against his and the two were consumed._

_"T-tai-chou…"_

"RENJI!" Byakuya screamed, sitting up suddenly.

He leaned forward, placing his face in his hands and breathing slowly to calm his racing heart. The pounding of feet sounded in the hallway and a servant rushed into the room.

"Kuchiki-sama?" he said in a shaken voice.

He slowly approached the trembling form in the bed.

"Sir?" he said softly, placing a gentle hand respectfully on his arm.

Byakuya tore away from the touch, coming to his feet and backing away, his eyes wide and senseless.

"Kuchiki-sama?" the servant whispered in a frightened voice, "it's me…Michio. Sir?"

Byakuya gazed at him, wild-eyed and lost, for a moment longer, then fled into the garden. The brutally cold air struck his skin and sent a shiver through him, but he ran barefoot under the stars and moon, his feet sinking into the soaked ground…and he heard water falling. He was in the King's Garden again, cold and alone…waiting for those arms to take hold of him again…to take him to the ground…

Someone took hold of his wrist and a hand slid under his chin. Startled into motion, he tried frantically to pull away, but the hands refused to release him. He was falling…onto the grass…he smelled the scent of wet soil, and crushed grass and flowers…

"Byakuya-sama."

A voice was breaking through.

"Byakuya-sama, it was just a dream. Cousin…"

Dark blue familial eyes gazed deeply into his, reflecting a look of relief as Byakuya gradually calmed and regained his senses. They were kneeling in the grass, their yukatas wet where they were set against the ground. He was trembling and he could feel the night air freezing the tears on his face.

_We should not shed tears._

He reached up to brush the tears away and released the breath he had been holding without realizing.

"Tetsuya," he said softly, trembling at the memory of his cousin's torn and bloodied body, the blank, staring eyes.

His cousin nodded encouragingly and helped him to his feet. He waved off the servant that stood shivering nearby and turned Byakuya back toward his room.

"I forgot that you were here tonight," Byakuya said apologetically, "I am sorry to have awakened you."

"Byakuya-sama…my cousin, I'm here to be awakened…whenever you need it. Obviously, the mission that robbed you of your senses is still taking its toll…but you are not alone. I am here to help.

A soft cry, caught Byakuya's attention and his eyes drifted to Beniko's room.

"Beniko," Byakuya whispered.

"Perhaps it would be helpful to see him…to hold him for a bit," Tetsuya suggested.

Byakuya nodded and started toward the room. Tetsuya started to follow, but then turned away.

"I will have tea brought," he said, flash stepping toward the kitchen.

Byakuya realized suddenly that he was still shivering with cold and returned to his room to slip a warm robe around himself. He walked unhurriedly to Beniko's room, where the female servant sat rocking the fussy infant. At the sight of Byakuya, Beniko gave a small, happy cry and reached out with his hands, cooing softly. Byakuya exchanged soft smiles with the servant, then accepted the infant from her extended arms. He rested the boy against his shoulder, nuzzling the sweet smelling face and enjoying the feel of tiny fingers tangling in his hair.

"Beniko," he whispered.

And he felt the slow return of calm as he wrapped the baby warmly and walked back out into the garden, sitting down in a reclining chair and turning the boy so that he could see the stars and moon.

"You see," he whispered against the boy's cheek, "The moon is full tonight. It looks lovely that way, doesn't it, Beniko?"

He heard footsteps approaching and Tetsuya settled into the chair next to him, setting the tea on the table in between them. He followed Byakuya's eyes up into the night sky.

"So what will you tell the council?" Byakuya asked, "Will you tell them that their leader is out of his mind? That he should be replaced? Institutionalized?"

Tetsuya looked at him out of the corner of one eye.

"I think all of us understand that our leader…our cousin…is suffering the effects of a deep betrayal. I don't think that simply because you are responding like a real person that you should be condemned. For all that we are noble, there is a heart within each of us, Byakuya-sama. And yours has been horribly broken. The question is…what comes next? What will you ask of us, Byakuya-sama?"

"What are the councilor's leanings regarding Renji?" asked Byakuya, touching Beniko's reaching fingertips with his.

"No one wishes to go to war over it, but certainly, we can see that some action must be taken. He might be a peasant, male…not quite what the clan had in mind for your life partner…but he is this boy's father. And add to that, the fact that he seems to have done a grand job of picking up the broken pieces of our leader after Soutaichou used him so poorly. While you have refused to give us the full details of that betrayal, it is gratifying that he stayed with you and offered you the comfort you needed so that you might return to us. We do need your leadership, Cousin…but we need you to be strong again. All of us understand that Abarai Renji is the one who helps you find your strength. And knowing that…we are wise enough not only to not stand in your way, but to assist as we can…without becoming rash, that is."

"A well-conceived answer, Cousin," Byakuya said softly, "but I do not know what action I can take. I do not know where Renji is. He was moved from the repentance center and his reiatsu concealed. I am attempting to track him, but it is difficult…even with my considerable tracking ability."

"Would you like an added hand…and extra pair of eyes and arms?" Tetsuya asked, his sapphire eyes glinting softly.

"You are offering to join me in activity that could earn the ire of Soutaichou. I would not be the cause of harm to you…or the bringer of dishonor to our name."

"Byakuya…Soutaichou dishonors our clan by treating our leader with such disregard. And I do not fear him…any more than my leader does!"

Byakuya nodded.

"It is not fear, but healthy respect for his power that you must remember, Cousin."

He sat up, cradling Beniko in his arms and tilting his head as the infant pulled on a thick silken strand of his hair. Tetsuya smiled and tickled the boy under the chin.

"I will respect his power," he said, nodding, "but even respecting it, I might also find a way around it. If you will put Beniko down, we can go to look for Abarai Renji now…while darkness will better cover our motions."

"Now?" Byakuya said, looking surprised.

"Well," sighed Tetsuya, "It seems that the alternative to that is to lie down again only to be rudely reawakened when you have another nightmare, "I am not likely to sleep until you do, Cousin."

Byakuya couldn't quite hold back a smile.

"You must truly regret coming to stay at Kuchiki Manor," he said softly.

"Not at all, Cousin. Whatever I can do to help."

"Arigato, Tetsuya. I will go and return Beniko to the nursery," he said, giving his cousin a grateful nod.

"And I will be getting dressed. Something dark, I think. Something fitting for nocturnal explorations."

Byakuya stood and flash stepped back to the nursery, drawing a soft giggle from the cooing bundle in his arms. He set the infant down in his bed and left him with a kiss. The soft sound of his attendant's singing rose up behind him as he returned to his room. He slipped into his shihakushou and stepped back out into the garden, where he found Tetsuya, already waiting. They flash stepped out of the gardens, through the silent house and out into the empty streets.

"So which way shall we go first?" Tetsuya asked, looking around.

"We begin where he last was…the repentance center. We can scan the area for any clues. They can't have hidden everything."

The two proceeded at flash step speed until they neared the tall tower. They moved out of the reach of the lights, Tetsuya a silent shadow in Byakuya's wake. Reaching the base of the tower, the two separated and worked their way carefully around the building, avoiding the patrolling guards and the eyes that looked down from the watchtowers. They switched search areas and searched again, then finally met amongst a group of tall bushes.

"Did you find anything?" Byakuya asked softly.

"Yes," Tetsuya whispered, "I think you could say I have."

Byakuya felt something brush against his leg and looked down.

"Hello, Byakuya," said the black cat, "What brings you here on such a cold night? You lose something?"

"Hmm," Tetsuya said, nodding, "He has. But I think that his chances of finding it again have just improved dramatically."

The cat sat down and licked a paw, then looked back up at them. Tetsuya smiled and bowed his head slightly.

"Good evening, Lady Yoruichi," he said warmly.

Byakuya shook his head and rolled his eyes. A soft chuckle issued from the cat and it shimmered and took on Yoruichi's shinigami form. Byakuya was pleased to note that, for once, she appeared with her clothes on.

"Good evening, gentlemen," she said, smiling, "so you're trying to figure out where they've taken Abarai Renji as well?"

"Hai," said Tetsuya, "but I am afraid that we are having trouble picking up any sort of trail. Byakuya is particularly skilled in matters of masked and covered trails, but we have found nothing."

"I found the same thing, myself," Yoruichi admitted, "I was wondering if they might have anticipated Byakuya's particular abilities and considered that when moving Renji."

"Hmm…" said Tetsuya, nodding, "good instinct. But what do you think that might translate into?"

"I would have expected some number of false trails, but it seems they didn't bother," said Byakuya, "That would suggest that he did not leave this way."

"But we covered the ground all around the center," said Tetsuya, furrowing his brow thoughtfully, Are you saying they did not touch the ground, maybe took him in some kind of container?"

"Perhaps," said Byakuya, nodding.

"That should have left at least a glimmer on the air…something!" Yoruichi insisted, "You're senses are very strong, Byakuya, which leads me to believe that he did not travel in the air or on the ground."

Her eyes met Byakuya's and Tetsuya's, and the three spoke together.

"Underground!"

XXXXXXXXXXX

Renji woke and found himself in a dark, quiet, and much colder cell than the one he remembered. He thought back to when he had been awake last. The guard had come to his cell, bearing food and he had eaten…then he had become inordinately sleepy.

"That's pretty damned rude, drugging a guy like that," he mused softly, listening as the sound of dripping water reached his ears.

"Hello?" he called softly, "Is anyone here?"

A bored looking guard appeared at the cell door.

"You need something, Abarai fukutaichou?" he asked in a casual tone.

"Yeah, I need to get the hell out of here," he said, smiling sadly, "but I'm pretty sure you aren't gonna let me go, so I'll settle for some company, if you don't mind. It's damned boring sitting in here with nothing to do but contemplate the walls."

"Sorry sir, but we've been forbidden to even get close to the bars."

"They think I'm that dangerous?" Renji said, looking amused, "Shit, who'd have thought?"

The guard chuckled softly.

"I imagine no one would mind if we talked," he said quietly.

Renji nodded.

"What's going on around the Seireitei these days?" he asked.

"Still quite a bit of hollow activity. Ever since our side killed Aizen Sousuke…"

Something flickered in Renji's mind…He saw a flash image of Byakuya kneeling on grass in a huge, beautiful garden, tears rising in his eyes. The picture in his mind was so odd, it was jarring when the guard spoke again.

"Sir…I just want to say…I'm really sorry about…well, what they're doing. It must be hard…having your taichou lose it like that. And no one would have thought it would happen to Kuchiki taichou of all people…"

"Yeah…well, you'd think if a guy was gonna trade his life for protecting his taichou, he'd at least remember committing the crime," Renji sighed, "It's pretty damned hard to defend yourself when you can't remember what you did."

The guard nodded.

"You hungry, sir?"

Renji smiled.

"I'm always hungry," he chuckled, "um…unless you're just going to knock me out and move me again."

The guard gave him a sad smile.

"Not yet," he said, "but you should know that Soutaichou is going to keep having you moved…to keep him from finding you."

"Hey," said a nearby voice, "That's enough. Don't get so friendly with him that you forget why you're here."

"I won't."

A moment later, Renji thought he heard a soft grunt. The guard near him turned and suddenly dropped in his tracks. Renji stared as Yoruichi, Byakuya and Tetsuya stepped into view.

"Good evening, Abarai fukutaichou," Byakuya said warmly.

"Taichou…" Renji breathed happily.


	23. In Order to Protect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle to save Renji yields tragic consequences.

"Cousin," said Tetsuya, "we should be going. I sense others in the area."

Byakuya sent a concentrated beam of spirit energy into the lock and watched it fall away. He pulled the cell door open and Renji burst out and slid to a stop in front of Byakuya, his eyes shining with happiness. Byakuya gazed at him for a long moment, then tentatively moved forward and embraced him. Renji froze, startled at the sudden warmth, then smiled widely and returned the embrace.

"I am pleased to see that you were not harmed, Renji," Byakuya said quietly, "I was…concerned."

The brown eyes met his and the warmth moved through Byakuya like liquid fire. He stared, not knowing what to say, but was urged into action by Tetsuya.

"Byakuya-sama, we must go now."

Byakuya nodded and quickly released the seal on Renji's powers. The four moved silently into the sewers, moving swiftly away from the voices that sounded in the distance. Yoruichi led the way, followed by Byakuya, with Tetsuya at his left elbow and Renji on his right.

"How have you been, Taichou?" Renji asked, "I was worried about you."

"I am faring well enough, Abarai, especially now that you are free. We must see that we keep you that way."

"Where are we going?" Renji asked, flash stepping forward.

"Karakura Town?" Buakuya suggested.

"We might not be able to," Yoruichi said, looking around and turning a corner, "As soon as they know Renji is gone, they will seek to close the senkaimon. Remember, his is a capital crime, so they'll go to greater lengths."

"Weren't you planning to stop that by marrying him, Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya reminded him.

"Byakuya shook his head.

"I will not force Renji into anything he is not ready to commit to," he said firmly.

Renji studied him as they continued to flash step along the sewer pipe. He didn't look to Renji to have lost his senses…or to be unbalanced, but…how could he be sure? Still, it didn't seem that Yoruichi or Tetsuya were taking time out to question his sanity…and his sanity notwithstanding, he had just rescued Renji, something Renji wasn't about to forget. Then, there was that hug. The warmth of it still circulated in Renji's blood.

"Damn…"

"Pardon?" Byakuya said, glancing to the side as they flash stepped forward.

"Oh…nothing taichou…just thinking…" he said, mentally kicking himself.

They slowed to rest and take stock of their position. Renji sat down on a small brick outcropping and, after a moment, Byakuya sat down next to him. They turned a bit sideways to see each other better.

"I need to leave for a moment to scout ahead." Yoruichi informed them, "I'll be right back."

She raced away.

Renji sat, gazing at Byakuya, not quite knowing what to say.

"I know what you're thinking," Byakuya told him quietly, "I know they told you that I had lost my mind…and for a while, that was true. But Renji, you were with me during that time. It was you who brought me out of that darkness."

Renji opened his mouth to speak, but Byakuya brought his fingers gently to the redhead's lips. And all at once, Renji had another flash picture…of Byakuya in bed next to him, leaning forward and kissing him very lightly on the lips.

"What is it?" Byakuya asked.

"I…remember you kissing me…at least…it feels like a memory."

"Would you like me to refresh your memory, Renji?" Byakuya said softly.

Renji froze like a startled deer as Byakuya slowly closed the distance between them and brought their lips together. He kept the pressure light and gentle. Renji felt something like the tickle of a thousand hell butterflies in his stomach and he sighed and leaned into the kiss, hungry for more. He wanted to grab Byakuya and hold him tightly, to feel the warmth of that body touching his as their mouths explored each other, but being that they were still in Tetsuya's company and that the sewers were hardly the place for him to show his affection for the noble, he pulled away respectfully, smiling and meeting the now-warm gray eyes affectionately. His heart fluttered again at the expression on Byakuya's face. There was feeling there, expressed in a way it never had been before, and it left Renji feeling that if he were to die, right then and there, at very least, he would die knowing that finally…he held this man's heart in a way no one else ever would. Yes, that expression told him that Kuchiki Byakuya was truly in love with him. He was not out of his mind.

But beneath the beautiful display of affection, there was sadness. There was a half-hidden despair, a silent agony that rested there, something gave Renji a very cold feeling. And he decided that whatever had really happened to Byakuya, the noble had been deeply hurt. So he pushed away Soutaichou's words…that Kuchiki Byakuya had lost his mind, that he was lost in illusion. Renji looked into the dark gray eyes and he knew in his heart that something quite different was going on. And he resolved to wait patiently to find out what it was. Byakuya would tell him. And Renji decided that no matter what anyone said, he would put his faith in his taichou.

He touched Byakuya's face gently and the noble leaned forward to taste his lips again, and Renji felt deep happiness well up inside him.

"Renji," whispered Byakuya, "I want to tell you. I know you don't remember, but your love helped me to complete the most difficult mission I have ever faced. I wouldn't have survived it if not for you. And no matter how long it takes, I will show you my gratitude for that. Aishiteru yo…"

Renji took Byakuya's face in his hands.

"What did happen? Tell me. Taichou, I can see that it hurt you badly."

"Come on!" said Yoruichi's voice from somewhere ahead of them, "Quickly!"

"They were on their feet and flash stepping again and again, feeling the reiatsu of others closing in. They burst out of the sewers and into an empty park, then raced for the senkaimon. They had almost reached it when the secret mobile corps began to appear around them. They tried to flash step away, but were quickly surrounded. Yoruichi turned and gazed back at Byakuya apologetically. Renji and Tetsuya moved in close to Byakuya on either side. The four gasped softly as Soutaichou appeared before them, holding his zanpakutou ready in his hand.

"Do not move. You are all under arrest. And if you resist, you will leave us with no choice but to destroy you."

Byakuya opened his mouth to speak, but a sudden movement at his side, drew his attention. Tetsuya stepped forward, his hand on his zanpakutou and approached the captain commander.

"I demand that we be granted custody of the shinigami, Abarai Renji, on grounds of noble sovereignty!" he said firmly, "This man is under the protection of the Kuchiki noble house, and you will not be allowed to harm or detain him."

Soutaichou shook his head negatively.

"You have no grounds for such a claim. Abarai Renji is not of your blood…so does not enjoy noble privilege. Stand down, Councilor!"

Tetsuya shook his head firmly.

"Abarai Renji has received provisional acceptance into the Kuchiki family and has been granted full engagement of privileges. You endanger the peaceful state of our association by continuing to try to hold him against the will of the noble house Kuchiki!"

Soutaichou glared at him.

"It does not matter that he has provisional acceptance. Even were he born noble, no one defies the order of the king!" he said, his reiatsu flaring, "Now, you will turn Abarai Renji over to us, or you will die."

Tetsuya stepped back and placed himself between Byakuya and Renji, and Soutaichou. He held his weapon ready.

"I will not attack, Soutaichou," he said, bowing his head gracefully, "but if you attempt to bring harm to these two, I will defend them to the best of my ability."

There was a long moment of silence as the two sides stood, staring at each other. Then…a heartbeat later, the captain commander raised his weapon and pointed it at the four. There was a blinding flash and the four gasped, shielding themselves…and when it ended, Tetsuya Kuchiki sank slowly to his knees and fell at Byakuya's feet. The noble dropped to the ground next to his fallen cousin, his hands extending and flaring with healing power as the blood streamed out and onto him, his clothing, the cold, darkened ground beneath them. A flash step sounded and suddenly Renji was torn from Byakuya's side. Yoruichi stood over Byakuya and Tetsuya, her eyes blazing as they met the captain commander's.

"Leave them alone. You have what you came for and you have done enough damage."

Soutaichou stepped closer and Byakuya placed his body between the captain commander and his fallen cousin, his hand on his sword.

"Understand that you brought this pain upon all of us, Kuchiki Byakuya. I warned you what would happen if you acted against me."

He gazed at Byakuya for a moment longer, then the flash steps sounded again and the captain commander and secret mobile corps disappeared. Yoruichi dropped to her knees next to Byakuya, her own hands extending over Tetsuya, her power joining his as the silent struggle to save his life continued.

"I am sorry I got you involved in this," Byakuya whispered, "I am your leader and I am sworn to protect my clan. I failed to do that, Tetsuya. And I failed you as your cousin as well. Your blood should not have been spilled."

The other's dark blue eyes slowly opened and met his.

"Cousin…I am…proud…to have defended…my leader…and my family's honor."

Tears came to Byakuya's eyes

"Tetsuya…" Byakuya whispered, his voice breaking, "my cousin…"

"Byakuya, I'm going for Orihime…Get him to the fourth division, quickly. They may not be able to heal him, but they can keep him on life support until I return! Go! Hurry!"

Byakuya lifted the pale, limp body into his arms and flash stepped away.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji knelt on the floor of the first division, he head bowed and his mind still on Byakuya. He could smell the scent of blood on his clothes and skin and still saw flashes of the killing blow…the noble's slow fall, and the look of devastation on Byakuya's face. Byakuya had to be in agony now…and if Tetsuya died…

He sensed the approach of the captain commander and raised his eyes warily. The old man leaned on his walking stick and frowned down at Renji.

"It was useless for you to attempt escape, Abarai Renji," Soutaichou admonished him, "Your attempt was doomed to failure. There is no avoiding your fate. And because we can no longer be certain of holding you, you must be executed at dawn."

Renji was silent for a moment. Then his eyes lifted and met the captain commander's wearily.

"May I at least know the real reason why Soutaichou wishes me dead? I know you have not told me everything. I would know what is so important as to make my life worthless to you, Soutaichou. If I am to die…I will simply take that secret with me anyway. Will you tell me?"

The captain commander sighed deeply and moved forward. He rested a calm hand on the redhead's shoulder.

"You are dying because of secrets that must be kept, orders that must be carried out, a king's trust that must be honored. It should be a comfort to you to know that because you will die, the taichou you love will be spared…and the son you created together will grow up in safety and peace. Your death has meaning, Abarai Renji. It will protect the ones you love. It will be a swift and honorable passing."

"Soutaichou…I don't even remember the face of my own son. If I am to die…may I request the chance to see him, to hold him, to kiss him once before I die? Is that asking too much?"

Soutaichou's eyes closed in consideration.

"No…" he said quietly, "It is not asking too much, Abarai Renji. I will delay your execution until noon then. I will send for Byakuya and have your son brought."

"Arigato, Soutaichou," Renji said, numbness and resignation flooding his body.

The captain commander nodded.

"Move him to the first division cells and station a full compliment of guards. I do not want there to be any opportunity for him to escape again. Honor any final requests…and allow him visitors…but monitor them carefully."

"Hai, Soutaichou," the officer said, bowing.

He turned to Renji.

"Come, sir," he said quietly.

Renji rose silently and followed him out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya sat silently at Tetsuya's side, watching as he slowly weakened. He couldn't help but remember the awful nightmare. And the sad fact was that his cousin and others faced death if Renji was to be saved. Soutaichou would not give in. And if Byakuya persisted, he would kill all of the Kuchiki elders to protect the king's secrets.

He slipped a hand into Tetsuya's, wondering what could be the right thing to do. As much as he loved Renji, he couldn't drag his family down…couldn't lose them like this. His cousin's blood was on his hands and Byakuya knew he would feel the weight of that for a very long time. It might crush him, if Tetsuya died…

"Please don't die," he whispered, stroking the soft, pale hand, "We are strong. We can stand up to him. But I need to know you are still with me, my cousin…I need to know that I haven't lost you…Tetsuya…"

The fingers of the hand he held slowly moved and the dark, tired eyes opened. Byakuya smiled in relief and squeezed his cousin's hand gently.

"I'm sorry," Byakuya said softly, "sorry that my choices have led to this."

"To what?" asked Tetsuya softly, "I haven't left you, Cousin…and I promise you that I will hold on until the girl arrives as you promised. You must go before the council. You must plead with them to assist you. They will listen to you, Cousin. They will follow you. They will know that Soutaichou has infringed upon our royally bestowed rights and they will fight for you. Only ask them…"

"No…" said Byakuya softly, "This is a fight that was never meant to be fought by any but me. If I am to go to my death, fighting for this one I love, I will die with my honor intact…and in so doing, I must protect my house. I will face this on my own. And should I die, I have seen to my promise to bring an heir. I place responsibility for Beniko in your hands, Cousin. Should I die…raise him well…to honor our name.


	24. The Noble House Kuchiki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Tetsuya fights for his life, Byakuya is given distressing news regarding the former king.

"Byakuya-sama wait!" said Tetsuya, tightening his hand on his cousin's.

Byakuya looked down at him calmly.

"Cousin, do not do this! You alone cannot defeat Soutaichou. He is too strong. You must let us help you!"

"Peace, Cousin," Byakuya said softly, "You must remain calm and wait for healing. You are in no condition to do this."

He looked down at the blood that stained his shihakushou and a cold shiver passed through him. He turned to look out the window.

"Tetsuya, Soutaichou commands the armed forces, and you may be assured that he will have enough present at Renji's execution to engage the full power of the council. I will not take all of you down with me. I will not bring our house to ruin. I haven't the right."

Tetsuya lifted himself, wincing, then fell back, his slender body shaking.

"Try not to move," Byakuya cautioned him, "You must remain still or you could worsen your condition."

His cousin laughed, then descended into several deep, choking coughs. Byakuya's hand moved to his shoulder and his face was lined with concern.

"No more talk now, Cousin," he said, squeezing his shoulder lightly, "Orihime is here. I feel her approaching. Rest easy."

He fell back, moaning incoherently. Orihime and Yoruichi burst into the room.

"Here," Byakuya said, moving aside.

He watched as Orihime's oval of golden power rose over him. The injured noble's eyes closed and the golden glow around him intensified. Yoruichi placed a hand on Byakuya's arm and he followed her to a chair across the room.

"So…what happens now?" she asked, her eyes on Tetsuya, "Even with your fully armed council, it is doubtful that you can defeat Soutaichou. And it is not likely that the other clans will join you. The Kuchiki clan has long been the prize jewel in the king's crown. I know there are other clans who would like to see them reduced in power…not decimated, mind you, but weakened sufficiently so that another clan might rise to power."

"Agreed," he said, his eyes never leaving his cousin, "I want to keep the family out of this. They should not be endangering themselves in this way."

"It seems that your tendency towards rebellion is rubbing off!" chuckled Yoruichi.

"I rather think it's the fact that Soutaichou challenged our noble sovereignty…although, technically, Renji hasn't even met the full requirements for provisional acceptance. The council waived requirements because of Beniko. There was reasonable assurance that he would be accepted at some point…and it was an emergency. Still…if Soutaichou revokes our royal grant of privileges, it would be seen as an assault, not just on our clan, but on all who enjoy royal privilege. After all, what good is a privilege if it is not honored?"

"And what good are a person's rights if they are just going to be trampled?" Yoruichi sighed, "You know, you sound like you're about ready to leave Soul Society and take up a life in the living world with us! It sounds like you are weary of bucking the system."

"I am weary of those who do not honor the commitments we have with each other. The Gotei 13 is supposed to work as the fighting force that complements the noble lords, not the one that controls them. The military has overstepped in this matter."

"But, Byakuya," Yoruichi said quietly, "Even though Soutaichou may be wrong, he is still operating under the orders of the former king."

"And I have begun to wonder about the nature of those orders," Byakuya said softly.

Yoruichi's head turned sharply in surprise.

"What did you say?" she asked quickly.

"Think about it," he went on, "I am assuming that because you assisted in my recovery, you know more about what is happening here than Soutaichou realizes…am I correct?"

"Hai," Yoruichi said, nodding, "I know about your mission and what happened after. When Renji came to us for help while he was searching for you, he confided the facts in Kisuke…and Kisuke told me. Renji was disillusioned and angry…and he was being sought by the secret mobile corps. He only broke his silence about what was happening, because his situation was desperate."

"Understandable," Byakuya muttered, "In any case, the orders were issued by Soutaichou…and he had them straight from the former king. There was something in what Soutaichou said to me that made me curious."

"And that was?"

"He told me that the rebirth ritual was used in the time of his father…and that the first attempt failed, though he didn't tell me why. So another attempt was made and we must assume that it was successful. But Yoruichi…what if it was imperfectly done?"

"How do you mean?"

"What if…what if the procedure was not perfectly followed and the king born of it was affected?"

"In what way might the king have been affected, Byakuya?" Yoruichi asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"The Interim King provides rendered power to the new king and the King's Consort provides heart and conscience. If either of those is not provided in sufficient amounts, the king's reiatsu is lost. But what if in that second attempt, the amounts were somewhat imperfect…perhaps due to the quality of those chosen to complete the ritual? Soutaichou's father would have been facing a situation where the ideal pair chosen was lost and a somewhat lesser pair was chosen…still passable, but not as well matched. Perhaps they succeeded, but the king that was chosen was left with less heart, less conscience. That could have resulted in him being more self absorbed, more worried about preserving himself than caring for our worlds. The Spirit King has the responsibility of watching over our worlds…but he does so in a way that allows us to live our lives with a great amount of choice…without his interference, except where called upon by us when we are in need. I have read the histories through the reign of several kings…and it seems to me that the king who issued these orders to Soutaichou is the only one in our history to act preemptively to save himself. Other kings called on their Soutaichou and taichous for assistance. But they did not usurp the free will of others to provide for their own defense."

He sighed deeply and ran a hand over his face.

"Renji was chosen to accompany me because he was powerful, protective of me and because he secretly loved me. What if when the last king was made, the love between the one chosen as consort and the one chosen as Interim King was not so well balanced. Love is never a constant…but in this process, it forms the basis for the development of the king's soul. So the king born of this lesser coupling might have been a lesser king. I believe that the natural coupling of a king and his wife or life partner keeps the quality of the king more stable from ruler to ruler, while each time a rebirth becomes necessary, there is a shift in the balance of power, heart and conscience in the king."

"It could explain the last king's choice to give Soutaichou the extreme orders that he did," Yoruichi said, nodding.

"Well, whatever the reasons, the causes…it's all beside the point. I am not going to simply stand by and allow Renji to be killed. While I still have free choice, I will use it to save his life."

Yoruichi placed a hand on his arm.

"And you will not be alone. I am going to return to the living world to bring back Ichigo and his friends. They will want to help Renji as well. Byakuya…you won't be alone in protecting Renji. We will be there too."

She glanced back at Tetsuya, who was sleeping more peacefully beneath the golden light of Orihime's power.

"Besides…if I read your cousin right, I would say that you are going to have the support of your council as well, whether you wish it or not. As much as you have a right to your free choice in acting, so do they."

"That is what I am afraid of. I fear this will end in great amounts of bloodshed. And I know Renji wouldn't want to be saved if he knew that the cost was to be the lives of so many."

Yoruichi narrowed her eyes.

"Byakuya, I am going to give you some advice. You may act on it or not, as you will, but think about it. The king who issued those orders, sought to control something that was really beyond control…see now that you do not do the same, even as you try to do the right thing. Your friends want to rally around you…and you think that you are responsible for stopping them. You are not. Let them choose for themselves as they will…and feel blessed that their love for Renji and for you is enough to bring them to your side and to take this risk. Yes, you and Renji made each of your friends and family members love you enough to die for you, but only they will decide when to invoke that right. You can protect them as you will…but you will not and should not stop them from honoring the call of their hearts."

Byakuya took a long breath and released it slowly.

"I understand," he said, gazing down at his cousin, "but you must understand. My heart has only recently been healed from the last time it was shattered. If it is broken again…and especially if Renji is lost, I do not think it will survive."

Yoruichi smiled sadly, took his face in her hands and kissed him on the cheek.

"Then we must act together to see that we all come through this."

They turned together as a messenger burst into the room and knelt before Byakuya.

"Sir, I bear a message from Soutaichou. Abarai Renji has made as his last request that you and your son are to meet with him in the first division. His execution has been scheduled for noon today."

Byakuya stood silently for a moment, letting the weight of the words sink in, then he nodded.

"Inform Abarai Renji that I shall bring Beniko and meet with him immediately."

"Hai," the messenger said, then flash stepped away.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji sat in his cell, staring out the barred window, still feeling the gentle motion of Byakuya's lips against his. There was, he thought, such a difference in his taichou, a loosening of his control, a deepening of the connection between him…and it seemed that when he thought of Byakuya, he was remembering bits and pieces. He wondered if the feelings between them had anything to do with it. He knew that his own feelings were very strong…and even though he couldn't remember what had happened, what he saw in Byakuya's behavior told him that the noble loved him deeply as well. But there was so much sadness in Byakuya…a weight he was carrying that he hadn't had on his heart before…whatever…had happened. He found it sad that the finding of their love had resulted in that pain…and he found himself wondering if it was worth the cost…or if it was possible…if he would go back and be more accepting of how Byakuya was before…not daring to wish for this…this gift that brought such beauty, but also such pain.

And maybe…if he hadn't wished that day for Byakuya to open up, to show more, they might still be sitting there in the sixth division, working side-by-side and not realizing that they were in love. Even undefined, it had had its own beauty. It had also been painful in some ways, but it had been a kind of love…and this way, everything was coming to ruin. It wasn't just that he was going to die, it was what his death was going to do to the already tormented noble he so loved. Whatever Byakuya had already been through had carried him to the brink. And Renji hated that he might be the one to push him over. He hated thinking of Byakuya being in pain. But there was no escaping his fate.

He was going to die…

He would take the same steps that Rukia had taken…and be lifted up onto the stand…and the great firebird would be released to sweep across the barren ground, to sink itself into his heart and burn it into ash…and even the ashes that fell to the ground would love Byakuya…Even the ash that fell would feel his pain…the burning away of what was left of him. Even those ashes would cry, seeing Byakuya's heart break again.

"Renji…"

He turned away from the window and took in the sight of Byakuya, dressed as the taichou he remembered, holding the son he could not remember and forcing calm into his features to hide the unbearable pain. He stood and walked to them, pausing to lean over the boy and to kiss Byakuya gently on the mouth. It was strange, seeing Byakuya in those clothes and kissing him that way. But somehow, even in its strangeness, it also felt like going home…like being part of a family…like having for this moment everything he would miss by dying too soon.

"Thank you for being here, for bringing Beniko," he said softly.

Byakuya nodded silently and set the infant in Renji's arms. Renji lifted the child up above him and stared into the wide gray eyes, the fine, noble features, the lovely soft skin and the light tracings of tattoos.

"He's beautiful, Byakuya…the best of both of us. I don't remember how it happened, how he was born, but I don't have to remember to know it was a miracle."

He pulled the boy in close, breathing in his sweetness.

"He smells of sakura and fire…appropriate, don't you think?" Renji whispered.

The tiny hands reached out to touch his lips and Renji planted light kisses on them, making the gray eyes widen and shine…the way Byakuya's had when he said that he loved Renji. And he knew his son was saying the same thing…expressing his love…in all the ways he could. He smiled and cooed softly, reaching out to capture a strand of red hair, to bring it closer, to cough and blink as it touched his lips and nose.

Renji was so absorbed that he missed when Byakuya turned away, when a calm hand rose to his face. But he couldn't help but hear a soft sob, a sound so gentle and filled with such longing that it brought Renji to his side in an instant. He nuzzled into Byakuya's arms and felt the soft, sakura scented hair fall against him, felt the slender frame tremble, felt the long, shaky sigh.

"You're going to be all right," Renji said softly, "You have to be, because this beautiful little boy will need you…just like I needed you…just like I need you now. But I don't need you to fight for me. I need you to live. Without you, our son will grow up without parents…like we both did. I don't want that for him. I want him to have it better than we did. So I need you to take care of yourself, to take care of him. Taichou…Byakuya…I need you not to try to save me. I know you want to. I know you're planning to try. But you and I both know what will happen. And I don't want that."

The gray eyes that had once been so cold and emotionless met his…and Renji read the truth in them…even before Byakuya forced out the words.

"I know what you are asking and I know that if our roles were reversed, I would ask you for the same. But my heart is not so strong as yours. It was already broken and you are all that is left holding it together. My heart will break and bleed out if I lose you…so the way is set before me…And now, to fight for your life…is to fight for my own. Please, Renji, do not ask me to stand by and let our lives end without a fight. Honor me with your blessing to take on this battle as we have every other…side-by-side."

Renji stood in silence for a moment, holding their son in his arms and surrounded by the warmth and scent and power that was Byakuya. And he did the only thing he could think of to do. He held Byakuya close and captured his lips in a long, sensuous kiss…then he said the words that rose up from his heart.

"Byakuya, I want you to marry me."


	25. Returning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji are allowed to marry before Renji's execution.

Byakuya knelt, pale faced and silent, waiting…

He waited as the breeze blew in the open window and fluttered through his hair, as the leaves hissed softly across the ground outside, as a chill came into the air and as the solemn footsteps approached. He listened to the shuffling step, a low, soft cough and felt the slight burn of that man's reiatsu against his skin. Everything hung on this moment, on the words he had prepared, on the plans he had made…everything…

Soutaichou stepped solemnly into the room and stopped in front of the noble, studying the formal kimono he wore, the too pale features, the haunted gaze. He wondered if he was truly saving anyone by sparing Byakuya's life. For all intents and purposes, the noble was dying. The loss of his heart was taking a toll far greater than Soutaichou had imagined.

"I was told you wished to see me," he said quietly.

"Yes," Byakuya replied, raising his eyes, "Renji and I wish to be married before his execution. I have come to ask that you allow us to be married at Kuchiki Manor, in the traditional manner of my family…and that Renji be granted an extension of time suitable that we might be together for one night before his execution. Soutaichou may, of course set any requirements of supervision he deems necessary to assure himself that we will not deviate from what has been granted us."

Soutaichou closed his eyes and released a slow breath. He opened them again and let them fall on the dutifully positioned body, the carefully controlled demeanor and the slight waver in his reiatsu that hinted at the slow self-destruction taking place inside.

"Kuchiki Byakuya, I have known you since you were brought into this world, and I have known each of your forebears for several generations. I am clear on what I see when I look at you, and I know better than to offer the desperation that builds inside you an opportunity to be brought forth as an act of rebellion."

He moved forward and slipped a hand under the noble's chin, raising the calm, dark eyes…and the light sank down into them, and it told him that there was nothing this man would not do to save the one who was slated to die…even unto his own death.

"But even though I must deny your request, I will offer you this as compensation…you may be married here, under the supervision of the secret mobile corps and I will see that you are sealed into a private, guarded room until sunset. I hope you will understand why this is necessary. I see that this will not end until Abarai has taken his last breath…and I see that, one way or another, his last breath will be taken alongside your own. I grieve that this is so, but I see the inevitability written in your eyes. You must have recovered fully, because I see in you again the taichou who I know and respect…who I know and have faith in…who I know and love. Go and see to your handfasting. Time grows short…and it would be a sorry thing indeed to see it wasted."

He released Byakuya's chin and watched the weight of his words settle over the calm, quiet features. He turned away and started out the door. He paused as he reached it and looked back at the solemn figure who remained kneeling on the floor.

"I know that you will force me into a position where I must take your life, Byakuya…and I will carry out my duty just as you will carry out yours, but I do not take joy or pride in the spilling of your blood…or in the taking of this one who means so much to you. We are all acting as we must. Remember that as death closes in around you."

XXXXXXXXXX

The midday sun shined brightly and a gentle breeze passed through the large first division gathering room. Byakuya and Renji stood side-by-side, dressed in formal kimonos and with their sheathed zanpakutou carried by young attendants and waiting for their part in the traditional exchange that was a hallmark of Kuchiki family weddings. A pale, but somewhat recovered Tetsuya stood before them to officiate the ceremony and the full compliment of the Kuchiki Council of Elders sat in attendance.

Renji's eye strayed to the numerous others who had joined them and felt a swell of warmth pass through him. His mind acknowledged each…Rukia, Ichigo, Uryuu, Chad, Orihime, Yoruichi, Kisuke, Tessai, Jinta, Ururu, Rikichi, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Rangiku…and the list went on and on…so many people. And how word had reached them so quickly, how permissions had been granted, even for Kisuke…all of it came back to the silent, dark haired taichou who stood waiting to marry him.

"Byakuya," he breathed, "this is amazing. Arigato…I can't believe this is happening."

The noble said nothing, but the small half-smile and slight nod he gave Renji spoke volumes. Tetsuya cleared his throat softly and the two looked up at him. The room went silent, except for the breath of wind that passed through the room and the sounds of birds coming in through the open doors.

The room remained silent as Tetsuya's soft voice rose up, giving a short introduction, then moving on to a reading of the names and lineage of the clan leaders up to Byakuya.

"And today," Tetsuya added afterward, "the council is pleased to enter Kuchiki Beniko, the son of Abarai Renji and Kuchiki Byakuya as heir to Kuchiki Byakuya's holdings and as heir to the leadership of the Kuchiki clan."

He paused, smiling briefly at his cousin.

"We are assembled in this place as witnesses to the fact that love moves in way that defy understanding, that it flows in patterns of its own making, that none can predict its turns and falls, and that nothing can stop it when it acts upon two hearts to bring them together. The love we honor today is not futile. Although it is entered under a cloud of uncertainty, the ones who stand before us choose willingly to believe that love is enough to see them through…and even as threats to it darken the air around it, their love brightens all it touches…and never loses faith…never lets hope fade.

"Abarai Renji and Kuchiki Byakuya, having indicated your will to be bound into this union, I invite you to offer a statement of that intent."

Renji turned and slipped his hands into Byakuya's, meeting his eyes and smiling warmly.

"When I was told that my recent memories had been taken, I looked into your eyes and I wanted to die, because I was convinced that what had been taken were the days that led us to fall in love. And I thought it was horrible…and I thought it was tragic…that I could have taken from me, the days that brought us together…that made us fall in love. But I couldn't have been more wrong. Because, what happened between us didn't just happen recently. It's been happening slowly over time…starting from the first moment we laid eyes on each other. And every step taken has been a step forward…and I need never look back to know what is between us. I feel it inside, in a place that can't be touched…in a memory that can't be taken…in a heart that belongs only to you. I offer that heart now to you and I look forward to taking our next steps together. Kuchiki Byakuya, aishiteru yo."

Byakuya gazed at him in silence, letting the silence deepen as he blinked slowly and drew a trembling breath.

"I believe that you are right when you say that love is not something that happened recently…that it has happened over time…and that it began when we first laid eyes on each other. I believe it because even before we knew that what we were feeling was love, we lived every moment passionately, even when our passions resulted in the crossing of our swords. We have drawn each other's blood in fury…and we have sought in desperation to stop its outpouring. But always where our blood flows, it burns with the passion that forever keeps us circling each other, testing each other's defenses. It is time to close the distance and let blood and fire fall where they will, but to experience in full awareness, the love that binds us. Abarai Renji, aishiteru yo."

"Byakuya and Renji, your words of love exchanged, your intent to wed made known, now enter the vows and bonds of marriage we have gathered to witness. Do you, Abarai Renji, take Kuchiki Byakuya to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward? For richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, will you love, honor and cherish him for all of the days of your lives?"

"I will," breathed Renji.

"And do you, Kuchiki Byakuya, take Abarai Renji to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward? For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, will you love, honor and cherish him for all the days of your lives?"

"I will," answered Byakuya.

Renji took a gold wedding band from his attendant and slipped it onto Byakuya's finger, repeating Tetsuya's words as he was prompted. Byakuya turned and took Renji's wedding band from his attendant and slipped it onto the redhead's finger, repeating the same. They stepped forward and each took a taper and brought them together to light the larger candle that symbolized their joining. They returned to Tetsuya and each turned to his attendant, retrieving his zanpakutou. Byakuya drew his blade and brought it to Renji's extended palm, touching its edge to the offered flesh and drawing a single drop of blood. Renji lifted Zabimaru and brought it to the pale skin of Byakuya's palm, pausing uncertainly and meeting the noble's dark eyes. Byakuya allowed a small tight smile to reach his lips, but held his extended hand perfectly still. Renji touched the edge of his blade to Byakuya's extended hand and watched as the small drop of blood appeared. Tetsuya took their hands and lightly bound them together at the wrist with the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu, then placed his palm over their bound wrists and invoked the clan's rite of handfasting.

"Byakuya and Renji, in the name of our forefathers and with the blessing of the Council of Elders, I declare you handfasted, blood-bound, partners in life and bonded in love for all of the rest of your days. Now exchange a kiss as token of the vows you have taken."

Byakuya leaned forward and met Renji for a wonderfully slow, sweet kiss. As their lips separated, a gust of wind blew across the room and the flame they had lit together suddenly died. Byakuya's hands tightened on the redhead's arms and a small gasp escaped him. All eyes fixed on the sight of the extinguished candle and the tiny plume of black smoke that rose into the air above it.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji quietly followed his attending guard to the small room where he undressed and slipped into a silken white yukata. The guard then led him to a large, comfortable looking bedroom, waited for him to enter, and then sealed the door behind him.

Byakuya was dressed as he was and knelt silently, waiting on a mat in the middle of the room. Renji approached him in silence, as was customary and settled on his knees facing the noble. The dark eyes lifted and met his. Renji took in the lovely sight of his pale, porcelain skin, his softly heaving breast and the unrestrained black, silken hair that fell down over his shoulders and partially concealed the left side of his face. He brought a palm to Byakuya's face and leaned forward, meeting him for a light, tentative kiss, then rejoining for a slower, deeper and more sensuous exchange. The noble's hands curled around his arms and Renji's arms wrapped around the slender, warm body, pulling him closer.

He sank into the hot, sweet depths of his life partner's waiting mouth, entranced by the smoky, half-closed eyes and dreamy expression. He could feel the soft racing of Byakuya's heart beneath his fingers and the quickening of the soft breath that touched his skin. His tongue moved slowly along the length of his lover's, curling around and savoring the taste of him, then sank in deeper, touching and exploring the surfaces, sweeping back again to recapture that other warm tongue, teasing it into motion again. He pulled his mouth away and they inhaled together, settling back for a moment of anticipatory heat, before Renji climbed to his feet and brought the noble up with him. They started toward the bed and as Byakuya reached it, Renji's arms wrapped around him from behind to hold him back for a moment.

Renji felt the sudden tension of the warm body in his embrace, the catching of breath, and the uncertain tremor that ran through him. He pulled away and Byakuya turned and locked eyes with him. Renji started to speak, started to ask why there was fear in those beautiful eyes, but a pale hand stopped the words at his lips and a soft mouth returned to his to kiss them away.

Whatever it was, then, he didn't want to talk about it…

A tanned hand slipped down between them and released their ties. They shrugged off the soft white cloth, baring their flesh and laying it warmly against each other, then the noble's body went slack in Renji's arms and they moved into a long, slow fall onto the soft bed. They met for a flurry of kisses, turning until Renji rested on his back, with Byakuya's body stretched along the length of his. Soft hair and skin teased him shamelessly, and a pair of dark, wanting eyes met his, then closed as Byakuya's mouth found and explored his throat, then began a long, slow exploration of his body. Renji found that he couldn't hold still as the soft hands pleasured him and that beautiful, sinful mouth tasted and explored him, leaving him breathless and dizzy. Lips and tongue traced the edges of his tattoos and soft, probing fingers followed the curves of his chest, stopping to linger over one raised nipple, then the other. The noble crawled slowly down the length of him, leaving nothing untouched, not an inch of him neglected. He held onto his composure until a probing tongue dipped into his navel, then lifted out and traveled down in a long, languid lick that ended at the tip of his very aroused member. Byakuya's tongue brushed the tip as it lifted, sending a shiver through Renji and drawing a delighted gasp as Byakuya repositioned slightly and curled a hand around his sac, lowering his mouth to join his fingers, stroking and teasing, until Renji couldn't bite back a deep, hungry moan and fluid leaked furiously from the tip of his aching arousal. Byakuya laughed softly against his skin, then lifted himself slightly and wrapped his mouth around his life partner's thickened erection, sinking down and rising again, sucking warmly and teasing him with a devilishly busy tongue.

Pale fingers invaded his mouth and he sucked at them and bathed each in saliva, then tried to hold in a delighted gasp as they slid down his body and one pushed slowly inside him. He looked down and nearly melted at the beautiful sight of Byakuya, eyes closed and face bathed in an expression of deep pleasure, mouth sliding up and down his length, everything forgotten but the enjoyment of their coupling. He winced slightly as a second finger joined the first, but found himself instantly distracted by the scraping of teeth against sensitive skin and a deepening of suction that threatened to undo him then and there. That hungry mouth sank down on him one more time, sucking hard as a third finger pushed inside him. He arched his back, moaning loudly and emptying himself into the noble's waiting mouth, watching as Byakuya drew back, swallowing again and again, then released him and slowly licked away the last stray bits of fluid.

He returned to Renji's mouth, and Renji couldn't help moaning with renewed pleasure at the mixture of their tastes, at the blending of their scents, at the thought of what was about to happen. With his mouth still fastened on the redhead's, Byakuya parted his thighs and slowly pushed into him. As much as he had been prepared, Byakuya was well endowed and very aroused, so he worked his way in slowly, then waited as Renji's body adjusted.

They rested against each other like that for a time, joined but unmoving, and Byakuya's hand slid down and wrapped around him, stroking and teasing him, until Renji found himself getting aroused again. His body finally gave in and relaxed and Byakuya began to move in and out of him, nipping and sucking at his throat, then moaning and panting as his movements quickened and his heart raced softly against Renji's skin. Renji's hands slid down the noble's back and curved around the slim, lithe hips, encouraging their motion as Byakuya's upper body lifted away and his breathing grew ragged and uneven. His arms trembled softly and his head lowered, sending long strands of black hair down to tickle the skin of Renji's chest and upper arms.

Renji could see he was close and deeply distracted. Smiling wickedly, he turned and overthrew his lover, rolling Byakuya onto his back and freeing his own body to move without restraint. He placed his open palms on the surprised noble's sweat dampened chest, enjoying the fast rise and fall of his breathing as he threw his head back and made his hips dance against the noble's. Byakuya's eyes widened and darkened deliciously, his lips parted in gasps of delight and his hips bucked upward, meeting Renji's as they sank down and writhed against him.

Finally, the pale hands reached up and gripped his where they rested on the noble's chest, and Byakuya thrust upward, his body shaking madly and hot seed bursting out of him, into his lover's core. He sank back onto the pillows, breathing heavily and still trembling softly as Renji pulled free of him for a moment, then curled into his arms. He bathed the lovely white skin of face and throat in soft, pleasant kisses, then returned to his mouth to indulge in the warmth and sweetness again as their heartbeats slowed and they dozed lightly in each other's arms…highly aware of the passage of time and loathe to let themselves fall asleep.

Renji lay quietly letting his finger's play over Byakuya's face, the heat of their joining slowly working its way deeper into his body. He felt odd and light-headed and rested his face on a muscular shoulder, a feeling of shock passing through him as he realized…

"Kami, Byakuya!" he hissed softly, "I think I'm really starting to remember!"

Byakuya gazed at him in disbelief.

"But…they…"

"Well, yours didn't work," he reasoned, "And even though mine did…I've been having flashes of memory, snapshots…"

"But it worked on everyone else," Byakuya said, furrowing his brow, "Why would we be any different? Could it be that something changed when we…helped to birth the new king? But the former king was the one who ordered Soutaichou to take our memories. It doesn't make sense…unless our contact with the new king changed that somehow…I don't know…but, how much do you remember?"

"I remember that the king was killed…and being sealed in the garden. Byakuya…it's all coming back! Damn! I'm sorry, Byakuya…I'm sorry I ever let them make me think for a minute…"

"Stop…don't waste time thinking about it. Renji…we only have a short time. Let's put all the rest aside and just focus on each other. It is a relief that you remember…I don't feel so alone in what happened…but the minutes are passing quickly…and our time is running out. And before the end comes, I want to share a lifetime of being together like this…Just…hold me, Renji. I feel the darkness coming back again…and I don't want to be alone in it."

"You won't be…because I have a feeling that things are not going to happen as anyone expects them to. Byakuya…because I remember now…"

_Call on it only when you feel all is lost and you will have my assistance._

"I remember now…and that means that when the time is right, we can call on him together as he intended."

"And you think you know when that moment should be?" asked Byakuya.

"Yeah…I think I do."


	26. Sakura and Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya races to halt Renji's execution.

Byakuya's hands tightened on Renji as the sun began to sink on the horizon and they heard footsteps approach and felt the rending of the seal. They stood, side-by-side, their arms wrapped around each other as the guards approached. The guards bowed respectfully.

"Abarai fukutaichou, Kuchiki taichou, it is time. Regretfully, we must prepare Abarai Renji for his execution."

They waited patiently as Renji bent slightly to kiss Byakuya and gently extracted himself from the noble's trembling arms. As he released Byakuya, he whispered into his ear.

"Don't forget…"

Not quite trusting his voice, Byakuya answered him with a short nod. He watched in silence as the guards led Renji from the room, then stood for a moment with his arms wrapped around his suddenly chilled body. He felt achingly empty again and he remembered lying in bed in the king's palace after losing the king's reiatsu. His heart began to race and a dizzying numbness passed over him, but he breathed in and out slowly and started for the door.

Inexplicably, it closed in front of him…and he felt the setting in place of a seal. And as he stood in shock, wondering how and why, Soutaichou's solemn form appeared in front of him.

"My apologies, Kuchiki Byakuya, but I had to be certain that you would not attempt to interfere with the execution. The doors will open as the Soukyoku begins its release…and you will be able to reach Abarai Renji in time to lay eyes upon each other as he dies."

The captain commander's body slowly faded and disappeared.

Byakuya stood, wide-eyed and disbelieving. His body stopped trembling with fear and began to shake with a deep, burning rage. His reiatsu rose around him until the building shook and the furniture around him toppled.

"Soutaichou!" he cried furiously, "Let me out of here! SOUTAICHOU!"

He gathered his power and sent kido strikes at the doors and windows, pounding them mercilessly with every ounce of spirit energy he could pour into them. He screamed his defiance until his body shook so hard he could barely stand and finally beat his hands against the doors until the skin grew raw and red, and began to bleed, leaving crimson splashes where he struck the door with them. The rage expanded inside him until all of his carefully placed controls fell away and the power exploded out of him in all directions, shattering the room into dust and bursting through the seal. The power tore at his senses, nearly overwhelming him and leaving a burning feeling on his scorched skin.

He rose into the air, heedless of the guards' calls to stop, bent on reaching Renji's side.

But would he be in time?

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji stood quietly as his clothing was removed and he was left in a simple white yukata. His hands were carefully bound for the final time and he was led out of the first division. It was the end of a beautiful day. His heart brightened at the memory of making love with Byakuya and with the knowledge that all was not lost. He and Byakuya would be together at the end…and they would call upon the king to assist them. The hard part, he thought, was the waiting. Because they had been specifically told to wait until their situation seemed hopeless…and that time hadn't come. So all he could do was move quietly along with the guards and walk toward the Sokyoku. He looked straight ahead, barely seeing that the streets were lined with shinigami, and many were calling out to him in support. Renji felt warmth move through him at the sound. It was comforting to know that he and Byakuya weren't the only ones who felt that his execution was a horrid mistake.

He noticed suddenly that the guards had come to a stop and loud voices rose up ahead of them..

"You can't fucking do this! Abarai fukutaichou doesn't deserve to die just because he wanted to help our taichou! We AREN'T moving, so go the hell around…if you can!"

"Yeah…if you can!" shouted another.

A chorus of yells rose up around them and Renji felt a chill pass through him. And suddenly, the guards were yelling too…and pushing back against him until Renji fell beneath them and enraged hands were tearing at them.

"Stop!" he screamed, "Stop!"

He tore free and somehow managed to rise. The guards were on the ground and their swords had been torn from their hands. Angry fists rained down on them, threatening to become deadly.

"Stop it!" Renji screamed.

Someone loosed his hands and he dove onto the ones who were attacking the guards.

"STOP IT! STOP! STOP! PLEASE STOP BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEONE! I'M NOT FUCKING WORTH THIS!"

He realized all at once that the area had fallen silent around him. The Squad Six shinigamis involved in the attack had frozen and were staring at him in surprise.

"But…Abarai fukutaichou! They are going to kill you!" said one shinigami, holding a hand to his bloody nose, "We can't let them…"

Renji spotted the captain commander standing quietly off to the side of them.

"It isn't the guards who are doing this. It's all a mistake…but you can't let that turn all of you into a bunch of animals. Ours is a proud division…Do the right thing…Walk with me…"

There was a long silence.

Renji turned and picked up a discarded sword and handed it to the guard who was climbing to his feet. He stood calmly as the guards recovered themselves and formed a circle around him. Renji stared in surprise as they started to move forward.

"Aren't you going to bind me?" he asked quietly.

"No, sir," said the guard softly, "No matter what anyone says, it isn't necessary."

They continued on their way, surrounded by a now-silent group of Squad Six shinigamis, past the Squad Six headquarters, up the street and to the beginning of the trail to Sokyoku Hill. Renji scanned the crowd and saw several familiar faces, but no sign of Byakuya. He furrowed his brow worriedly, but continued walking. They made their way slowly up the large incline, past the repentance center and over the narrow bridge onto Sokyoku Hill. Now, Renji began to feel a touch of panic. He searched the crowd carefully, but although the Kuchiki council appeared to be in full attendance, Byakuya was nowhere in sight. Renji was led past the crowd to where the taichous were lined up and watching. Renji blinked in disbelief, realizing that Byakuya was not among them.

"Wait," he said to the guards, "please, something is wrong!"

"I am sorry," said the leader of the guards, "but we cannot defy Soutaichou's order and he said that once we arrived, that the execution must not be delayed. Please forgive us, Abarai fukutaichou. We must follow the orders we were given."

Renji turned and saw Soutaichou staring in his direction. Fury rose up in his heart and overflowed and he pushed the guards aside and stood face to face with the captain commander, his hands balled into fists.

"Where is Byakuya? What did you do to him?" he asked, his voice breaking, "Isn't it enough that you're tearing us apart? You can't even let him be here with me? What are you afraid of, old man? Are you afraid we're too strong to be broken apart by the likes of you? Well, I'll tell you something…WE ARE! So you go right ahead! You lift me up on that fucking stand and you watch it shatter! Because ours is a love that you can't break…not with a million zanpakutou…and not with any stupid orders! Go ahead…Soutaichou…go ahead and try to kill me!"

The crowd had gone silent around them. Renji stared into the captain commander's stern gaze and waited. The rest of the taichous stood quietly waiting and the guards around Renji stood stock-still. For a moment, no one moved. Then Tetsuya Kuchiki stepped forward.

"Soutaichou…do you know where my cousin is?" he asked calmly.

The old man nodded.

"He will be released in time to witness Abarai fukutaichou's death. Do not worry. No harm has come to Kuchiki taichou. He is merely being detained until the proper time."

"The proper time?" Renji said angrily, "When is that? When the damned Soukyoku cuts into my body? When the fire is already eating my flesh away? How long will it be before you feel it is safe for you to let him near me! Do you want me already gone and burned into nothing? You old bastard! We honored your rules! We accepted that this was going to happen! We exchanged our vows and said our good byes, but that wasn't good enough for you. You had to make it hurt more, make the wounds deeper. Damn you! He was barely holding himself together, but he did everything right! You! You can't do a damned thing right! I don't think you have a fucking CLUE what RIGHT is! But you are about to find out. What's right is about to come out…and when it does, it will bring your damned Soukyoku down around your ears!"

He stood, breathing deep and fast, his body still alive with rage. And still, he did not resist when Soutaichou silently nodded to the guards and they approached Renji again.

"Sir…I am sorry…we must go to the Soukyoku."

Renji glared at the captain commander for a moment longer, then turned toward the Soukyoku. They closed the distance and Renji felt his heart flutter nervously in his chest. It would take both of them to invoke the call for the final piece of the Spirit King's gift, and Byakuya had still not appeared. And Renji wasn't inclined to trust the captain commander's perception of what time Byakuya should arrive…but he was out of time. The guards stepped back, and Renji reached the stand and turned to face the captain commander and the solemn faces of the group of taichous.

"Abarai Renji," said Soutaichou sternly, you have been found guilty of disturbing the peace, of interfering with an official investigation, with the abduction and captivity of a senior officer with a special circumstance for that you abducted a taichou ranked shinigami. You defied orders and fled justice. For these crimes, you have been sentenced to death by Soukyoku. Do you have any last words to say?"

Renji glared back at the captain commander with fierce pride and defiance in his fiery brown eyes.

"You bet I do!"

"Then speak them…" Soutaichou said, nodding.

"I want everyone here to know the real reason why I have been given the honor of dying. Yes, Soutaichou, you tried to steal it from my mind, but let me tell you something…I'm stronger than you gave me credit for being…and I think the people gathered here need to know the real reason you want to kill me."

"Stop right there, Abarai Renji!" the captain commander said, his zanpakutou rising and flaring hotly, "One more word and I will burn your body to the ground where you stand."

"So that's the freedom I'm given to speak here at the end of my days, huh? I thought that even a dying man had the right to speak his mind."

Soutaichou's eyes suddenly flashed with power and Renji felt a strange wrenching that sent him tumbling to the ground.

"What the hell?" he yelled, rolling to his feet, "What was that?"

He noticed belatedly how quiet his surroundings had gotten and realized that Soutaichou and the other taichous were the only ones left standing by the Soukyoku. His eyes widened in surprise.

"What did you do, Soutaichou?" he asked, his shoulders slumping in defeat, "What happened to everyone?"

The captain commander slipped his zanpakutou back into the sheath at his waist.

"We have shifted to a different dimension. It was necessary to protect the secrets that you are aware are not meant to be spoken aloud. It is far too dangerous. Our enemies are powerful and they could use the information against our king."

Renji felt an odd sensation. There was something unsettling about looking into Soutaichou's eyes. He had always been somewhat nervous in the man's presence, but the way Soutaichou was looking at him…the oddity in those old eyes!

Something doesn't feel right…

"Abarai Renji, do not be concerned," the old shinigami said off handedly, "Kuchiki Byakuya will arrive here in time to lock eyes with you and to let you know he is with you as you die. Now…it is time to continue the execution. Do you have a final request?"

"Yes, Soutaichou!" Renji said firmly, "I want my life partner here with me now. I want Byakuya!"

"And I have given you reassurances that Byakuya will be here with you when you die. I will offer this one last time. Do you have a final request?"

"Hai," he said softly, "I want the Council of Elders present to ensure a humane passing."

"As you wish," said Soutaichou, lowering his eyes.

Renji felt another wrenching motion and suddenly the twelve Kuchiki nobles stood near the line of taichous, looking around in surprise.

"Now…prepare…"

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya flash stepped toward the Sokyoku at speeds he knew he had never reached before. The loosing of the controls on his spiritual pressure gave him the ability to move at incredible speed…and he had only loosed himself this way one time before…the day of Rukia's execution…and it was for a shorter duration…because Kuchiki Byakuya knew that by releasing the power within his body from the careful grip of his control, he was, for a short duration of time, capable of reaching blinding speeds, attacking with incredible power…power that would shatter the one trying to take Renji from him…hopefully before the burn of his own raging power…

Consumed him…

For that was the tradeoff…

Immense speed…

Unstoppable power…

Power enough to stop Soutaichou…

Power enough to block the Soukyoku…

But at the expense of his own body…because even though he had the power at his fingertips, Kuchiki Byakuya's own power was enough to destroy him…if not controlled in the way it usually was. But this was not the time for control…or restraint. His time had run out…and Renji's life was on the line…

He ignored the burning of his flesh, and the pain in his bones…and Kuchiki Byakuya ran…faster than he had ever moved before. He reached the Soukyoku and pulled back on the power, fighting his own reiatsu, struggling to regain control. His heart was in his throat, his flesh screamed in pain, but he only paused long enough to notice that, although the Soukyoku was surrounded by shinigami, Abarai Renji was not there.

"I cannot be too late!" his strained mind howled, "I'm not too late?"

His breath froze in his lungs and he struggled to inhale.

"Sir?" said a soft, trembling voice.

Byakuya forced his eyes to lift.

"R-rikichi? Rikichi…wh-where is…Renji?" he gasped, choking on the words.

Rikichi stared in dismay at the slender body dressed only in a light yukata, the bare feet, wild eyes and tumbled hair, the frightening, haunted expression…the torn and burned skin, the hungry licking of his reiatsu as it danced around him, threatening to break loose again. It took everything in him to look that terrifying creature in the eyes and give an answer.

"S-soutaichou opened…a dimension door."

Byakuya's heart sank. He had already used so much power! But to open a dimension door…to hone in on Renji's life force and to be certain of reaching it…

"Step back…Rikichi," he said, reaching down inside himself again.

The young shinigami practically fell over himself, backing away.

The spirit energy seethed furiously beneath the noble's skin. Already feeling his body beginning to break under the force of it, Kuchiki Byakuya centered on Renji's life force and once again, set his power loose. Pink light exploded around him, throwing everyone nearby to the ground and raking their bodies with errant energy. When the energy slowly faded and died away, Rikichi looked up and gasped softly.

Kuchiki Byakuya was gone, leaving only scorched ground where he had been.


	27. The Final Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya yields everything to save Renji.

_Byakuya…Byakuya…Where are you?_

Renji gazed solemnly back at Soutaichou and the assembled taichous as his hands were suddenly forced to stretch out and away from his body…as he was slowly lifted into the air and brought to the top of the stand.

It was strange to be up there, where he could see the entire expanse of the Seireitei…and all of the way out into the Rukongai that had been his early home. To know that he had come so far, through so much, that he had known friends like Rukia, like Ichigo and the others…and that he, of all people, had been the one to turn the head of the most beautiful taichou…no, the most beautiful shingami in all of Soul Society…Renji had to admit, that even if Soutaichou's move against them was successful, even if Byakuya couldn't reach him in time…even if it all ended here…Abarai Renji had enjoyed one hell of a beautiful life.

He had known friendship so strong that it had carried him through years of having nothing, years so empty of necessities, that it seemed the scent of street dust never left his skin. He had known camaraderie that helped him to rise above his weakness, to grow in mind, body and heart until he was stronger than he had ever believed he could be. He had known extremes of passion that led him to desire above all things…to surpass a being of impossible power…of incredible beauty…of passion as deep as his own. But when all was said and done, the meeting of their passions had exploded into something so wonderful, so awe-inspiring, so soul encompassing…that Abarai Renji was more than just willing to die fighting for it…He was honored to do so.

Byakuya…

A name that used to carry with it a hidden, inward feeling of sheer terror…but now touched his heart with the beauty of a rising sun…

Byakuya…

Dark, smoldering eyes that could shift from calm and searching to fiery and deadly in less time than it took to blink…

A mane of raven black, sakura scented hair that felt like silk against his skin…

Skin so soft and pale that he couldn't be real…

He must instead be a creature of light and fire, of passion and fury…

His very name like that of the iciest of winter nights…but inside, his heart burned hotter than an August sun.

_I won't be afraid of this…I've been given everything…everything I ever wanted…and more. My dreams are complete. You brought them to life. And even if you can't save me from this…you have saved me in ways you'll never know…my friend…my lover…my life partner…my Byakuya…aishiteru yo…aishteru yo…aishiteru yo…_

Beneath him, there was motion now…as the ties were released…as they spun free of the shaft of the great halberd and the Sokyoku began to rise slowly into the air. The giant spearhead shimmered and swelled with immense power…power that washed over the surface of Skyoku Hill and sent the dust flying in all directions. And soon his dust would lie on the bright, hot surface of that hill, far from the hopeless streets he had come from…in a greater place. And his name would be spoken with reverence…whispered by the ones he had inspired, called out in tearful memory by the ones he had called friend and screamed by the one whose heart he now felt beating alongside his own.

He needed so badly to feel that now…the calm and steady beating of that other heart…the steady rise and fall of his breathing…the settling of his gaze…the touch of his soft, pale hand…the brushing of his lips…the tickle of breath and hair…the feeling that somehow, if they could manage to hold things together…that everything would be all right. He could believe that…could trust it…could stake his life on it…

_Byakuya…aishiteru yo…_

Just thinking the words made him calm inside…calmed the rush of red flame that had always risen inside him and made him fight. But there was no more fighting to be done now. It was his now to wait as the great firebird formed before him, to feel the fire dance on his golden skin, lighting the tattoos that had so recently been delicately traced with his lover's lips and tongue, to feel the beginning of the end as the great bird shrieked…a sound that broke over the barren plateau and raised the dust, made the trees shiver, shook the very foundation, and to know that no matter what happened…it would be all right…

_Yes…it will be all right…all of it_

_Byakuya…_

_It will be all right…_

XXXXXXXXXX

He had learned the secret a hundred years before, while still just a boy…when his body was barely the weight of a handful of leaves on the wind and the speaking of his name spawned only the calm shaking of heads and the resigned voices chanting to themselves that he would 'grow out of it,' that he would 'be more sensible someday,' that he would 'mature into the leader we know he can be.' But to the whip-thin youth, the last concern in his mind had been leadership. He was far too curious and alive to be forced into that trap…those bindings…

Kuchiki Byakuya was not about power and privilege…

He didn't care about pride or honor or following rules…

He longed only to feel the rush of wind in his hair and against the too soft skin, too feel the ground rumble beneath his brutally swift feet, and to feel the hard pounding in his chest that told him he was alive and free and unbound…

He laughed to think how much he terrified them all!

So he tore free of them as often as he could free himself of their eyes and ran, unchecked across the meadows and through the forests of Kuchiki Manor, thrilling in the sounds of breezes that caressed his slim body, of birdsong and sweet cicada, and always just a flash step beyond the voices calling him back, reining him in, slowly cornering him and slowing the heavy cadence of that youthful, passionate heart.

Because that's what the problem was…

Kuchiki Byakuya had too much heart…

His passions were too great, his emotions too powerful, his leanings too far afield. He was imperfect, they told him, but they could make him over, they could bring him around and help him fit in.

For so long, he resisted the notion. He couldn't be so imperfect, flawed, unnatural as they said. Being passionate and alive felt so beautiful. It brought tears to his eyes to think that the young, strong body he inhabited wasn't meant to run free in the fields, that the heart that pounded beneath his breast was only meant to keep a calm, steady cadence, that his steps must not be wicked fast, but slow and measured unless in the heat of battle…but their ropes were around him now. They burned at wrist and ankle, holding him fast and forcing him to accept their intervention…to reject his imperfections…to slowly learn to hate himself…

And Kuchiki Byakuya, being a creature of great passion hated himself with that same passion. He admonished the body that still ached to explode into flash steps and escape them, he lashed out at the impulsiveness of a mind that still resisted, and he cursed the heart inside that cried for the life he felt draining away. He was sure he was lost…insane…dying inside.

But somehow, he managed to survive.

And his heart settled and became more wise. His heart still raced, but only when his body rose up in battle. His mind calmed and became deeply focused, only allowed to escape its stiff confines when the moon was full…when the stars shone and all of his commitments were seen to. And he buried his emotions deeply…so deeply that the ones around him now shook their heads in approval. "Much more seemly," they said. And now, they couldn't see how their words shattered him inside, made his heart ache with loneliness, made him feel so empty.

He couldn't bear to feel so empty…

So he filled his hours with training and reports, with attention to detail and commitment to duty. He busied his mind with strategies and tactics. And he forced down that furiously beating heart that railed against being confined, that ached for freedom, that broke beneath the words of reproach…but it was only allowed to feel quietly under moon and stars now…and it was never, ever allowed to make him shed tears…

Until he came…

The one made of spirit and red fire…golden skin and black tattoos, who cared little for rules and was almost never on time, except when it came to rescuing the ones he loved. He was one whose feet remembered how to run, one whose heart beat freely and whose mind delighted in the simplest things, yet things when considered in their fullness, were profound…living, breathing, loving, fighting…but done for all of the right reasons.

He wanted badly to hate that man, that one who defied rules and stepped over boundaries to have, to hold, to protect…to follow carefully, to watch with purpose…to chase after…to chase after…him.

Yes, even then, there was such passion between us…born between love and hatred, between beauty and ugliness, between fire and ice…

But Kuchiki Byakuya's heart turned on him, and rebelled right where it beat in his chest. It wouldn't hate Abarai Renji…it couldn't. It loved Renji with every tiny fiber of its being…and that love was too loud to be submerged, too powerful to be contained, too strong to be forced down. It raked him with life, with feeling with passion until he could stand it no more…until he had no choice to let it run through his body, explode through his mind and claim his heart.

And now that love had him running so fast the wind tore his flesh, had his mind so consumed it had forgotten all thoughts of control, of safety, of self preservation. His heart was screaming out loud for that one, that only other that could complete him…and he gave everything now, because his heart knew that if he wasn't in time, if he was too late, if Renji was lost…

He would not live to see the light of another dawn.

So whip-thin and poorly dressed, feral-eyed, half mad…hair and silk snapping in the air as he moved, he raced for the dimension where the one he loved waited, where he could feel that the Soukyoku was rising, where hope was fading with the dying light and all was about to be lost. Everything came down to that wicked fast step, to the pounding heart and the will to be free. Everything…

Time seemed to slow until it nearly stood still. His breath hissed and burned in and out, in and out. His heart raced so fast that it threatened to burst in his chest and his body trembled with strain. The power lit the air around him, pink and white, so lovely and deadly as his very life force bled away and out. Yes, he was beyond caring except that enough would be left to call forth the king's final gift, to set Renji free, then to fall into those strong arms and be held as he quietly expired, as he breathed his last breath, whispering the name of his beloved. He wasn't afraid anymore. He wouldn't be alone anymore. He wouldn't be…

He touched the wall of that dimension, felt Renji's presense, called Senbonzakura to his hand and blasted the barrier to pieces.

_Renji, I'm here!_

XXXXXXXXXX

The great firebird rose up out of the spearhead of the Soukyoku and settled in the air before Renji, the powerful wings beating, sending tiny bits of flame swirling out, dancing through the air to touch his skin with the promise of a swift, brutal, humane death. The cold, black eye struck his, and Renji's body stiffened involuntarily…frozen under the weight of that glare. He couldn't move or breathe or think. He was held suspended in that moment, staring his death in the face. It was unbelievable, unthinkable, impossible that this could be happening. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Good was supposed to triumph over evil, life to remain in spite of death, love to remove all hatred. But Soutaichou's eyes were the ones filled with triumph…and Renji grieved that it should be so…This wasn't the captain commander he remembered, who was stiff and straight-backed about rules, but saw the wisdom of allowing a bit of recklessness now and again, who demanded much but rewarded achievement with praise and paternal warmth. This was his body, yes, and his zanpakutou…but, Renji realized, the dark power in those old eyes was not his…

It was as though, in fact, there was a tiny piece of the old king that hadn't been there for Aizen Sousuke to destroy…that it had been carefully released and sent into the body of this one to wait, to watch, to emerge and overwhelm…and when the time was right, to kill…

_Damn! That's it isn't it?_

But it was too late to stop it now. The firebird was moving…screeching, bearing down on his unprotected heart. He wouldn't close his eyes, though, wouldn't cringe as death approached. He wouldn't blink…

He felt fire on his flesh and in his lungs and all around. He couldn't breathe, couldn't see, couldn't hear through the roar of its approach. But something was happening! Something had appeared in the air before him and was somehow between the Soukyoku and him.

He was surrounded in blinding pink and white light and he shined with the strength of a small sun. Raven black hair and the white clothes he wore, beat against his body with the whipping of the howling wind. He glanced back over his shoulder and Renji's heart skipped a beat. Because his senses told him that this was Byakuya. But Byakuya had never looked this way…with white light pouring out of his body, with eyes that blazed with white power that stole everything else away. And this creature was flowing power at a level Byakuya wouldn't have dared. He would have known it would be too dangerous…that to release all of his controls like that would be a one-way trip. It would be the end of him. That kind of power would eat even Byakuya alive!

He had moved back slightly and settled in front of Renji, watching as the great bird paused, staring, then gathered itself again to attack. And the beautiful, powerlit body moved back again. It moved back and settled against Renji…his back to Renji's chest, his head slightly turned so a soft, pale cheek rested against Renji's.

"Are you ready to claim that gift?" Byakuya asked quietly, his eyes on the incoming firebird.

"Oh hell, I was ready ages ago!" Renji laughed nervously.

Then their time was gone.

The firebird swept forward, shrieking as it approached them. And together they invoked the king's gift.

Their world disappeared into a sea of consuming flame. Renji saw the sharp black beak reach the beautiful, white breast of his lover, the place where his heart beat and the place where Renji's heart now resided. There wasn't time for a catching of breath, for a gasp, for a cry of terror, for a scream.

But something had appeared on that white breast, a marking, a sigil…something that stopped the beak from penetrating, that held it back from devouring…and from Byakuya's heart, white light was erupting, flowing out, surrounding the firebird, the stand and even themselves. There was a moment of deep silence, the drawing of a final breath…and then firebird and stand shattered, bursting into a huge shower of golden sparks and flowing over the suddenly freed man who wrapped his arms around his lover as they slowly sank to the ground together.

And the eyes regained their dark gray color and gazed lovingly into his…

The pale hands held onto his shoulders…

The soft lips parted and released his name…

"Renji."

And the rest flowed out in a long, slow exhale…

And the hands that had been holding onto him so tightly…

let go…


	28. The Dead King's Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renji and Tetsuya, along with the Kuchiki elders fight an all out battle against the corrupted Captain Commander.

"N-no…" Renji breathed, his eyes flaring in disbelief, "Byakuya…no!"

But the light had gone out of his eyes and they were very slowly closing. His head fell against Renji's shoulder, the swirls of black hair falling down, covering his features, so Renji couldn't see…and the hair over lips and mouth so horribly still. The slender, graceful hands slid down his body and hung free. And Renji's heart broke at the redness that streaked along the torn skin, the deep bruising from the raw elbows to the discolored fingers. He lifted them to his lips, shaking softly at the sight of them.

"They locked you up," he sobbed softly, "but you got away from them. They tried to hold you back, but you came to me. You got to me in time. And I'm here for you too…I am." Renji brushed the hair away from his ashen face and kissed him on the soft, pliant lips. But the still-warm lips did not move against his…and there was no warm tickle of breath on his face.

"B-bya…you can't…go…Byakuya…"

He buried his face in the pale skin of his throat and the soft, silken yukata that still held the scents of sakura, of fire and their lovemaking. He breathed them in and released them in a hard, aching sob. A hand settled on his shoulder and a voice so like that other's sounded beside him.

"Is he…" Tetsuya began.

"He isn't breathing," Renji said in a choked voice, the tears beginning to stream down his face, "but I can feel his heart beating…"

"But his reiatsu…"

"His heart's still beating!" Renji cried sharply, drowning out the other's words.

Someone was approaching them, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered but keeping life within the warm, quiet body he held in his arms.

"I still feel your heart!" Renji raged, "It's still beating! You have to keep fighting…you have to…you have to."

"He is a dead man…as are you," said a dark voice.

And it was obvious now…that this was not their Soutaichou…that he had somehow been overcome. It had something to do with the last Spirit King…

Renji held Byakuya against him and felt a glimmer of hope as he realized that his lover's heart continued to beat.

"Abarai fukutaichou," said Unohana taichou's soft voice, "if you will allow me, I will see to Kuchiki taichou's injuries."

"He isn't breathing," Renji said, his voice catching strangely, "but I can feel his heart beating."

"He is moments from death," the healer said, leaning over the pale form that lay unmoving in the dust beneath their knees, "but I believe he can be saved. While I see to him, I think you will have to assist the others in calming Soutaichou."

Renji looked up at the captain commander, who stood only a few feet away, his body bathed in fire and his eyes glowing strangely.

"Abarai Renji…" the strange voice growled, "You are dangerous…you can't be trusted…you were the one who was supposed to die. His blood is still useful…and he has proven himself able to carry the king's reiatsu. I would have preserved him…but you…you are dangerous to us. You do not listen. You do not obey. You do not fear…"

"No…" said Renji, standing.

Tetsuya's hand touched his arm and Renji felt the seal on his power release. And Zabimaru appeared in his hand, flaring beneath his palm and screaming to be released. Because if Byakuya died, that meant that Senbonzakura would be lost too. And as much as their masters were bound by their love, these zanpakutou were bound to protect each other.

Renji stared fixedly at the flames licking Soutaichou's body…at the cold, unfeeling eyes…at the death that waited to claim him.

"Abarai Renji," said Tetsuya's calm voice, "My cousin may have fallen, but he had at his command the full power of the Council of Elders. And while he is incapacitated, we trust that you will give us the same sure guidance he would have. Having served as his fukutaichou, you know what he would do. Tell us what to do."

Renji kept his eyes on the captain commander.

"I need to focus all of my power on attack," Renji said softly, "I will need you to shield me."

Tetsuya nodded and moved cautiously away. The taichous, too, were moving…spreading out, drawing their weapons.

"What are we going for here?" called out Ukitake taichou, "Containment or…"

"I think I have to find a way to release him," said Renji.

"And what makes you think that?" muttered Zaraki taichou, tightening his hand on his weapon, "What makes you the one?"

Renji pulled back the cloth of his yukata, revealing an odd golden marking on his breast, like the one that marked Byakuya.

"This," he said quietly.

There was a sharp, collective intake of breath.

"The Royal Cipher…" whispered Tetsuya, his face white with shock, "That's how my cousin stopped the Soukyoku with his body. He had this marking as well!"

The noble's sapphire eyes locked on Renji's, his face lined with determination.

"We will attempt to hold him in place, so that you can cleanse him of that which has claimed him."

Renji nodded.

"We will raise a reiatsu cage so that he cannot escape," said Hitsugaya taichou, moving off to the side.

The rest of the taichous spread out around the captain commander, sharing their power and bringing a golden barrier into place to mark the field around them.

"A word about strategy, if I may," offered Tetsuya, "as the taichous are holding the reiatsu cage to enclose us all, they will not be able to assist in the battle. We will provide defense and attempt to hold him in place, but you must be the one to strike him. Your power will kill the invading reiatsu and free Soutaichou."

"Check," said Renji, flash stepping away.

He glanced back briefly at the place where Unohana taichou leaned over Byakuya…still working. And as long as she was leaning over him like that, still working, there was still life in him to be saved. Renji forced Byakuya's fate from his mind forcefully and brought all of his mind to bear on the situation at hand.

Soutaichou stood, sword in hand, eyeing Renji with a cold, blood-hungry gaze. Power shot from his blade unexpectedly, a flash of red fire that blazed toward the redhead, only to disappear a short distance away, consumed by Kuchiki Tetsuya's kido spell. Renji shot him a look of gratitude and made a mental note to expect the unexpected and to move his ass faster the next time…or there wouldn't be a time beyond that!

Soutaichou had it in his mind to test that. He flash stepped at blinding speed, disappearing and reappearing at different places on the battlefield…so fast that the eye could not follow. His zanpakutou sent volley after volley of flame, forcing Renji into a spinning, tumbling and rolling dance with death. His skin burned where tendrils of flame had licked his skin and his lungs burned as much from moving so quickly as from the fires. And he wasn't just firing at Renji. He sent fire flaring after the wickedly swift and graceful, dark haired nobles, who worked their way into a slow circle and prepared to engage a set of combined binding spells. They seemed nearly set, when a flash of fire sent one Kuchiki noble tumbling into a cluster of rocks, from which he failed to reappear. The others closed ranks and reset the perimeter, bringing up blades and preparing to fire their binding spells.

They had just loosed the spells when Soutaichou dived unexpectedly at Renji and the redhead brought up his hands.

"Hado #31 Shakkahou!"

The red fire shot from his hands as he flash stepped away, then he realized Soutaichou was laughing…

_Red fire…Damn!_

Fire wasn't going to help him…unless.

Renji's eyes widened as an unexpected blast of fire closed in on him. He flash stepped, but the fire followed…and followed through the next several steps, finally catching him and throwing him down, searing his flesh. With a scream of pain, he rolled to his feet, and flash stepped away. He flash stepped several more times as Soutaichou loosed another volley at him and the Kuchiki nobles closed in on him again. Renji felt a pang of fear as he noticed that two more had fallen to Soutaichou's last volley.

"Tetsuya, look out!" he cried, sending Zabimaru winging toward the noble.

Tetsuya flash stepped away, turning in a move that looked like it came straight from Byakuya's own repertoire…circling the captain commander and firing a binding spell from above as six others fired them from a circle around him. The golden ropes wrapped around Soutaichou, holding him in place as the fire around him flared dangerously and he twisted and turned, trying to free himself.

"Ban kai" screamed Renji, "Hihio Zabimaru!"

The skeletal snake exploded out of his weapon with a speed and fury that Renji had never experienced. It fired itself at Soutaichou heedlessly, not even waiting for the redhead's command.

"Hikotsu Taihou!" he cried.

His spirit energy burst through the soaring snake, lighting a red fireball in its mouth and sending it down at the ensnared captain commander. Soutaichou's eyes flared suddenly and a huge explosion shattered the bonds that held him and sent the Kuchiki nobles falling away in all directions. A chill went through Renji as he realized that only five of them remained on their feet and all of those looked battered and somewhat shaken. Renji was clear enough to realize that he likely looked no better.

A blast of kido sent Renji crashing to the ground and he felt Soutaichou flash step toward him. Tetsuya's slim form rose up between them, slashing at the captain commander and dancing away, circling around and teasing him again to give Renji time to get back on his feet.

If only his feet wanted to get back under him! His legs wobbled beneath him and Renji felt a dribble of blood streaming down the side of his face. He saw Soutaichou swing his sword and Tetsuya fell. Everything in Renji screamed that he should go to the noble's aid, but a calm voice in his mind told him to slow down, to breathe, to think. Soutaichou walked to where Tetsuya lay writhing on the ground. The noble turned and pushed himself to his knees, managing a kido spell that threw him backwards, but gained a bit of space. But Soutaichou flash stepped with him, then wrapped a hand around the noble's throat and lifted him into the air. He brought his blade to the struggling noble's heart and turned to meet Renji's eyes.

"How many of them do you want me to have to kill?" the captain commander said in an eerily calm voice, "They are the ones who make the best consorts when a consort is needed…yes, the Kuchiki family is powerful and strong of heart…truly noble. But you are a mongrel…and you have no use now! Come to me, mongrel. Come and accept your fate. Or I will walk around this field and cut them up one by one. Their blood will make a river of red…is that what you want…Mongrel?"

A sudden movement and a flash of light blinded Renji. And suddenly, Soutaichou turned and threw Tetsuya to the ground. The noble struck the ground forcefully and fell still…but he had created a distraction…a chance for Renji to attack. Choking back tears at the noble's sacrifice, he sent the skeletal snake roaring toward the captain commander.

"Hikotsu Taihou!" he screamed.

The skeletal snake crashed down, missing again, but sending Soutaichou to the ground. Renji flash stepped forward and sent Zabimaru on the attack again. Suddenly, the entire length of the skeletal snake began to glow bright red and then it burst apart, flying in all directions and raining down onto all parts of the battlefield.

Renji dived for the cover of some nearby rocks and recalled his zanpakutou. He knew he needed to keep Soutaichou at bay for a few minutes while his zanpakutou regained its power. Luckily for him, the dust and smoke obscured the battlefield. It would make it hard for Soutaichou to find him…hopefully…

His hopes were dashed a moment later when a sword slashed down and cut into his sword arm as he rolled away. He backed away as Soutaichou flash stepped forward, sword extended and engaging Renji in a blinding display of cuts and slashes. His blood was running freely as he flash stepped clear again, but he had to be damned thankful that Byakuya had been on his ass about his footwork. One bad step and the wounds he would have been nursing would have been life threatening! These were bad enough, but they weren't enough to take him down…and it was encouraging that Soutraichou wasn't using his flame attack…but even if he couldn't use it now, he would probably regain use of it soon…and Renji was going to be in deep, deep shit.

He looked around and tried to tell himself that he wasn't alone…that at least some of the nobles must be conscious…hidden, but waiting for an opening. He couldn't be out here alone…facing Soutaichou with a recharging weapon and bad fucking kido!

"Abarai Renji…" said the low, wicked voice, "You are dangerous…you must die…"

And before he could move, a hand wrapped firmly around his throat, tightening like a vise and lifting him off his feet. Zabimaru dropped from his nerveless hand and he felt rush of dizziness and numbness spreading through his body that told him he had gone from deep shit…to an ocean of shit…

"Damn," he croaked, tearing at the hand that held him.

His vision was beginning to fade. He felt the area darken and he hoped beyond hope that the other taichous could do a better job of…

But who the fuck was he trying to kid?

This job was given to him…

It wasn't the job of the others to clean up his mess…or to make up for his inadequacies. He felt the fury raging deep down inside…felt it growing and lifting as the light began to go out of his eyes.

Somehow, the horizon had gone pink…He loved that color…and so many times, he had seen it go pink before…out on the battlefield…when Taichou stepped in to save their collective asses, then to flash step away…He could almost hear it…that soft, sweet voice…

"Scatter, Senbonzakura."

He could almost feel the impact on the strong body that held his suspended, gripped, incapacitated.

But, no…

There was a flash of pink, a grunt of pain, and the hands relaxed slightly letting life return to him…

And he hadn't been hearing things…

The air was pink all around them.

Renji lifted his hands and held them against the captain commander's body. He reached inside himself and invoked the power of the Royal Cipher, sending the pure blast of cleansing energy out of himself and into the one who held him. The captain commander howled madly as the power sank into his body, burning away the hidden reiatsu that had been placed there by the former king. There was fire burning Renji's skin and he was losing consciousness…and out of the corner of his eye, he could see a slim male form crawling towards him on hands and knees, his zanpakutou still in his hand.

"Renji…" he called, his chest heaving, "Renji!"

The captain commander let go and Renji sank to the ground as his legs gave way. Soutaichou had dropped to the ground and the battlefield was growing quiet. The reiatsu cage around them shattered and Renji could feel the rush of power as the taichous swept toward them.

Then soft hands touched him…hands still shaking from the strain of releasing an attack so soon after his healing…and a soft voice was whispering in his ear.

"It's okay now Renji, you did it…Soutaichou is free…"

A trembling body curled into his arms and dark hair and sweet breath tickled his cheek and throat. He breathed in the beautiful scent of sakura and drifted on the sound of that voice…as healing power rose around the two and Unohana taichou's voice sounded softly beside them.

"…and I thought Kuchiki taichou was reckless enough on his own. Imagine all of the trouble they'll get into, now that they're married!"

"Kami," he whispered, "Byakuya, it's still our wedding night!"

Byakuya didn't answer, but he felt the soft purr of laughter against his throat and shoulder. He held Byakuya close, only relinquishing his grasp when they were placed on stretchers to be carried back home.


	29. Circling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji recover from the battle at the Soukyoku.

Cool morning light flowed through the window and into the fourth division healing room where Kuchiki Byakuya lay sleeping. And at his side, Abarai Renji dozed with watchful, half-closed eyes, his head resting on the pillow next to Byakuya's, his body wrapped in a generous supply of bandages, and the light sting of battle still on his skin. It felt good to know that this battle was over and won, and the aches and stings were an ironically pleasant reminder that he was still alive and kicking…as was the man lying in the bed.

It had been close…too damned close…

Because despite outward appearances, Byakuya had taken the greater damage…and true to form, most was carefully concealed and on the inside. In comparison to Renji, Byakuya's body wore fewer bandages. In fact, the only bandages on him were the ones wrapped carefully around his arms, from elbows to palms…a reminder to Renji of just how desperate he had been to escape his confinement in the first division…to break free and to go to the one he loved…the one he loved enough to die for.

It was another ironic fact that while all of Renji's wounds had been gotten in battle and were placed on his body by their enemy, Byakuya's wounds had all been self-inflicted. The wounds to hands and arms, a reminder of the desperation that led him to throw himself hysterically against the door, walls and seals that had enclosed him so he could free himself to see to Renji's protection. And from what Renji had seen when passing that place in the first division where Byakuya had been held, the room they had sealed him into had paid dearly for the privilege of confining him. That made him smile.

But the damage to both the room and Byakuya's arms paled in comparison to what he had done to himself on the inside. Under the careful supervision of Unohana taichou, Renji had been allowed to view what Byakuya had done to himself on the inside in his fight to escape the first division. The sight of the badly burned internal organs, flesh and bone…and worse, the sight of his nearly blackened spirit centers, through which he had channeled the incredible amounts of power Renji had witnessed, was a poignant testament to just how much this man loved him. Byakuya hadn't just been willing to die for him. He had been willing to release the full fury of his uncontrolled power, to nearly blow his own body to pieces, just to be able to reach Renji and to throw himself between his lover and the Soukyoku. Renji wasn't simply deeply flattered, nor even just amazed and gratified…Renji was left determined that as soon as the noble woke, they needed to have a serious talk about his reckless over-protectiveness. Byakuya, he decided, could do well enough sacrificing himself in an extreme situation, but he didn't have to feel the need to sacrifice himself at every opportunity. Renji chuckled inwardly, thinking about just how far he would get, trying to make that argument.

He studied Byakuya's quiet, peaceful expression and watched the slow, steady rise and fall of his breathing. The deep, tranquil, healer induced sleep would need to last through the day and one more night before he would see the dark, smoky eyes open and blink sleepily, before he would hear that calm, quiet voice again and before the two would be freed to walk back through the streets of the Seireitei to their home.

Kuchiki Manor…

It was a place that Renji had only even set foot in two or three times before. He remembered the warm, earthen colors, the feeling of comfort wherever a body made contact with the furniture…and the almost celestial, otherworldly gardens that made Renji feel as though just walking in them made him stand a bit taller and breathe more deeply, feel more alive. And he didn't have to have ever seen Byakuya's bedroom to know that the furniture was warm in color, that the doors into the garden were nearly always open, and that the bed he slept in was sinfully soft and comfortable.

That he would ever live in such a place…

But they were married now. Not that either had spent one damned minute thinking about the full implications of that. They had never gone through the simple, preparatory steps of pair bonding. But they had, it seemed, managed to build a firm foundation anyway. For years, they worked side-by-side, gaining a deep, thorough knowledge of each other. They had had their share of quarrels and Byakuya nearly always won…mostly because he was taichou, but also because he was usually (Damn it!) right. Even so, each had learned over time to listen to the other, to know what was needed and to resolve conflict as quickly and amicably as possible. They hadn't actually ever gone on a date, but what could be more beautiful, Renji thought, than the nights far from home on the battlefield, when instead of using tents, they had chosen to sleep under the stars…and how Renji would find Byakuya sleeping on his stomach and would loose his red hair and lie down with his head resting in the small of his taichou's back…looking up at the stars. And sometimes, when he was too worked up to sleep, Byakuya would tell him stories…myths and legends of the stars overhead…and he would sit and listen voraciously, hanging on every word. That, he decided, was better than dating.

There was no particular time that he could point out as 'when they fell in love.' Love, for them, was a long, slow fall…something deeply beautiful that had happened so naturally and gradually, that they didn't even know that what they had gotten themselves into was love.

But they were in it now…

They were in for all of it now…the sharing of space, the give and take, the raising of children, the easing of each other's hurts, the slow deepening of their love over time…all of it. And Abarai Renji couldn't wait for that. He planned to savor every minute. Because he couldn't have dreamed of a better future.

When, as a child, he ran up and down the dusty, poor streets of Inuzuri, he'd had no idea that the one he would love was somewhere not so far away, being captured and gentled, forced into a mold…that years later, they would meet, but that his first instinct would be to hate the powerful man who took his best friend away from him. He couldn't have anticipated that while he watched Byakuya so carefully, hoping to someday surpass him, that he instead would begin to open a deep connection with him…and that, inexplicably, Byakuya would let Renji approach more closely than others, let Renji see him more clearly, let him realize that Byakuya was nothing like the person seen at the surface. That fact, he realized, made it all of the more difficult when they came to the battlefield as enemies in the fight over Rukia's fate. Because at that point, they not only knew how to damage each other physically, they knew how to strike wounds on each others' hearts. And in the aftermath of that, Renji had realized that even though he had fought against the ones trying to save Rukia, Byakuya's heart had not been in winning. Torn between his late wife and dead parents, he had simply been caught in the crossfire of their desires, never once considering where his own heart would have led him…because by then, it was far too deeply submerged. And that awful realization was what brought Renji to the healing center after…to see that their wounds were mended…that the conflict was resolved…and that despite all that had happened, he was ready to forgive and forget and move forward. But that left the ball in Byakuya's court. Renji had been completely surprised when his beleaguered taichou had indicated a desire for the same.

It had been extremely difficult those first few weeks after…for him to see the regret in his taichou's eyes, to see the sadness that would appear at times and then be just as quickly hidden again. But slowly, things had resolved themselves and he and Byakuya had become comfortable with each other again. But this time, something was different. Their actions were the same, but they meant more. When Byakuya placed a corrective hand on his arm or leg during training, the touch was slightly more lingering, more warm. And when Renji brought him his tea, there was a moment of electricity between them when their hands touched in the exchange…and that had happened often. And often as they worked, one or the other would look up, their eyes would meet and there would be a moment of warm acknowledgment. So much happened in those small, simple moments that Renji had never noticed before.

And he had to laugh inwardly at how he had bemoaned the fact that Byakuya made it so difficult for him to see the closeness, to see the affection. Now that his eyes were fully opened to the beautiful, complex person he had married, the signs of Byakuya's affection were glaringly obvious to him. And as they moved forward, he intended to appreciate everything. Something in Byakuya's more recent demeanor suggested to Renji that he would not be alone in that endeavor.

The door opened behind Renji, making him raise his head and turn. He smiled as a much bandaged and pale-looking Tetsuya settled into the chair beside his. The head elder looked exceptional for one who had taken so much damage, but then again, that did seem to be a Kuchiki family trait.

"How is my cousin faring today?" he asked quietly.

"He's getting a lot of rest. They really did a good job of putting him out. I think Unohana taichou was determined that he would rest and not be dragging himself back to Kuchiki Manor, blustering about how he was 'fine.' This way, there's no argument. In fact, I think this was the only way they were going to win the argument."

"Smart healers," commented Tetsuya, still smiling.

Renji found himself really beginning to like the head elder. He knew that, in general, the council was not pleased that their leader had bonded with a peasant…and a male peasant at that. But they had had to admit that first, they had already once agreed to accept a peasant as his wife…and then there was the fact that Renji had not only assisted them in getting Byakuya to produce an heir, but the heir they had produced had all of the markers of one who would become a very powerful shinigami one day. Some of the council members, he was sure, would continue to look down on him. But not Tetsuya. Their cooperation in the battle against Soutaichou had caused them to connect. In actuality, all of the elders respected what they had seen Renji do…but this one, this noble whose connection with Byakuya needed to remain strong, had realized right away that there was much to like about Abarai Renji. And within the confines of his position, he was finding many ways to express it.

"How are the rest of the council members doing?" Renji asked, studying Tetsuya's bandages.

The noble chuckled softly.

"Everyone will be fine…a bit banged up perhaps, but it is good to get out of the council chambers and take sword in hand to defend the important things. We have agreed that meetings will be suspended for the rest of the week."

"Ah," grinned Renji, "probably a good idea."

"We do need to meet in the near future to plan a proper wedding reception…now that it is clear you will not be executed. Certainly, our leader's wedding is an important occasion and although the council was privy to the actual ceremony, the larger portion of the Kuchiki family was not able to take part."

"And you think they'll want to?" Renji asked, tilting his head quizzically.

"Oh," said Tetsuya with a knowing expression, "They are going to be very interested in you, Abarai-san."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Perhaps you and I should meet before that lovely occasion so I might give you some advanced knowledge of the family members you will meet and what nuances you might employ to best address their unique personal eccentricities."

Renji grinned good-naturedly.

"Are you offering to give me inside information? That's a little bit scandalous, isn't it?" he asked, chuckling.

"Hmm, perhaps. And most likely, my cousin will offer you the same before the fact, so it's probably unnecessary. But, I must confess that I find that your company is rather enjoyable…especially when you are armed," Tetsuya answered, smirking.

"Why? Because I damage myself almost as much as I damage my enemies?" Renji laughed.

"Actually, I very much enjoyed seeing your ban kai release. Quite a powerful creature, your skeletal snake. I worried you might actually cook Soutaichou, rather than cleanse him!"

"Do the two of you mind?" Byakuya said softly, opening one gray eye to observe them, "I am attempting to allow healing to take place."

"Hey," Renji said sharply, "Who said you could wake up? You're supposed to be out until something more like tomorrow morning!"

"Abarai, I am…"

"Don't even start, Byakuya. Unohana taichou gave me a first-hand look at just how bad you tore yourself up inside this time. Get some sleep, or I swear, I'll get those healers back in here and have them use enough kido to leave you sleeping for a week!"

"How quickly marriage changes the dynamic, eh Cousin?" Tetsuya said pleasantly.

He stood and started for the door.

"Well, I imagine that the two of you have much to talk about, what with your wedding reception to plan…Abarai-san's clan acceptance ritual, Beniko's family introduction. With all of the celebrating, it may be necessary to combine some occasions, ne?"

"Wait," said Renji, furrowing his brow, "What's all this about a ritual introduction? I already did blood rites and a handfasting…there's more?"

"Oh yes, much more, Abarai-san. But I'm sure that my cousin will advise you. Or if not, I would be willing to assist."

"Great…thanks…" Renji muttered as the chuckling noble disappeared out the door, "Byakuya…"

He turned back and realized that his life partner's eyes were closed again and he appeared to have gone back to sleep.

"Oh yeah, now he wants to sleep," Renji said affectionately.

He gazed at the noble for a moment.

"I am going to make you explain that acceptance ritual…" he muttered, sighing, "They'll probably have me do something really bizarre, like…like…dress me in my underwear and have each one eat an olive from my navel…or some weird shit like that!"

He glanced out the window and missed the fleeting smirk that graced Byakuya's sleeping face.

"But I guess whatever it is…I'll just have to bite the bullet and swallow."

He shrugged dismissively.

"I guess you're worth it."

He closed the distance between them and started to sit down again, but noticed that it actually looked like Byakuya had moved over enough so that there was now room for two in the bed. He turned back to the door and locked it, then crossed the room slowly, resting his eyes on the peacefully sleeping noble. He slipped beneath the covers and pulled Byakuya close.

The noble shifted slightly to settle into his embrace. The dark gray eyes opened and regarded him sleepily for a moment.

"I guess you're worth it, too…" he whispered.


	30. The King's Personal Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji have an audience with the king they made.

"I don't know about you, Taichou," Renji said, flash stepping from stone to stone across a small stream, "but I am glad that acceptance ritual is over and done with. It was nice meeting so much of your family, but I don't know what I thought would kill me first, the damned straitjacket I had to wear, the introductions and readings of everyone's lineage, the dagger stares I got from the ones that didn't like me or the interrogations by the ones who did! I sure as hell hope I didn't offend anyone."

Byakuya followed him across the stream, then stopped to adjust the sling he wore and to gently tickle the fingertips of the baby resting in its folds.

"Well, it wouldn't be a proper family gathering if someone wasn't offended, Renji," he replied, glancing up at the redhead, "And…if you do not wish to offend me, then you need to stop calling me Taichou when we are alone."

"Well, we are on official business," Renji reminded him.

"But we are alone," Byakuya said, an edge of impatience in his voice, "I believe that being married and having a child together relieves us of the need for that kind of formality."

He stopped for a moment to enjoy the coolness of the shade and the sound of the rushing water.

"But I like calling you Taichou!" Renji grinned, "That's just who you are to me. And hold up a minute. It's my turn to carry Beniko."

Byakuya nodded and lifted the infant out of the sling, holding him close as Renji took the sling and positioned it on his own body.

"Well," Byakuya admitted, "I do enjoy your particular inflection when you say it. I wouldn't have expected that a military designation could become an affectionate term. But it also implies a boundary that has ceased to exist."

"What are you talking about?" Renji asked, narrowing his eyes, "You are still my taichou, aren't you?"

"Yes," Byakuya said, turning to start down the trail, "but I am also your life partner…and I consider you a close friend as well. And in these other areas, ranking becomes irrelevant. It points out an inequality that isn't there."

Renji shrugged and followed, reaching into the sling to touch Beniko's cheek as he walked.

"Besides," Byakuya went on, "You have to realize that having reached ban kai, you will likely be taking the taichou's examination soon and perhaps advancing. I told you already that your name continues to come up when we discuss candidates for those open positions."

"Yeah…well…Right now, I'm happy where I am," Renji replied, falling in beside him again.

They walked for several minutes in silence.

"Renji," Byakuya said finally, "you need to be certain that you do not hold yourself back because of me. I know we've grown very comfortable with our work situation, but it is a matter of fact and a natural progression for you to move up in ranking."

"Is that why you refused the promotion to the Royal Guard?" Renji asked pointedly.

Byakuya's eyes widened.

"I wasn't aware you knew about that."

"Oh come on," Renji said, shaking his head, "I knew something was going on. It was just a matter of knowing whose buttons to push."

"And you didn't consider just asking me what was on my mind?" Byakuya asked, looking up at him.

"Not any more than you considered just telling me. That's what I waited for…for you to tell me. I waited with unusual patience, I might add. I only started poking around for information when it seemed you were never going to say anything."

"I would have said something…but to be honest, the extension of the offer took me by surprise," Byakuya said, lowering his eyes to the trail, "It is extremely unusual for someone my age to be inducted into the Zero Squad. I was expecting to have some number of years before the possibility arose. It is a very immense honor, but it comes at a price, Renji. We would have had to relocate to the spirit dimension…and while it would have been possible to continue as clan leader, it would have necessitated that I travel back and forth to conduct business. Again, not a large deterrent, but it was something to consider. Then, there is the simple fact that I have taken great care in making Kuchiki Manor a comfortable place to live and raise our children and that I didn't wish to have to relocate and start again."

He sighed softly.

"And besides, I didn't actually refuse. I have an open invitation to join them at will. I can take that step at any time."

Renji looked up at up and chuckled nervously.

"I'll remember that the next time we have a lovers' quarrel."

"We haven't had any quarrels since we were married," Byakuya commented.

"That's because there's been so little time when we were both conscious and not threatened with execution. Things have been kind of extreme. I imagine that now we'll have much more time to argue."

"Hmm," muttered Byakuya, "as if arguing with you was of any real use. You redefine the word stubborn."

"Oh, like you're any less stubborn," Renji laughed, "You just show it by getting quiet and I show it by getting louder."

"Well, then I'd say we are in some kind of natural balance," commented Byakuya, his eyes rising as they broke free of the forest and the Spirit King's Palace came into view.

Renji sensed a sudden drop in the noble's reiatsu and moved closer, slipping a warm hand into his. Byakuya gazed at the palace in the distance and couldn't quite suppress a cold shiver of memory. He took a slow breath and closed his eyes for a moment. He felt the hand that held his squeezing his gently.

"You okay, Byakuya?" he asked softly, watching the noble's distant eyes and the soft rush of wind that lifted his hair.

Byakuya was very aware of Renji shifting to the use of his name. He forced his eyes open and tried to ignore the cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, the memories of namelessness, loneliness…emptiness. His free hand slipped down and came to rest on his abdomen. Renji recognized the gesture all too well.

"Byakuya…you know, we don't have to do this now…if you don't feel up to it. We could go back and…I don't know…come here after our honeymoon of something."

Byakuya sighed.

"Running away from one's darker memories will not make them disappear, Renji. No…I won't allow what happened here before to have that much power…To do so would not do honor to the better things that we accomplished here. I will adjust…and eventually, being here will not evoke such emotions."

"So," Renji said, lowering his eyes to meet Beniko's, "what my very wise taichou is trying to tell me is that dealing with his fears is the only way to end them?"

"Hai…now, let us go. We have been spotted by the Royal Guard."

As they continued toward the palace, a detachment of Royal Guard members met them. The Royal Guard taichou was a slim, silvery haired man with wide green eyes and a businesslike, but warm manner.

"Well met, Kuchiki taichou," he said, then nodded to Renji, "and the same to you, Abarai fukutaichou. We were wondering when we would have the pleasure of seeing you here in the spirit dimension again."

Renji smiled at the very warm greeting and remembered that while their mission had been classified outside of the spirit dimension, the ones stationed here were all aware of what had happened within the sealed palace…and how difficult it had been for them. All of the members of the Royal Guard looked at them with deep respect and Renji could feel the depth of their appreciation. He looked over and caught his breath in surprise at the lovely happy glow around Byakuya as the noble realized why they were being treated with such deference. The hand that had been resting on his abdomen lifted and took the hand of the Royal Guard taichou's in greeting and he was surprised when the man placed his hands gently on the noble's shoulders and planted a light kiss on each cheek. Renji felt a slight sense of discomfort and opened his mouth to say something, when he was treated to the same. He accepted the gesture in silence, but moved closer to Byakuya as the group turned toward the palace.

"What the heck was all the kissing about?" he whispered, "I was ready to punch that guy for kissing you!"

Byakuya chuckled softly.

"It's all right, Renji, you have nothing to worry about. It was a gesture of deep respect and among nobles is a sign of status."

Renji couldn't help laughing.

"That's sure a far cry from how we get treated at home…well, for me anyway. I don't know…maybe your relatives do a lot of that. I haven't been in the family long enough to know."

"It is an older tradition…and is usually only employed for the members of the royal family or noble clan leaders."

"And me a mere mongrel!" Renji laughed, "Byakuya…that's just…nuts!"

Byakuya couldn't quite suppress a smile.

Renji was happy to see the relaxing of tension, the release of pressure, and the general calming in Byakuya's demeanor. The smile remained on his face as they fell in with the Royal Guard and continued toward the palace.

"I understand you were offered a position in the Royal Guard, Kuchiki taichou," the Royal Guard taichou said as they walked, "I would be honored to work alongside you."

"Arigato," Byakuya answered, nodding, "the honor would be mine, should I accept."

They made their way through the palace and on to the throne room. Renji noticed a slight flutter of eyelids and a small change in reiatsu as they passed the royal guestrooms, but the expression on the noble's face remained placid.

They were led to a nicely furnished receiving room, where they bathed and dressed in formal kimonos before meeting the Royal Guard taichou and moving on to the Throne Room.

They entered the throne room and took their places, kneeling before the king.

The king's face took on a beautiful, pleased expression and he stood and stepped forward, raising them and kissing them once on each cheek as the Royal Guard taichou had.

"Please, come with me into the garden," he told them, "I am so glad you have come. We will speak first and then adjourn to the banquet hall for dinner."

The huge double doors opened and the three stepped out into the garden. The king led them to a small hillside and they sat down beneath the sakura trees at the top.

"I was so pleased when I sensed you were coming here. So I see you have been successful in overcoming the obstacles you faced upon your return to the Seireitei."

"Hai," Byakuya said, nodding, "Renji fought exceptionally in his battle to cleanse Soutaichou's spirit of the harmful reiatsu that afflicted him."

"Hey…Byakuya, he did have me by the throat until you hit him, so I could…"

"It does not surprise me at all that you relied on each other in this battle. Always, you seem to work well together."

"I actually spent the bulk of the battle unconscious," said Byakuya quietly.

"But I wouldn't have been able to fight at all if you hadn't freed me, Byakuya."

The king smiled widely.

"Well, both of you have my gratitude. With the cleansing of the errant reiatsu, it seems that life in our worlds can resume more fully, a sense of normality…and for those who are still healing," he said, glancing at Byakuya, "the healing may progress."

He looked up into the wide blue sky overhead for a moment.

"Byakuya, I understand you have been informed of my offer to have you join the Royal Guard, here in the spirit dimension."

"Hai, my lord," Byakuya answered, bowing his head gracefully, "and I am deeply honored at the invitation…"

"But you do not wish to leave the Seireitei…correct?"

Byakuya looked up at him, blinking in surprise.

"Yes, I imagined it would be awkward for you and that you probably would not accept…I merely wished to put forth the offer as testament to your accomplishments. And the offer will remain standing until such time as you decide to accept."

"Arigato, my lord," Byakuya said, bowing.

"I have been thinking for some time about what I might do to show you my gratitude in a way that truly honors all you both have done. And I think that I have found a way. From time to time as my reign progresses, I will need trusted men who I might send either as my personal agents or as my representatives. As I am new to the position, I have not yet formed deep ties with many beyond you and the upper ranks of the Royal Guard. This position will not require you to give up your homes or positions in the Seireitei. When needed, I would call you here to inform you of your missions…and when completed, you would return home. You would be members of a new division I have decided to call the King's Personal Guard. As members of this special division, you will continue to wear the Royal Cipher and it will continue to assist you in the missions you accept on my behalf."

Byakuya and Renji exchanged glances.

"Do you need time to consider this? I can leave and allow you to discuss it privately."

"I don't need to think about it," smiled Renji, "I would be honored to accept."

"And I as well," agreed Byakuya.

The king's smile widened and he embraced each in turn.

"Welcome then. If you are amenable, we will dine and enjoy the stars tonight, then tomorrow, I will send word to Soutaichou and we will make arrangements for the ceremony to make this official. We will keep the knowledge of your new positions confidential. The Royal Guard will be informed, as will Soutaichou and the taichous of the Seireitei. We will have a banquet here to celebrate."

"Arigato, my lord," Byakuya said, bowing.

"Same goes for me," Renji added.

"You are both welcome. Now, there is only one more item I must address before we leave for dinner. I was wondering after Beniko's birth if the two of you might wish to have additional children. Most likely, you haven't given this much thought, but…"

"That would be wonderful!" exclaimed Renji, "Beniko is a really great kid…and…you know, I grew up without siblings. I mean, we street kids stuck together and all, but I always kind of wished I could have brothers and sisters…a big family."

He caught himself and turned to Byakuya.

"Oh, I'm sorry…I didn't…I wasn't thinking about what you might feel about it," he said, looking apologetic.

Byakuya smiled and took Renji's hand.

"Abarai Renji…I would be pleased to have as many children as you would like. I also grew up without siblings…and I would like for Beniko to have them."

"As you both now wear the Royal Cipher, it will allow either of you to bear children as Byakuya bore Beniko."

"What…you mean…I…" Renji stammered.

"Yes," Byakuya said, shooting him a sly smile, "That is what he said…Renji."

The king laughed merrily.

"You need only section the reiatsu and add the other's essence as before, then wait for it to stabilize and for the child to emerge, and you may have as many children as you wish.

"I've always rather enjoyed the idea of having a large family," Byakuya said, eyeing Renji.

"Uh…yeah, me too," he said, looking unnerved, "but, uh, Byakuya, I don't want to…you know…keep you from…uh…"

"Oh, you won't," Byakuya assured him, "We can take turns, perhaps."

The king laughed again.

"Well, I will leave the particulars to the two of you. Come, let us return to the palace."

Renji turned and followed, his expression still unsettled.

"Hey, uh, Byakuya," he said nervously, "When you say a 'large family,' like how large are we talking?"

Byakuya simply smiled at him and kept walking.


	31. What if...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji move forward...

Renji heard the soft tapping of rain on the windowpane and rested his chin on one hand as he scanned the report in front of him. Having had most of the day to adjust to the fact that it was their first day back at work since…since that day, the one that seemed like it had happened so long ago…like it had happened to another person, he managed to do an ample job of at least looking like he cared what he was reading. But really, he had been struggling all day to keep his eye from straying to the man at the other desk, the one who looked for all intents and purposes as though nothing had happened…as though it had all been a nightmare. And to some extent, it would have been better if it had simply been the result of him falling asleep at his desk.

Yes…even though it had brought the two of them together…and even though it gave them Beniko, Renji's heart ached for Byakuya. He wondered if he would ever be able to look at Kuchiki Byakuya without feeling that ache in his heart.

He became dimly aware of the last of the office personnel saying their good byes and heading out the door. The sun had gone down some time ago…and still, there was so much left to do. It would take them several days, if not a week or more, to catch up on the reports…and there was one report that would never be completed, one mission that would forever go unacknowledged…and it was ironic to Renji how much was both lost and gained in that mission.

He tried to imagine what it would have been like…if the king had not fallen that day…if he had tired of sitting so near his taichou and feeling like he was growing closer and not doing anything about it. He imagined that day as it was, then imagined that the alert had never sounded…and he imagined getting up from his chair, walking across the room and kissing Byakuya…just like that. And even though the noble, most likely would have reacted with some amount of violence, he would gladly have taken the pain on himself rather than to have Byakuya suffer so much.

"Abarai fukutaichou, is something wrong?"

_So much like that day…but not…_

"Sorry, Taichou, I was distracted by the rain."

"Hmm."

_What if?_

"Would you like me to make you some tea, Taichou?"

_If we had it to do all over again…_

"Yes, tea would be good, Abarai, arigato."

He rose from his chair and felt a shiver of memory pass through him as he reached the entrance to the hallway.

_What if I could have just kept walking…and made his tea…and set it at his elbow like always…but this time…this time…this time…_

He felt a pair of slender arms wrap around him from behind. Soft hair and warm, sweet breath tickled his skin. Renji felt the breath leave his body.

"Renji," the quiet, calm voice whispered, "Don't look back. If you keep stopping to look back and wonder 'what if,' then we can never move forward. And I want so much for us to move forward. We have each other. We have Beniko. We have a long, beautiful future together. Trust in our future…in our love. And if you want to ask 'what if,' then ask me…"

Renji closed his eyes.

"What if…"

"What if you turn in my arms right now and kiss me?"

Renji slowly turned and pressed his body against Byakuya's, then plunged into his hungry mouth, devouring his lips and capturing his tongue. He turned the noble and pushed him back against the door to the taichou's quarters, sinking deeper into his mouth and feeling the racing of their hearts beneath their skin. He broke away for a moment and brought his lips to Byakuya's ear.

"What if…"

"What if I allow us to abandon our paperwork for tonight, and if I open the door to this room, and invite you inside?"

The door he rested against, clicked and opened and Byakuya backed into the room, drawing Renji along with him. The door closed behind Renji and as he started forward, Byakuya shoved him back against the door and reached up near his shoulder to snap the lock into place.

"What if I cannot wait to get you into my bed, but I begin to take you, right here?"

And his mouth fastened on Renji's again, stealing the redhead's breath away, leaving him none to form the question and no way for his stunned mind to even consider…

One pale hand slipped around his head, holding him in place, while the noble continued to explore his mouth and the other hand released the ties at their waists. He slid his hands beneath their clothing, wrapped his arms around Renji and pressed forward, locking them together so tightly that Renji could feel the pulse of blood rushing in their veins. That wonderful mouth moved down the side of the redhead's face, and lips and tongue teased the skin of his throat in soft brushings and long licks, in scrapings of teeth and slow, sensuous suction.

Renji could feel himself growing hard…and he could feel through the fabric of their clothing that Byakuya was having an equally intense reaction. He couldn't help but push his hips forward, grinding them into the noble's until he was moaning and light-headed, and he could feel Byakuya's hot breath as he sighed against Renji's bare chest. Soft lips brushed an exposed nipple and Renji groaned impatiently, pressing harder into the body that held him trapped against the door. And Byakuya's hips were moving, grinding into his…and Renji felt his mind disappearing into the pleasure. Finally, he could take it no more. He wrapped his arms around the noble's shoulders and pulled him close, bringing his lips to Byakuya's ear.

"What if I can't take it anymore…and I take you off your feet and throw you down on your bed and make love with you, here and now?"

Byakuya's body tensed in reaction as Renji swept the noble into his arms and then flash stepped to the bed. He let go as Byakuya fell back onto the bed and let himself fall down on top of him. Two pairs of desperate hands quickly removed the rest of their clothing and Byakuya wrapped his legs firmly around his lover's golden torso, his hips thrusting upward, grinding heavily into Renji's.

Renji's mouth fastened on the noble's again, and he plunged deeply into that sweet place, moaning and thrusting into the hips that moved so heatedly against his. The delicious friction and heat against his thickened member made the redhead tear his mouth away from his lover's and left him trembling softly and panting against the soft skin of the noble's throat. He nipped sharply at the delicate skin, pulling his body away slightly, and slipping three fingers into Byakuya's mouth. The noble accepted them eagerly, stroking each warmly with a hungry tongue, bathing them in saliva. Renji pulled them free and reclaimed the noble's mouth, kissing him deeply, then falling on the sensitive skin of his throat and sucking hard, while his fingers slid down the length of Byakuya's body and slowly prepared him. He took his time, enjoying the feel of Byakuya's body beneath his and letting his hair trickle down onto the noble's skin, making him shiver softly and press into the fingers that probed him. Renji finally withdrew his fingers and repositioned himself at his lover's entrance, pushing slowly inside and watching the pleasure overtake the noble's usually calm features.

He paused for a moment, reaching down and wrapping a hand around the noble's thick erection and sliding up and down the long shaft, drawing soft, delicious moans from Byakuya's lips. The sound was so beautiful and the feel of the noble's body under his was so perfect, he found that he simply couldn't hold himself still. He began a gentle thrusting, watching as the dark, smoky eyes widened and blackened with arousal. He lifted his body slightly and quickened his motions, penetrating more deeply and continuing to pleasure his lover's hardened member.

He released the noble's cock and lifted his upper body, changing the angle and pounding in harder and deeper and faster, until he found the center of pleasure deep inside his lover's body and thrust into it again and again. A gasp of pleasure broke from Byakuya's lips and his body shuddered beneath Renji's as the hot pulses of his release began. Renji fell onto the noble, holding their bodies tightly against each other as he emptied himself into his lover, at the same time, bathing Byakuya's mouth and throat in long, deep kisses.

He finally broke away and buried his face in a tumble of black, sakura scented hair and let the warm pulses of their heartbeats carry him towards sleep. As he drifted somewhere between wakefulness and dream, he heard his lover's soft voice rise up out of the darkness.

"What if I told you that I love you more deeply than I thought I could love anyone…and that I will never give that love to any other?"

Renji's lips curved into a smile and he nuzzled deeper into Byakuya's embrace.

"What if I told you that I feel exactly the same way about you?" he asked.

"What if?" Byakuya whispered.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji woke to find himself alone in the bed and heard the sound of the shower. He climbed out of bed and walked to the bathroom door, opening it quietly and slipping inside. He paused for a moment, gazing through the shower door at the beautiful sight of his lover's bare body wrapped in hot mist. Then he opened the shower door and stepped inside, sliding his arms around that lovely body and realizing one moment later that Byakuya hadn't stiffened…and his breathing remained even and calm…and he sank back against Renji with a sigh of contentment.

He felt a burning in his eyes and closed them, thanking every star in the sky for that one, wonderful, powerful sign that healing was taking place, that he was moving beyond what had happened in the spirit dimension and living in the present again with a whole heart.

Renji was sure that there would be setbacks…for both of them, but that Byakuya had been right to remind him not to keep looking back and asking 'what if.' There was too much in the present that he would miss if he was constantly looking behind them.

And Abarai Renji wanted to enjoy everything about their life together.

Byakuya turned suddenly and shoved him back against the tiled wall, attacking his mouth with hard, penetrating kisses, then blazing a trail down the side of his face and his throat, sucking and licking the drops of water from his skin. Renji sank his fingers into the wet, black hair, encouraging him with softly shaking hands as he worked his way down the redhead's torso, pleasuring the skin with the warm motion of lips and tongue, with light nips and soft puffs of breath.

Renji's cock twitched softly and began to leak as the noble bent lower, pulling Renji's body closer and sinking his tongue into the wet navel, then sucking until Renji's chest heaved with quickened breath and he couldn't help pushing forward with his hips. The hot water pounded against his skin, just adding to the haze of intense sensations as Byakuya's tongue left his navel and the noble kissed his way down to the now, furiously leaking arousal that waited impatiently for his touch.

He paused and looked up at Renji…and Renji thought his expression looked enchanting, the way it did when he walked out into the gardens at night to look up and admire the moon and stars.

_Am I that fucking beautiful to him? Could I be…?_

And Byakuya's beautiful expression answered him.

_Yes, I think you are more beautiful than moon and stars…_

And the arms that pulled him closer told him.

_There is no greater beauty than ours when we are like this…_

And the gentle fingertips that stroked the sensitive skin of his sac reminded him.

_It isn't always in the obvious things, but it is obvious…_

And the perfect mouth that wrapped around him, told him everything without speaking a word.

_I want you…_

_I love you…_

_I treasure you…_

And held by his lover's hands, loved with eyes, fingers, lips and tongue, Renji was overwhelmed. He surrendered to Byakuya's love wholeheartedly, moaning the noble's name as he released into that hungry mouth, stricken with pleasure so strong, he threw his head back and didn't even feel it strike the wall. All he knew was that everything disappeared into a blinding array of stars and suddenly, he was on his knees and their mouths were fastened together and they were slowly sinking to the floor together.

"Renji…Renji, are you all right?" Byakuya asked, sounding concerned.

He was lying on his back and Byakuya was leaning over him…and the water rained down all around them. Byakuya's fingers were sinking into his hair. The noble hissed discontentedly and Renji felt the warm flare of healing power.

"I'm f-fine…" he said dizzily and he laughed at the cute expression of gentle reproach that he received in return.

The laughter sent waves of dizziness through him and he couldn't help but laugh again at Byakuya's amused and sweetly affectionate smile.

"You're fine?" Byakuya chuckled, "Is that what you said? You really have taken leave of your senses, Abarai."

Renji blinked and stared up into his lover's dark eyes, drinking in the emotion he found there as though he simply couldn't get enough. He pulled Byakuya down on top of him and attacked his mouth with kisses. The noble tried to pull away, but was dragged down again.

"Abarai…I am not…finished…healing you yet…" he managed between kisses.

"I don't give a damn about healing…" Renji moaned, "I just want you, Byakuya…"

"Well, if you'll wait just a moment, I'll be…"

The words were swept away as Renji turned and came to his feet. He dragged the resisting noble into his arms, carried him out of the bathroom and threw him down onto the bed. He trapped the hot, wet body beneath his and sank down on Byakuya's thickened member, smiling at the sparking eyes and flustered expression as he placed his hands on the noble's chest and began to move.

"Say what you want," Renji said, grinning, "but you're as hard as I am right now."

"You really have lost your mind," Byakuya said in a fading voice as the pleasure washed over him, stealing away resistance, words…and finally conscious thought.

"Yeah?" Renji answered, "Well look who's talking!"

Byakuya stared quietly up at the beautiful sight of the black markings on golden, tanned skin, the laughing brown eyes and the lovely sway of Renji's body as he moved. He didn't think he had ever seen a sight more beautiful…and he was completely convinced that he never would again.

He reached down and wrapped his hands around the redhead's writhing hips, letting his head fall back and his eyes close as he was carried away on intense waves of absolute bliss. He felt the motion cease and the slow, delicious fall of a body onto his. He wrapped his arms around Renji and turned into the redhead's waiting arms, giving himself over readily to the love they offered.

And he knew that there would be no more looking back…


End file.
